Question F

[Jonetta]

Dan gets upset when Tracy agrees to investigate the cases. Was he being unfair, justified in his concerns or a bit of both? Your thoughts about his initial point of view?

[Robin]

I think the only reason he was upset was because she took time off work to bond with the baby, but took the job without evening discussing it with him. I don't think he was bothered that she wanted to work...he was bothered that she accepted the job before she discussed it with him. Tracy seems to have a habit of doing things without talking to her husband, then putting off coming clean because he may be upset about it.

[Sharon]

I thought that Dan came down rather hard on Tracy with his initial reaction to her taking the job. If I remember correctly, Dan knew that was what started problems in her first marriage. Tracy decided to get more information before making a decision and telling Dan.

Dan handled the whole situation badly, in my opinion.

[Sandra]

I understand why Dan got upset. Tracy's job is very, very dangerous and even though he knows it's who she is, I think a small part of him may have hoped she'd stay home for awhile. But bottom line, I think in this case, he's worried for Tracy because he doesn't want to lose her and he doesn't want their daughter to grow up without a mother. Having said that, I don't think he was upset to learn she'll return to work, but rather the way it went down in this moment. Both still need to work on communication.

[Robin]

Sandra wrote: "Both still need to work on communication."

I agree.

[Sharon]

I agree. Communication is a problem for this couple.

[Jonetta]

I thought he was unfair. It was her decision to make (he didn’t stop working because of the baby). She did discuss it with him and Dan made it clear his opinion was “no.” Tracy heard him out and felt differently. His initial opinion made her reluctant to talk to him about it after she made her decision. His response? He left town.

He disappointed me here.

[~Melissa~]

I really disliked this part of the book. I didn't like Dan's response to Tracy at all. After all, they had already agreed on getting a nanny - wth do you need one for if you are not ok with your wife going back to work??? I understand she was on her maternity leave, but it is still within her right to work if she so desires/decides. I also don't feel you can pull the dangerous job card either. Dan knew when he asked her to marry him that she was a detective with a dangerous job and he still knew this when they decided to attempt to get pregnant.

I'm with Jonetta - I was disappointed in Dan here.

[Jonetta]

Great points, Melissa. Why would his opinion weigh more heavily than hers?

[Charlene]

I thought Tracy was out looking for detective work, which bothered me, but I'm older than all of you (I assume) and why she didn't wait out the extra two months to get everything going well and moving back to Seattle did not strike me as a big sacrifice.

Having said that, Dan did finally come around to the realization that he was falling into her first husband's mindset. I didn't really think he had run away (at least not consciously), but they both should have discussed each decision together.

[Sharon]

What I like about this series and Dan and Tracy is their arguments are realistic. Many new couples hit these roadblocks that could make or break their relationship. Dan and Tracy are aware of their mistakes, even if it takes a day or two to talk it through.

[Jonetta]

It definitely had that authentic feel.