Query for my real issues picture book: My Mom Holds my Smile

[Michael]

Hello everyone. I would greatly appreciate any help with my query letter (I'm a little rusty). Thanks so much!

Dear Ms. XXXX;

I am contacting you after learning of your interest in picture books, as I believe my real issues picture book, MY MOM HOLDS MY SMILE, will be an excellent fit for your list. MY MOM HOLDS MY SMILE is complete at 350 words and follows Ella as she loses her smile after the death of her mother. Determined to be happy again, Ella looks for her smile in her mother’s old belongings, though it’s nowhere to be found.

MY MOM HOLDS MY SMILE will resonate with children aged 3–5 who are dealing with grief. It offers a light at the end of the tunnel approach to coping with loss. Comparable books are Missing Mommy: A Book About Bereavement by Rebecca Cobb, and The Rough Patch by Brian Lies.

I have self-published several children’s novels throughout my career (pseudonym M. Dane), and have completed the 5-week course Writing Picture Books, offered by Australian Writers’ Centre. Buoyed by positive reaction, I now seek an agent who will shepherd my intention with ease and a publisher under whose strong leadership this book—and future books—will thrive.

I have included the manuscript below for your convenience.

Thank you for your consideration,

[CaEdTique]

I think that is a superb query letter.

[Michael]

CE wrote: "I think that is a superb query letter."

Thanks you so much! This is so nice to hear :)

[Gifford]

Hi, Michael,

It's a very good letter & I especially like the comps you provided. There's one area I'm not sure about, though:

Buoyed by positive reaction, I now seek an agent who will shepherd my intention with ease and a publisher under whose strong leadership this book—and future books—will thrive.

Was the positive reaction to your previous books (in which case I'd mention the books' average ratings), or was it from other people in the course you took? Also, I'm not sure what "shepherd my intention with ease" means -- for me, it's too vague as I'm not sure what your intention is. And finally, if this is going to an agent, they know you want a publisher who will help you along, so I don't think that last part adds anything to query.

Since the rest of the query is so strong, I'd suggest you take a good look at that last section and make it more specific.

Best of luck!