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March Group Read: Before We Were Yours
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Erica, Quality Control Supervisor
(last edited Feb 17, 2023 03:53AM)
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Feb 17, 2023 03:46AM
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342 pages
*$9.99 on Kindle
*Available in WorldCat (ebook) through some libraries
Synopsis
Memphis, 1939. Twelve-year-old Rill Foss and her four younger siblings live a magical life aboard their family’s Mississippi River shantyboat. But when their father must rush their mother to the hospital one stormy night, Rill is left in charge—until strangers arrive in force. Wrenched from all that is familiar and thrown into a Tennessee Children’s Home Society orphanage, the Foss children are assured that they will soon be returned to their parents—but they quickly realize the dark truth. At the mercy of the facility’s cruel director, Rill fights to keep her sisters and brother together in a world of danger and uncertainty.
Aiken, South Carolina, present day. Born into wealth and privilege, Avery Stafford seems to have it all: a successful career as a federal prosecutor, a handsome fiancé, and a lavish wedding on the horizon. But when Avery returns home to help her father weather a health crisis, a chance encounter leaves her with uncomfortable questions and compels her to take a journey through her family’s long-hidden history, on a path that will ultimately lead either to devastation or to redemption.
Based on one of America’s most notorious real-life scandals—in which Georgia Tann, director of a Memphis-based adoption organization, kidnapped and sold poor children to wealthy families all over the country—Lisa Wingate’s riveting, wrenching, and ultimately uplifting tale reminds us how, even though the paths we take can lead to many places, the heart never forgets where we belong.
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Week 1: Chapters 1 - 8
Week 2: Chapters 9 - 15
Week 3: Chapters 16 - 20
Week 4: Chapters 21 - 26
Since March is a longer month and starts midweek, we'll set the end of the first week as March 11th.
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Week 1:
(view spoiler)
Week 2:
(view spoiler)
Week 3:
(view spoiler)
Week 4:
(view spoiler)
Week 1(view spoiler)
I have read many books with this structure, so I did not find it confusing. You figured early on that there was a connection between Rill and Avery. As we read further into the book it will become evident of the relationship.
I do not understand why they call the parents by their name instead of mom or dad. Wonder if this will be explained further on. I have heard of adult children refer to parents by first name but never small children. Could it be these children really are not their biological children? Or bred to be sold on the black market?
When I think of child trafficking in today's world it is more teen used for sex. In this story i think it is more Black Market of selling babies. In last chapter woman says the blond hair blue eyes will go quickly. Almost like Nazi Germany.
I do not have time to do a re-read on this amazing book in March.But I just wanted to say that I hope those of you that can read it find it as interesting as I did and look into the history of the truth behind it and other orphan stories in history. 🤓
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1. The book is written in chapters that alternate between the past (Rill's voice) and the present (Avery's voice). Do you like this structure to the narrative? Is it confusing?
I was a bit confused in the first 3 or so chapters, but then finally got the rhythm of the book and it made more sense. I find the Avery chapters provide a bit of relief from the sad detail of the Rill chapters.
2. Rill calls her parents Queenie and Briny because they were so young when they had her. Have you ever known anyone who called their parents by their first names? Do you think it changes the family dynamic in any way?
I only know two people who called their parents by their first names - but I didn't know the parents ever so don't know what their home life was like. It just seems strange to me. How could the parents have the respect of the kids when they are talked to as equals?
3. The problem of child trafficking has not really gone away in our modern society even though it doesn't get as much attention as it should. Were you surprised at the willingness of adults in the story to participate in this activity?
The actions of the adults at the TCHS just horrified me. I can barely wrap my brain around such monstrosity.
Erica wrote: "Week 1I was a bit confused in the first 3 or so chapters, but then finally got the rhythm of the book and it made more sense. I find the Avery chapters provide a bit of relief from the sad detail ..."
Agree with you on the treatment the children received in the home...blows my mind.
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1. Why hasn't Briny or Queenie come looking for the children? It has been 2 weeks the Foss children are living in the Tennesse Childrens Home Society. As a parent I would be frantically looking for my missing children.
I think the Fosses were too poor to do much when their kids were stolen. They didn't have a car and Queenie was quite sick from her childbirth. But I'm sure they were absolutely frantic and sick over it all.
2. Who is Trent Turner to Grandma Judy? Could this be her long lost brother or other relative...blond hair blue eyes.
I think Trent myst be related to Grandma Judy. That seems to be what is being set up. Think of all the people out there today who are related and will never know!
3. The feeling I have toward orphanages are that they are mean to children. Take the movie "Annie" Ms Flannigan only cared about the money not the well being of the children. I am seeing the same in this novel. Are orphanages all about the many not the well being of children in the present day?
I am not sure what orphanages are like today. Children are very vulnerable. There seem to be too many greedy adults willing to exploit them. It's sickening.
