Straight Through the Labyrinth, by Peter Rupert Lighte

[Ulysses]

Straight Through the Labyrinth (Becoming a Gay Father in China)
By Peter Rupert Lighte
Published by Acausal Books, 2022
Five stars

This is a dual-barreled story, being both a memoir of a gay man of the Boomer (i.e., my) generation, and the story of a gay couple becoming parents by adoption. The fact that the author, Peter Lighte, was the first single father in Hong Kong ever to adopt not one but two baby girls from mainland China just adds to the intrigue.

In this era of “own voices” writing, the emergence of well-written, compelling stories of gay men’s lives is hugely important. Everyone has a story, but not everyone can write theirs. Celebrities who have good stories can always pay someone to help them (like Elton John); but most of us can’t do that. This is why Peter Lighte’s new book on his journey to fatherhood as a gay man is so worth reading.

It’s not just that it’s well written, it is also filled with the passion and drive that seem to have touched every aspect of Lighte’s life, as he grew from a little Jewish boy from a broken home, to a high-level scholar of Chinese literature and culture, to establishing the first American bank in China. All through this remarkable life’s journey, Peter Lighte wanted to be a father. Finding himself, in his forties, in Hong Kong, with an English partner, he finally decided to make his dream come true. Twice.

The story of Lighte’s odyssey through China’s adoption bureaucracy is hair-raising and heart-breaking. I could not tell in reading his adventure whether he was aware of how much his own unique personality made his journey possible. Having become a father by adoption from China myself, I know without a doubt that my partner and I would never have made it through the labyrinth that Peter Lighte faced. This first-hand account of politico-cultural complexity brought tears to my eyes and exhausted me at the same time. Of course, Lighte was in a unique position in Hong Kong, and he made use of that position to bring his dream to life. I’m not sure he fully understands how heroic his story is. This story will resonate with anyone who has experienced international adoption. For those who have not (i.e. most people), it will help you understand the meaning of parenthood for those for whom it is not simply a given.

At the heart of this book is the heart of the author. It is the personal story that creates the emotional foundation for the adoption odyssey. Lighte’s candor, his openness, his self-awareness, all contribute to the reader’s understanding of the author’s drive to parenthood against all odds. In this historic time in our nation, this is the kind of story that reminds me of the good in the world.