Query feedback needed- YA Contemporary

[Megan]

Hey Aurora,

Doesn't look like you got any responses on this one. It's got some good points but it's a bit hard to understand and it feels to me like you're missing a coherent initial hook that explains what Aurora is doing and what the stakes are. My first thought on reworking that is something like this:

When 17yo Leah discovers a one-way ticket to Dublin from her late mother and a letter explaining that she will be housed in a nearly-ruined family castle, she is excited to live the life of the royals she loves to read about. However, she soon learns that…(explain roughly what the problem is going to be)

I think you have a bit too much detail across your plot paragraphs and need to rework and tighten everything up. Focus on character, conflict, and stakes...

[S. N]

Hi Aurora,
I agree with Megan. It feels like an overwhelming amount of information about the book and feels a bit too confusing to follow.
Try thinking about it like this:
Why is the story taking place?
What details can you give (without giving anything away) that surround the major plot points and climax that would entice a reader to pick up your book?
Why is this story taking place to begin with?
Best wishes!

[Aurora]

Hi Meghan, Hi Sarah, thank you for your valuable feedback and for giving me a direction to work upon. It means a lot to me.🙃