BOTM for November Z is AFTER ZERO

[Jemima]

If you're looking for a Z to complete your A to Z Challenge, I recommend this one.

After Zero

I was lucky enough to get an ARC and loved it. It was also my first encounter with one of the premier and ignored scientists of our time - ignored because she was female, of course.

Don't let me colour your judgement, just put your views in this thread and remember, respect - tolerance - good vibes.

[Justine]

I picked this book up around the time we were nominating, read a few pages, but had to park it due to lack of time. I went back to it at the weekend and read into the night as it was so compelling. I finished it that same night!

[Jemima]

I'm glad you enjoyed it, Justine. I loved it :)

[Jennifer]

Reading this book brought up so many memories of my own transition to public school in 8th grade. Where Elise had been homeschooled for the early years of her education, I attended a Montessori school for my early years. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Montessori method, it is very different from a traditional education. Similar to Elise, I had the same teacher for all but one year of my time in Montessori. My "grade" had between 3-6 other students, depending upon the year, and we students had much MUCH more freedom during the school day. My transition to public school occurred because the Montessori school I attended did not extend into high school. So, at twelve years old, I took a placement test, just like Elise, to help determine what grade level I would enter. My age would have put me in the 7th grade and my test scores in the 9th grade. My parents elected to place me into the advanced classes of the 8th grade. Like Elise, I did already know someone else in my grade, two people actually, but my best friend who was transitioning the same year, was placed into the 7th grade. So, like Elise, I had no classes with her, nor could I even eat lunch with her, as all grade levels ate separately.

Like Elise, I struggled with the transition due, in large part, to all of the unwritten rules that make up traditional education. While my experiences and Elise's were different, they still occurred; there were multiple instances of being corrected by the teacher for behavior because I hadn't known the "right" way to do things, and, like with Elise, the corrections were done loudly, in the middle of the class, where all of the other students could hear, see, and judge me for them. While I don't remember specific interactions with the other students, I do remember how some would use my inexperience and naivete to ensure that I was the butt of whatever joke they were playing at the time.

Unlike Elise, and likely my saving grace, was my introversion; I didn't really care about making friends. That sounds bad, but school was my job, and I was attending school to learn. At the same time, my extreme level of introversion (depending upon which test I take, I score anywhere from 90%-98% on the introversion scale) meant that I was perfectly happy to be left alone; interacting with other people took energy, too much energy at times, and I never really cared whether or not I was accepted into the social sphere of the school. As such, I could write off or ignore many interactions until the other students stopped their negative behavior. Some became acquaintances; some didn't. But I never experienced the extreme anxiety that Elise was feeling, and for that I am grateful. I bring up my own experiences here because Collins did such a wonderful job of bringing me, as the reader, into Elise's experiences; I felt what Elise was feeling and struggled alongside her. Without a support system at home, Elise was left to deal with her anxieties herself. In that situation, it is easy to understand why Elise would choose to stop speaking. Speaking words gets her into trouble because she is always saying to wrong thing; since she cannot say the right thing, the solution, obviously, is to not speak at all.

The mystery slowly revealed regarding Elise's mother's own story added so much color to Elise's story, and I found myself close to tears many times. While the focus of this story was Elise's anxiety, and the selective mutism she uses to try and deal with it, Collins is able to show how involved - how intertwined - the issues facing Elise and her mother can be. It's hard to talk about how her mother's own mental health issues play into Elise's anxiety without moving into spoiler territory - and I don't want to do that - but I do want to say that Collins' ability to illustrate the complexities of selective mutism with the care and acceptance she does is masterful.

In addition to Elise, who was a character that I could connect with in many ways despite not experiencing selective mutism, Collins created other characters who were well-developed. From Mel, who had known Elise prior to her selective mutism but who was struggling to reconcile her old friend Elise with the Elise she was now experiencing, to Sylvia, who gives in to her jealousy and continues to hold on to the slight that Elise didn't even know she was committing and uses that as an excuse to bully Elise for months, to Conn, who meets Elise where she is and, unlike everyone else, never once asks Elise to explain her muteness and accepts her just as she is - an acceptance that Elise isn't even aware of at first, but is incredibly thankful for once she does.

Collins' ability to weave this story with characters that are incredibly realistic, to draw the reader into the story and experience Elise's anxiety alongside her as she struggles to find her own voice, and then to offer up such a wonderful resolution at the end - this is a story that I will return to in the future, to experience its pain and its triumph. This is a story that is beautiful because of its pain, which shows the true strength of the human spirit.