Support for Indie Authors discussion

165 views
Archived Author Help > How do you deal with your self-doubt?

Comments Showing 51-100 of 122 (122 new)    post a comment »

message 51: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4443 comments Mod
Alexander wrote: "I really like writing about characters (especially protagonists) who are so cynical, profane, crude, and prone to commit the most insane acts of violence with the slightest provocation."

Even the greatest and best of protagonists should have some flaws. Taking that to some extreme may lose you a reader here and there, but no matter what we do some people will not appreciate our writing. Write what you feel compelled to write. Chances are there's someone out there that will enjoy reading it.

Alexander wrote: "Since I mostly write action stories, I quickly establish the setting and briefly describe who's there before all hell breaks loose."

Have you considered starting with all hell breaking loose and then later give the details? If done right, this can be effective. One of my many stories I'm working on begins with the main character waking up at the bottom of a ravine, bloody, broken and covered with glass. I'm sure someone somewhere told you, or you read it, or you've seen it done in a million books, that you must start by describing a setting and then the characters present. But, this is your story. You set the rules for how it will be written. As long as your mechanics are good, the style and the way you tell the story are completely up to you.

Alexander wrote: "Of course, that'd get old pretty fast, I'm sure, as my sense of humour (dark, crude, and cynical) isn't exactly for everyone."

My sense of humor goes all over the place: puns, word play, black humor, gross humor, absurd humor, satire, parody and so on. It isn't for everyone. But, guess what, Alexander? No writer has ever written anything that pleases everyone. Don't reach for that star or you'll go mad. Write to please you.

Alexander wrote: "I can resolve everything in a story, but actually concluding the whole story with a final line is difficult for me."

I used to struggle with that, but here's one little trick I developed: When the point of the story has been made, the story can end. Don't put the ending too far from the point you're trying to make.

Alexander wrote: "I have problems with both styles..."

Every style can be problematic. Go with the style(s) that are most comfortable for you.


message 52: by Alexander (new)

Alexander Engel-Hodgkinson (nexus_engel) | 15 comments Dwayne wrote: "Alexander wrote: "I really like writing about characters (especially protagonists) who are so cynical, profane, crude, and prone to commit the most insane acts of violence with the slightest provoc..."


All true. Stories with more unlikable characters are generally more interesting, in their own way. I don't go to huge extremes (at least I don't think so) where they slaughter innocent people and laugh about it, or whatever. I like to show them as bad, and then compare them to the real bad guys... and then turn both sides loose on each other.

I have started with all hell breaking loose before, in a story I'm working on. I established the setting, place, and date in a brief paragraph. Then I had a bad guy drop a grenade in a shopper's bag at a hypermarket. Boom. Instant hostage situation with the protagonist and his partner caught in the middle--both cops, up against ten or so thugs. And you're right, I have read that you should have everything established first. I try to think of 'reading rules' as more guidelines than full-on 'author laws you must abide by.'

True, you can't please everyone! Best to find an audience who enjoys that kind of stuff and stick with them. But like all doubts, as you most likely know, the whole 'must please everyone' thing will always creep up every once in a while. But you're right, it ought to be ignored. :)

The ending will always be a challenge for me. Perhaps I should look at it as a punchline, where as soon as everything's over and done with, the character will look at the sky, or walk away, or say one last thing. And then just end it right there. Doesn't even have to be a witty ending, just an ending. I've always had a thing for 'abrupt' endings in movies. Something happens and then suddenly the credits roll.

Good advice on the style. I think instead of trying to change it, I should hone it. Not really alter it, but just make it more fluent and workable.

Thanks a lot! :)


message 53: by Jeffrey (new)

Jeffrey Roberts | 3 comments Chocolate cream pie and a cold glass of milk!


message 54: by Riley, Viking Extraordinaire (new)

Riley Amos Westbrook (sonshinegreene) | 1521 comments Mod
The guy above me knows the meaning of life....I can tell.


message 55: by [deleted user] (new)

For me, the problem is recognizing when the question, "Oh, what's it about?" is just polite conversation. After a minute or two of expounding on the Anthelion Galaxy and the dwellers therein, I get the "OMG! I'm talking to a lunatic" stare. "I write Science Fiction," is usually a much safer initial response.


message 56: by Charles (last edited Mar 15, 2015 03:29PM) (new)

Charles Hash | 1054 comments Charles wrote: "For me, the problem is recognizing when the question, "Oh, what's it about?" is just polite conversation. After a minute or two of expounding on the Anthelion Galaxy and the dwellers therein, I get..."