Week 4:[
1. When May (Rill) first meets Avery at a political function she seems bewildered and calls her Fern. But later she seems to have full recall of all of her past and knows in detail what has happened to all of the Foss kids. How do you account for this difference?
I don't recall the political function, but if Grandma Judy is a sister the granddaughter, Avery, probably looks alike like the girls in the family. Avery probably resembles her sister, Fern. Her age and memory could impact and also does not want to cause problems for Stafford Family since they are people of high society and they were "river Gypsies". Wanted to keep the past in the past.
2. The Seviers adopt both Fern and then Rill at tremendous expense to themselves. Mr. Sevier just wants his wife to be happy after her loss of so many of their own children. Given that this "adoption" system was in place, can you blame the Seviers for wanting to achieve happiness in this way? Do you think they suspected that these children were ill-gotten by TCHS?
I am glad they adopted both girls. In those days women who could not have children relied on adoptions with technology in today's world IVF and surrogates are available. In which case both are very expensive to do.
I don't think he suspected that Tann was abusive to these children, if they did I think he had enough money to take to the courts. When she came back and blackmailed his wife asking for more money he was going to challenge her. I think if he knew there were more children besides Rill and Fern I bet he would have tried to find them to keep the family together.
3. The TCHS was finally closed in 1950, which means that there are likely still many families out there with grandparents who went through this horrid system. Do you think it's better for them to find out about their history, or is it best to leave things lie after such a long time?
I think they should open the books and allow those who wish to find the siblings allowed to do that. A friend of ours recently found his biological mother who put him up for adoption 50 years ago. His adoptive parents are both deceased and was an only child. Now he has whole new family brothers and sisters and a mother whom they visit with and introducing his own family to her.
If my grandparents were in this situation I would want to know. My own grandmother family adopted their cousin after her mother died during childbirth and raised her as their own. She was referred to as my grandmother's sister. It was many years later that they told my sister and I the story.(view spoiler)
Erica wrote: "Week 2:1. Why hasn't Briny or Queenie come looking for the children? It has been 2 weeks the Foss children are living in the Tennesse Childrens Home Society. As a parent I would be frantically lo..."
As I finished the book I now know why the parents never came looking for the children.
Trent grandfather was not a Foss but the little boy Steven who Rill took under wing when they all were taken to Tennesse Children Society Home. I think him losing his sister so early in life made this his life mission to help others find loved ones. I wondered if he found his sister?
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1. Georgia Tann was a real woman who ran the TCHS. She was the daughter of a prominent judge. What makes a monster like this? I find it hard to grasp a woman who was brought up in (presumably) a life of privilege could be so evil. It makes me wonder if she was abused by someone in her family.
2. Rill is offered the possibility of rescue by Silas but refuses until she can bring Fern with her. Have you ever seen this level of loyalty and bravery in a child before?
I have never seen this display of loyalty or bravery in anyone I know. I think Rill was trying to hold together the shreds of family she had left, and was clearly completely traumatized by the loss of the others.
3. Mr. Sevier hears Rill playing piano and encourages her efforts. At first she's thrilled but then his comment triggers PTSD about Riggs attack on her. Do you think she will ever recover from her experiences at the TCHS?
I think Rill will always have a very broken part of her from her experiences with Riggs (and knowing what he did to her younger sister). I'm not sure it is possible to fully heal from that kind of hurt.
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1. When May (Rill) first meets Avery at a political function she seems bewildered and calls her Fern. But later she seems to have full recall of all of her past and knows in detail what has happened to all of the Foss kids. How do you account for this difference?
I agree with Mrs W (Cindy) that Avery's probable resemblance to Fern likely caused confusion in May's mind, at least for that moment. But her memory seemed crystal clear later after she figured out who was who.
2. The Seviers adopt both Fern and then Rill at tremendous expense to themselves. Mr. Sevier just wants his wife to be happy after her loss of so many of their own children. Given that this "adoption" system was in place, can you blame the Seviers for wanting to achieve happiness in this way? Do you think they suspected that these children were ill-gotten by TCHS?
Like Cindy, I imagine that people who couldn't have children were pretty desperate and just didn't look too hard at the "how" of the adoptions available to them. I was also glad they adopted both girls and agree that they probably would have looked for the others too if they had only known.
3. The TCHS was finally closed in 1950, which means that there are likely still many families out there with grandparents who went through this horrid system. Do you think it's better for them to find out about their history, or is it best to leave things lie after such a long time?
This is hard to answer. I think a lot of people would want to know but some may not want to. I don't know how you strike a balance between the two. I always think honesty is the best policy though, so that leans towards having everything open. Unfortunately, it sounded as though the records were pretty slim and many people who went through that system probably can't be identified anymore.
