Trying my hand on getting self published on kickstarter

[Noel]

Good morning everyone, yesterday I started my first campaign on kickstarter working to get my book self published in the coming months. Would love to get input if you have the time

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/...

I put up the first chapter, that still needs a bit of editing but thought it would be a good place to start.

So what about other authors here, have you used kickstarter and how was the experience?

Thanks

[Noel]

I should also provide the introduction, here it is

When did you stop believing in Santa Claus?

Can you remember the date and time when all your senses told you that Santa Claus can’t exist. That circumnavigate the globe and delivering presents to hundreds of million not if billions of children in a single night was not only impossible but defied the laws of nature, time, physics and flight.

As we grow from child to adult somewhere our innocent is lost and our sense of child-like amazement leaves our body and is replaced with a jaded sense of the world where no miracles can exist or can easily be explained by science or down-right common sense.
For Raquel Paitek, a gifted twelve you old girl, the belief of San-ta Claus begins to fade as she enters her teenage years and she sets out to disapprove the existence of Santa Claus. For most teenagers set-ting out on such a mission to disproved the existence of Santa Claus boarder on the insane, but her mother and father, Fluer and Dori Paitek not believing in Santa Claus was not just sacrilege but an abom-ination to many residents in their gated community. Why was it so important and what does the neighborhood of the Villes de l’Antarctique have to hide?

What Raquel discovers leads her to an adventure of a lifetime for her and her sister Tate leading to the potential destruction of Christ-mas as we know it escalating tensions between brewing factions with-in the Villes de l'Antarctique with the fragile stability of power for all mythical creatures hangs in the balance.

[Sky]

My advice is this: take a good editorial look at your campaign page, keeping a close eye out for typos. A few quick examples:

Follow our heroine Raquel, a 12 year girl as she struggles to believe that Santa Claus exists because she logical can't explain it

"Logical" in the above sentence should be "logically" and you're missing a comma after "girl."

Introduction - you can also read the first chapter by click here

"Click" should be "clicking."

Can you remember the date and time when all your senses told you that Santa Claus can’t exist. That circumnavigate the globe and delivering presents to hundreds of million not if billions of children in a single night was not only impossible but defied the laws of nature, time, physics and flight.

First of all, both of these sentences are worded as questions, but are missing question marks. "Circumnavigate" should be "circumnavigating" and "million not if" should be "millions if not."

Remember, as a writer, you trade on your ability with the written word. As it stands, that's quite a few typos in the sentences that are serving as a potential reader's first introduction to your writing. As a reader looking for a campaign to back, I would have probably already moved on.

Good luck with your campaign and your book!