If I give some people just a short synopsis they look at me like I'm insane. Two minutes is about tops.

Also I tried to find some of your work on your profile and didn't see any. :(


message 57: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4443 comments Mod
Alexander wrote: "Stories with more unlikable characters are generally more interesting, in their own way."

But, of course! A character that comes across as perfect is dull to read about. We want to see their flaws. And as writers we want to see them develop. Hard to develop a character that has nothing left to learn or gain.

Alexander wrote: "I try to think of 'reading rules' as more guidelines than full-on 'author laws you must abide by.'"

Same here. Most rules for writing are not set in stone. Yes, your spelling, punctuation and grammar matter. Yes, it is good to have a plot, characters and to keep that plot moving and keep those characters growing and developing. The writing must be interesting enough so you don't lose all your readers by page three.

Literature, like all art forms, must evolve. We cannot keep writing the same stories our great-grandparents read.

A good example is I have heard a number of people complain that too many books today are written in first person, present tense. I don't write that way myself, but I have read some books written that way. It's a little hard to get used to, but it's just part of the evolution of literature. After a few pages I don't think about it anymore and can enjoy a story written that way as much as any other.

Alexander wrote: "But like all doubts, as you most likely know, the whole 'must please everyone' thing will always creep up every once in a while."

It is discouraging when a reviewer says they don't like your work. But, we have to remember we can only do so much. A great deal of disappointment in a story may come from things we can't control, such as reader taste and expectation.

Alexander wrote: "The ending will always be a challenge for me. Perhaps I should look at it as a punchline, where as soon as everything's over and done with, the character will look at the sky, or walk away, or say one last thing. And then just end it right there. Doesn't even have to be a witty ending, just an ending. I've always had a thing for 'abrupt' endings in movies. Something happens and then suddenly the credits roll."

I thought of something that might help. Write the ending of your story the way you want it to end. Don't think about it while you're writing, just do what comes naturally. Then, when you're editing or rewriting you can take a hard look at the ending and chop out anything that is not necessary. Often times good writing is not just putting words in that work, but taking words out that do not.


message 58: by Kaye (new)

Kaye Pascal | 2 comments surrounding myself with positive inspirational things.


message 59: by [deleted user] (new)

Charles wrote: "Charles wrote: "For me, the problem is recognizing when the question, "Oh, what's it about?" is just polite conversation. After a minute or two of expounding on the Anthelion Galaxy and the dweller..."

Thanks for looking Charles, There's nothing on the profile because I will be publishing Dancing With The Dead this year, as soon as I can guarantee the arrival of the sequel, Alvar's Spear will be ready to go within two months of pub date.


message 60: by Alexander (new)

Alexander Engel-Hodgkinson (nexus_engel) | 15 comments Funny you mention a character who's perfect and dull. I'd just read a Don Pendleton's The Executioner novel and the protagonist is one of those incorruptible justice-seeking agent types. After three novels in a row, it gets really boring. Lol.

Yeah, I try to keep my plots fast-paced for the most part. My series isn't generally fast-paced but that doesn't stop a lot of stuff from happening in each volume. They're just long volumes. My shorter stuff, of course, gets the job done faster.

People complain too much about how a story is structured. Nowadays, people don't generally have the patience to sit through something like The Godfather and just dismiss it because of its length or 'wordiness.' It's really quite sad. :/

I'm not particularly discouraged by negative criticism so long as it's creative and helpful criticism.

I completed the first draft of my latest novella the other day and I really liked how it ended. It was sudden, but it got the point across like a punchline, and it didn't leave the final action of the character in that scene as ambiguous. So I think, in that regard, I'm improving. :)


message 61: by Deborah (new)

Deborah Sweeney (genealogylady) I think everyone deals with self-doubt. You decide how you will tackle it. Does the doubt defeat you or does it make you stronger? I had a person who works in the book publishing industry go on and on the other day about how self-publishing never goes anywhere. Little did she know I was self-publishing a book! Did it freak me out? Of course, but I am not going to let one person dictate my success or failure!


message 62: by Charles (new)

Charles Hash | 1054 comments Deborah wrote: "I think everyone deals with self-doubt. You decide how you will tackle it. Does the doubt defeat you or does it make you stronger? I had a person who works in the book publishing industry go on and..."

