Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight by M.E. Thomas

[Kelly]

Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Spent Hiding in Plain Sight by M.E. Thomas

Summary:
The first memoir of its kind, Confessions of a Sociopath is an engrossing, highly captivating narrative of the author's life as a diagnosed sociopath.
She is a charismatic charmer, an ambitious self-promoter, and a cunning and calculating liar. She can induce you to invest in her financial schemes, vote for her causes, and even join her in bed. Like a real-life Lisbeth Salander, she has her own system of ethics, and like Dexter, she thrives on bending and occasionally breaking the rules. She is a diagnosed, high-functioning, noncriminal sociopath, and this is her world from her point of view.
Drawn from the author's own experiences; her popular blog, Sociopathworld.com; and scientific literature, Confessions of a Sociopath is part confessional memoir, part primer for the curious. Written from the point of view of a diagnosed sociopath, it unveils for the very first time these people who are hiding in plain sight. The book confirms suspicions and debunks myths about sociopathy, providing a road map for dealing with the sociopath in your life.

My thoughts:

I have a lot of opinions about this book, so the “spoilers” are just hiding the bulk of my thoughts and I left the cliff notes of my points to be seen.

The reviews have a lot of complaints about the author’s ego. That’s fair, no one likes to hear someone brag, but I think they forgot she is a clinically diagnosed sociopath. (view spoiler)[No one will say, “I hate how *generic name* is so happy at one moment then depressed a few hours later,” because bipolar is not a disorder that displays symptoms of narcissism. Because this is the case, people feel personally attacked when the author says “I am smarter than you.” No one wants to hear that someone is better than them regardless of if it is true or not. (hide spoiler)]

Throughout the book, sociopath and psychopath are used interchangeably. They are two separate disorders even though the words sound very similar. (view spoiler)[I’m not sure if they didn’t look into the difference but I think it will confuse readers (not that they can’t keep them straight, but because they will now assume they are the same disorder). It was page 31 that the author specifically said that they are the same, but again, they are not. In the DSM5, they are both a type of Antisocial Personality Disorder so Sociopathy and Psychopathy are just more specific about what characteristics of APD a person is showing. A short way to explain, psychopaths tend to be more manipulative, can be seen by others as more charming, lead a semblance of a normal life, and minimize risk in criminal activities. Sociopaths tend to be more erratic, rage-prone, and unable to lead as much of a normal life. (hide spoiler)]

There is a concern for Psychiatrists, Psychotherapists, Psychologists, etc. that once they diagnose someone with a disorder, the patient leans into more of the symptoms than they weren’t originally showing. (view spoiler)[Meaning if they perform a behavior that is not socially accepted, they will reply with, “Well, it’s because I have this disorder.” Even if this was something they wouldn’t have done before they were diagnosed. As for this author, a lot of her reasonings were, “I did this because I’m a sociopath.” There was no talk about her doing this action because she believes it is the right choice for this reason. The sociopath diagnosis, in the later scenario, would be an afterthought. (hide spoiler)]

She also talks about her siblings who also seem to show sociopathic tendencies but have not sought a diagnosis. This can be a point that can argue that it is nurture that creates sociopaths. There's just no way that three out of four children are sociopaths just out of pure genetic “luck.”

Another contradiction that has bothered me is when in the beginning of the book she says (paraphrased) “we are not monsters we are just ‘normal people’ that lack empathy.” I agree with that, however (view spoiler)[towards the end of the book she says that she says that she doesn't know if she wants to have kids or not because she doesn't want to give birth to a “monster.” (hide spoiler)]

The beginning of her book she talks about how her father would frequently abuse her and how there was no love in their home. Whereas at the end of the book she wonders if she had a more “abusive household” and more of a “non loving home” that would be a more violent person. (view spoiler)[A direct "though I never suffered from trauma or abuse, my parents' own quirks of personality shaped who I am." The first hundred pages or so of the book are dedicated to her dad whipping them with his belt, breaking down doors to get to them, and other things that she even explained as abusive. (hide spoiler)]

I wasn’t a fan of how the author referred to the average person as “normal people.” (view spoiler)[There is no such thing as normal, only average. Even when reading statistics about men, women, or people in general they are written as “The average adult male…” or “The average female…” and so on. This is just a bother on my end because it was something that was drilled into me while taking psychology courses. (hide spoiler)]

I feel as though several people got together to write a book and only talked about the general idea that they were going for. Then they were separated without communication and tossed the pages together.

…

To turn to more about critiquing the book itself, there’s a lot of telling but not a lot of showing in the beginning of the book. (view spoiler)[Which may make sense and line up with the traits of a sociopath: they stick to the points of the matter rather than emotions and observations of it. I found it hard to enjoy those parts because it read like a textbook of “This is this because this article said so.” I was expecting more or a memoir set up like “This is how I discovered I am a sociopath and here are events on how I coped with learning this information.” There was also more of “Sociopaths think this way,” rather than “This is how I, as a sociopath, think.” (hide spoiler)]

The book should be told in reverse order. (view spoiler)[The beginning is about trauma and a lot more about sociopaths in general. Whereas the ending is getting to know her better like what she does for a living and different characteristics about her (like her accent and her tooth thing). I think that way it will build better as the book goes on and doesn't leave you getting more and more bored as you get to the end of the book as I did. (hide spoiler)]

Instead of having information scattered throughout the book, I think it would be better if ideas were grouped together. (view spoiler)[For example, she talks about gray matter in the brain three separate times. Each time she has to explain what gray matter is and all of that could be cut back for the reader just by talking about it once and digesting all the information in one sitting. I was to the point where I thought I was accidentally reading the same part over again. (hide spoiler)]

When she is talking about her contradicting statements, she seems to get the best part of each situation as long as it is her decision to do either or. (view spoiler)[Either she has no emotions and is above all for drama or she loves manipulating people to ruin their lives. Either she has never experienced any emotion that has helped her climb to where she is in her career, has no emotion that has gotten her fired from many jobs, or she has emotions and just doesn’t know how to process them so she is not lacking anything as a person. In every situation, she spins it so she is looked at being above all and that is part of being a sociopath, however you would think they would be aware that they are trying to say that red is the same color as blue. (hide spoiler)]

Overall, it was an interesting read that had me thinking a lot! There was more to my review but Goodreads said, "Nope. That's enough," so I cut back on the topics I wasn't as passionate about.