Question B

[Jonetta]

Tracy and Dan return to Cedar Grove while their home is under renovation and his case involving a Cedar Grove merchant requires onsite attention. Tracy is on maternity leave and bonding with her daughter. However, when Roy Calloway asks her to investigate Heather Johansen’s cold case murder, along with Kimberly Armstrong’s recent murder, her first instinct was to say yes, even though she’s yearning to stay home with Daniella. Describe what you think was going on with Tracy? How well does she represent other working mothers?

[Robin]

A lot of mothers are made to feel that they should stay home with their infants. Many are torn about going back to work. Some love their job. Others need the money. You don't see the same thing with men.

Tracy loves her job and has worked hard to get where she is. She doesn't want to give it up, yet feels like she should stay home with Daniella.

[Sharon]

It reminded me of the anxiety I felt when returning to work after my oldest was born. I was very young and needed to work. Just the same, I cried when I dropped my daughter off at the sitter's. My husband offered to get another job so I could stay home longer, but I knew that would limit our family time.

Tracy knows that Daniella will be her only child, most likely. It is an internal battle to do what is best for everyone in the family.

[Sandra]

Ditto. I also think Tracy needs to solve cases like she needs air to breath. She can't sit at home, but she does feel guilty about wanting to go back to work. Torn about leaving her daughter for "someone else" to raise. Yes, it's a dilemma too many women face.

[Jonetta]

After having so many women who worked for me agonize over work/parenting balance, I learned a lot. I never saw the fathers suffer the same angst and maybe that has something to do with women having a different connection after carrying children for nine months.

I also noticed that they weren’t immune to judgments expressed by those who believed mothers should stay at home. It was an ugly discourse and created an us versus them mentality. I hated hearing it and seeing working women made to feel even guiltier.

I respect those women who choose to stay at home after having children. I equally respect women who choose to continue their careers and raise families. There’s no right or wrong choice, just what’s right for the woman facing a choice.

I agree with Sandra that being a homicide detective is part of Tracy’s DNA. She shouldn’t have to choose, just make being a mother and a cop work. I don’t envy women having to decide.

I had one woman who worked for me who came back after her second child and was struggling. I asked her what she needed from me and it was a simple request…to adjust her hours. We didn’t have flex time policies but she was too good to lose. I just told her to work the hours she needed. All she wanted to do was come in earlier so she could get home earlier and spend quality time with her baby. Her attitude changed immediately.

This story seemed to perfectly capture the dilemma faced by Tracy. There were no right or wrong answers, just a decision she needed to make on her own.

[~Melissa~]

Definitely the dilemma many a new mom face. Anyway you look at it it is a hard decision to come to grips with. I think those that don't 'have' to to help support the family possibly have more guilt than those that need the money. Add in the well intentioned or not well intentioned others that chime in with their opinions of what you are doing and it is a -whole- nother heaping of guilt thrown onto the moms shoulders. Plus, for Tracy she has worked so hard to where she has gotten with her job and it's so much a part of who she is - I wasn't surprised when she jumped at the chance to work with Roy. Then we see her struggle with her decision - even though she's the one that made it. The struggle is real.

[Jonetta]

~Melissa~ wrote: "The struggle is real...."

In a nutshell.

[Charlene]

I have two daughters, and the three of us each made different decisions with respect to this topic. I had to make some quick attitude adjustments in one instance.

[Jonetta]

Charlene, there are no easy solutions.