People in the book publishing industry are sticking their heads in the sand the same way the newspaper and magazine industry did with the internet, and the same way television is continuing to.

The worst is when doubt just completely stops you from writing for days. I wish I knew how to get rid of that mess.


message 63: by Barbara (new)

Barbara Best | 13 comments As a writer, sometimes I feel like I'm in a bubble. In a way, disconnected from everything. Fixed in my own little world, head in the clouds. Sometimes it is nice to get out of my head and into the world of others who write as well. I am new to this site, but already find the benefits of exploring what other like-minds think. A helpful reply...a new friend along the way. It balances my perspective on things and chases away that doubt demon of a trickster that finds its way in.


message 64: by Lorine (new)

Lorine Thomas | 130 comments For me it is my Achilles Heel. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy when it comes to that. Due to past childhood traumas, I am constantly trying to keep those doubts and things at bay. Sometimes I am good, but then sometimes it just takes one bad remark and it flares right back up. I'm getting better but still.....


message 65: by Lorena (new)

Lorena (yaxchi) | 16 comments I just finished and published a book that was laugh out loud funny in places. But the second book in the trilogy is not going to be that way because the character is older, and has entered a different world. One of the people in my writer's group seemed alarmed that this next book is going to be serious, like I took a turn she didn't like. So that put me back on my heels for a bit. Expectations and their fulfillment. It's not what we writers should be about, but there is pressure sometimes.


message 66: by Riley, Viking Extraordinaire (last edited Mar 18, 2015 05:37PM) (new)

Riley Amos Westbrook (sonshinegreene) | 1521 comments Mod
I hear that Lorena. Like the reviewer that said, "Promising plot but too many updated slang terms for my liking." about Breath of the Titans. I was actually going for that, so I didn't mind that she didn't like it, and was happy that it stood out.


message 67: by Deborah (new)

Deborah Sweeney (genealogylady) It is impossible for everyone to like everything. This is why so many books and genres exist. Someone somewhere will like what you write! And I agree with BB. What I write is my legacy and hopefully it will be treasured by someone after I am gone.


message 68: by Vance (new)

Vance Smith | 5 comments Ann wrote: "I had this problem for many years. My parents didn't encourage me to write. In fact, they told me that it was highly unlikely I would ever be an author -- it was too difficult. They tried to teach ..."

I really like that sentiment. Write because you want to... Otherwise, why do it at all, right? I've always been of the mind that you have to write the stories that you want to read, and I think your point fits well with that. We write the stories we write because we enjoy it, and they are stories we are excited about. If nothing else comes of our writing, at least we've been true to our own self. I'm kinda butchering the whole idea, but I think you get my point.


message 69: by Susan (new)

Susan Stafford | 230 comments I agree Vance - we write as a way of being true to our own self and self-publishing is helping to fulfill our dreams


message 70: by Katherine (new)

Katherine Dell (katherine_dell) | 4 comments Chris wrote: "That is a very good approach. I also read in between my writing, I find that it helps my focus and gets my mind flowing better. I read blood and guts series, for some reason the all-out war of the ..."
HI Chris,
I've been reading your comments on how to deal with self-doubt... and I have a little story for you.

I too have moments of self-doubt about my writing, like every writer I'm sure. To calm my fears when I have these moments I think back to an event I went to last August. It was an evening with Veronica Roth and Tahereh Mafi. They were both speaking about their books and how they got started. There was one thing Veronica Roth said at that event that will stick with me forever. In speaking about her editor, Veronica said her editor told her "Don't be afraid to be bad at something, before you are good."

Write more, read more and share more... It's the only way to get better at being an author.


message 71: by Lorine (new)

Lorine Thomas | 130 comments Katherine wrote: "Chris wrote: "That is a very good approach. I also read in between my writing, I find that it helps my focus and gets my mind flowing better. I read blood and guts series, for some reason the all-o..."

I like that, makes sense.


message 72: by Jessica (last edited Mar 21, 2015 10:04AM) (new)

Jessica Alter (jessica_alter) | 7 comments Chris wrote: "Ah yes, that little voice in your head that keeps chipping away at your resolve. Is your writing style good enough? Will your readers enjoy your book? Are you doing things the correct way? Are your chapters too long? Is there enough action early on to grip readers? What will you do if they hate your novels?

How do you deal with all of the doubt?"


Yikes. Well, I just keep on trying to write the best novel I can write. I know my writing style and narrative evolves with each book, so I sometimes hold on to that and reassure myself that this is my best effort at this time in my writing career. Some days, I want to quit; other days, I am energized to push myself further.

Writing is as much who I am as what I do, even if I didn't publish. So, I publish and share my stories with others, remembering that every book has its reader.


message 73: by Rachael (new)

Rachael Eyre (rachaeleyre) | 194 comments I suffer from crippling self doubt at times. Part of the problem is that people are only familiar with the big name authors, so the general reaction (particularly when they're friends or family) is, "Why aren't you as prolific / successful as So and So?" They also have this notion that writing is some kind of cushy hobby, and look at you wonderingly if you say you've been working on the same book for 3 years.

Sometimes I get to the point where I can't stand the sight of my book, and can't look at it objectively. When I feel like that, I put it away for a while and do almost anything else instead. When I do return to it, I'm often pleasantly surprised. So much of it can be due to the mood you're in at the time or a bad review; don't let that taint your writing experience.


message 74: by Vance (new)

Vance Smith | 5 comments Rachael wrote: "I suffer from crippling self doubt at times. Part of the problem is that people are only familiar with the big name authors, so the general reaction (particularly when they're friends or family) is..."

Whoa, I thought I was the only one who did that! You are right, though. You can't let your mood, or a bad review kill your writing. People really seem to think that an author can't look at their work objectively because they will just think it is the best thing ever, but often it's quite the opposite.


message 75: by Terrica (last edited Mar 24, 2015 05:59PM) (new)

Terrica Duncan (myjoyandlight) | 8 comments That pesky self-doubt is always lurking around in our heads. People love to beat themselves up. It's what we do as human beings. Even the arrogant, self-assured, narcissistic, pompous, people have self-doubt (Oh, I think that I'm describing myself Ha! No, I'm not!)Seriously, we, as writers cannot let self-doubt rule our thoughts and put a strangle hold on our talent. What I do to snap myself out of it (I am very critical of my writing and myself in general) I tell myself that I AM NOT ALONE in this writing thing. I also say, "Who else is going to tell your story?" No one can tell our stories but us. So, write it and forget about what others are going to think about your craft. Everyone is not going to love your work. Plus, how many well-known authors were rejected because someone thought that their work stunk? Uh . . . J.K. Rowling, Stephen King, Joseph Heller, Anne Frank, Agatha Christie, James Patterson, John Grisham, Judy Blume, Alex Haley, etc.
It's up to us to shut the self-doubt down and labor on with what we love to do-write!
So, to all of the writers/authors, I say, "Do what you do best and ignore the self-doubt. And it may be hard to give yourself a swift kick in the *** but do it anyway if the obnoxious neighbor known as self-doubt comes knocking on your door." Let's go writers/authors!


message 76: by Christine (new)

Christine Procter | 2 comments I found joining a creative writing course at my local college great support. When that self-doubt raises its ugly head, I look to the work I've produced for class. When you get rave reviews from the other students, it gives a warm glow. When your lecturer (multiple published author) says 'it's of publishable quality' - you know there's something there.


message 77: by Philip (new)

Philip Dodd (philipdodd) | 32 comments Self doubt is a mood like any other. It will pass. When confidence returns, you will understand that self doubt is a passing mood that helps you to grow, to make yourself and your works better. If you had no self doubt and believed in yourself and your works all the time, you would not grow.


message 78: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4443 comments Mod
Philip wrote: "If you had no self doubt and believed in yourself and your works all the time, you would not grow."

Agreed. Most everyone with a passion to write has some strengths and something unique. We all have talents. But, none of us is perfect. We all have areas in which we can grow. A nice balance of doubt and confidence is good.


message 79: by [deleted user] (new)

Hi! I am new to the group although I have been with GoodReads for about a year now. I truly love reading and writing but I do have that little niggling self-doubt thing going on, unfortunately. Just today I posted a question in another forum about how to handle that and I somehow stumbled across the group here and read through some of the posts. I have won several contests with my short stories and poetry. I joined another group (not through GoodReads) and have received mainly nothing but harsh critiques. I am okay with constructive criticism but some of the things people from this new group have said just seem downright mean! Am I too sensitive to be a writer? How do you harden yourself to harsh comments but still remain flexible and lucid enough to continue your dreams and desires? Any advice is greatly appreciated!


message 80: by Riley, Viking Extraordinaire (new)

Riley Amos Westbrook (sonshinegreene) | 1521 comments Mod
Melissa wrote: "Hi! I am new to the group although I have been with GoodReads for about a year now. I truly love reading and writing but I do have that little niggling self-doubt thing going on, unfortunately. ..."

What you're describing is EXACTLY what we're trying to avoid here, better to lift people up than put them down imho!


message 81: by [deleted user] (last edited Mar 26, 2015 11:43AM) (new)

Melissa wrote: "I am okay with constructive criticism but some of the things people from this new group have said just seem downright mean! Am I too sensitive to be a writer? How do you harden yourself to harsh comments but still remain flexible and lucid enough to continue your dreams and desires? Any advice is greatly appreciated!..."

If the advice they're offering is helpful, even though it might hurt your feelings a little, that's part of the business. But if they're mean just for the sake of it, or to show off their cleverness without offering any advice you can use, it's time to leave that group and seek out those who can be helpful.


message 82: by [deleted user] (new)

Thanks, Riley and Ken! If I am a terrible writer then I would like to know so I can drop the charade of trying to be something that I am not suited for. I like wonderful comments just like everyone else, of course, but I don't want anything sugar-coated either. I guess it's a fine line on how we perceive comments and how thick our skin is, so to speak.


message 83: by Charles (new)

Charles Hash | 1054 comments Ken wrote: "Melissa wrote: "I am okay with constructive criticism but some of the things people from this new group have said just seem downright mean! Am I too sensitive to be a writer? How do you harden your..."

I left a group on goodreads because of one person's terrible attitude.


message 84: by [deleted user] (new)

Charles, Many years ago I self-published a novel (I wish I had done it differently now) but I contacted a lady with the publishing company because of some concerns and she treated me like total crap. It was horrible! I cried for days and days and gave up on writing all together until I came to GoodReads. I still loved to read and was just going to talk about books I have read and whatnot. I joined a group and everyone was so super nice that I started writing again. I am working on a new novel (although I haven't gotten very far) and I think it's much better than my last because of feedback on short stories and poetry. I keep having to tell myself that those negative people out there are just a handful and few and far between ... but it is a blow when you think you are doing well and someone trashes you. It takes me a while to recover, unfortunately!


message 85: by Lorine (new)

Lorine Thomas | 130 comments Melissa wrote: "Charles, Many years ago I self-published a novel (I wish I had done it differently now) but I contacted a lady with the publishing company because of some concerns and she treated me like total cra..."

I agree with you Melissa. When you put your heart and soul into something and someone trashes it, it is like a piece of you slowly dies. I just had to learn that not all writing is for everyone and not everyone will like what you put out. But it does take me a min to get over harshness as well.


message 86: by Charles (new)

Charles Hash | 1054 comments Keep in mind, those people are probably unhappy with their own professional progress and take it out on everyone else. Their book is obviously the best one ever written, and its not selling, so there is no way someone else's should either.


message 87: by Erik (new)

Erik Mackenzie (httpwwwthekingdomofassassinscom) | 21 comments Have many people read your book (even rough drafts) and read the best books and then slowly mold your book with blood, sweat and tears over time. Don't rush writing a novel and be flexible feedback.


message 88: by Vance (new)

Vance Smith | 5 comments Largely, writing is subjective, as well. What one person finds amazing, poetic and thought provoking, I will find dull, boring and a rather terrible paperweight. We, as writers, need to keep that in mind, not only in regards to our own self doubts, but with criticism, as well. Obviously, we need to be willing to accept said criticism when and where it is applicable. Blah, I think you get what I'm saying. If I've messed it up, I do apologies.


message 89: by Charles (last edited Mar 26, 2015 02:25PM) (new)

Charles Hash | 1054 comments Vance wrote: "Largely, writing is subjective, as well. What one person finds amazing, poetic and thought provoking, I will find dull, boring and a rather terrible paperweight. We, as writers, need to keep that i..."

I'm not really referring to people that say general things like "Its not really my cup of tea". Moreso I'm referring to the venomous individuals that believe everything must be molded to fit their limited world view, or its garbage. There is only their way, and everything else is wrong.

You have to take things for what they are, and not what you expect them to be.


message 90: by Riley, Viking Extraordinaire (new)

Riley Amos Westbrook (sonshinegreene) | 1521 comments Mod
Like the lady who told me I use to modern of slang in my epic fantasy, but that's exactly what I was going for. So I'm glad she caught it.


message 91: by Charles (new)

Charles Hash | 1054 comments I had someone complain that I referenced goth and cheeseburgers in my book that is set 500 years in the future.

Pffft wearing all black and bacon cheeseburgers aren't going anywhere.


message 92: by Lauren (new)

Lauren Berry | 2 comments I think you're right Vance - You can't expect everyone to like your writing.
I think one of the best ways to deal with self-doubt is to accept the bad criticism as unavoidable, and also accept that you are going to make mistakes and people are going to pick up on them.
It's all part of writing, the same as any other art form.
Mind you, I say that from my high horse but actually when I get bad criticism I walk around my room in a rant, calling the criticiser every name under the sun, then go downstairs and sulk with a cup of tea for an hour or so. That makes me feel better too :)


message 93: by [deleted user] (new)

Lorine, So true! In a way, I feel like each piece of writing - short story, poetry or whatever the case may be is an extension of myself. My thoughts, my feelings, my baby so to speak and when someone just rips it apart it hurts. I do try to take into consideration that not everything is for everybody. I like mysteries but I'm not much into romance. I have read certain things that are very well-written but it's just not my genre or on a subject that really interests me. It doesn't make it any less important to the person who wrote it though. I know I need to develop a thicker skin but it is really rough to do so sometimes!


message 94: by B.K. (new)

B.K. Raine (BKRaine) | 57 comments When I was in high school, I wrote a one act play/ monologue about a girl in a mental institution. After dress rehearsal, a few classmates offered their unsolicited and extremely negative feedback. I wanted to pull the play, but I didn't. And got a standing ovation. I appreciate criticism when it comes from the right place but overly mean spirited "feedback" almost never does.

Putting yourself out there is hard...terrifying...My advice for dealing with self doubt...take a deep breath and dive. Ps. I wrote a blog about this too: https://bkraine.wordpress.com/2015/03...


message 95: by Ann, Supreme Overlord (new)

Ann Andrews (annliviandrews) | 687 comments Mod
Great point BK! And you have to trust yourself to tell the difference in where the criticism is coming from. :)


message 96: by Kevin (last edited Mar 27, 2015 08:49AM) (new)

Kevin Hill (kevinrhill) | 102 comments Hello group. I deal with the doubt with exercise. I also go on Amazon and read negative reviews of my favorite books by authors of great status. That makes me feel better. Of course I try to make the story 100% me, authentic, because only I have that voice. I also often think about my college Journalism professor who said that the mark of good story is that half the callers loved it, half hated it. And when all fails I call Mom.


message 97: by B.K. (new)

B.K. Raine (BKRaine) | 57 comments "And when all fails I call Mom"

Kevin, how could I have forgotten this advice?


message 98: by Dwayne, Head of Lettuce (new)

Dwayne Fry | 4443 comments Mod
Charles wrote: "Pffft wearing all black and bacon cheeseburgers aren't going anywhere."

In 500 years, cheeseburgers will be our masters.


message 99: by Charles (last edited Mar 27, 2015 11:24AM) (new)

Charles Hash | 1054 comments Dwayne wrote: "Charles wrote: "Pffft wearing all black and bacon cheeseburgers aren't going anywhere."

In 500 years, cheeseburgers will be our masters."


Now that's an idea for post apocalyptic satire. Ruled by Cheeseburgers after they gain sentience.

I did end up changing the cheeseburger to a rare delicacy in the text because of it though.


message 100: by [deleted user] (new)

Speaking as an autistic author who woke up about 50 minutes ago with hypoglycaemia severe (I have diabetes, just to add to the fun) enough to necessitate crawling along the floor with very limited sight or sensation of where the goal was, I have this much to say.

There is self-doubt, and there is self-doubt.

If you have the ability to feel no doubt that you can take care of yourself and live weeks, months, even years without any loss of that ability, then all else follows. You can learn to write a masterpiece, learn to travel everywhere by backflipping, whatever the hell you feel ready to devote the time to.

I could wake up tomorrow unable to feed myself. I do not say that in an effort to be competitive. I say it because of the point in the above paragraph. If you have no doubt about your ability to get up tomorrow, walk to your bathroom, and get yourself ready for a new day, then all else from learning a new musical instrument to winning the lottery can follow from there.

People who have spoken to me here might find it enlightening in terms of my choice-making process when I say that for me, the future seems a race between attainment and disaster. To me, that is what self-doubt means. When you are so doubtful that you will win this race that you are willing to risk everything for the sake of a speed boost.

Carry on.


back to top