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Mack is listening to Welcome to Nightvale while doing schoolwork
message 301:
by
Bug Juice (you're washing my pain clean with love)
(new)
Sep 14, 2022 07:09PM
howre your day go naji
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QUOTES"all i can say is that the traumatized little boy version of me who moved strangely through the world and was emotionally neglected didn't just disappear because he got older. he's still here inside of me and he comes out more often than I realize. i was given so many names at birth that I can give him one and call my present sell another, and I take care of him, nurture him, parent him, and calm him down. he didn't deserve what he got and he is still inside of me and he always will be. i carry him with me and I love and protect him."
"sometimes people think they know you. they know a few facts about you, and they piece you together in a way that makes sense to them. and if you don't know yourself very well, you might even believe that they are right. But the truth is, that isn't you. That isn't you at all."
"just tell me what you saw this morning in two lines. I saw a water glass on a brown table cloth, and the light came through it in three places. No metaphor. And to resist metaphor is very difficult, because you actually have to endure the thing itself, which hurts us for some reason."
part one
Lady Lemonade wrote: "Bug Juice (I was a birdcage you were meant to fly) wrote: "howre your day go naji"Nights are shits
Days are long* but fine
You?"
I am a crystal vase on my grandmother's piano. The light shines through me but I am not the light. I am lit up but I am not the light. The rainbow comes through me but I am not the rainbow. The flowers sit in me, but I am not the flowers. The water sits in me, but I am not the water. The piano notes plink off of me, but I am not music. The reflections of love dance over me, but I am not love. I am just a crystal vase on my grandmother's piano.
Lady Lemonade wrote: "Your words always leave me speechless How do you do that? How is it so effortless for you?"
I spend too much time in my head
Lady Lemonade wrote: "14 by Clinton Kane came on :D"I FUCKING LOVE THAT SONG
Lady Lemonade wrote: "Tms:It’s not so hard anymore
Ur turn"
tms: I cant breathe without wondering why I have to keep existing
ur turn
I did a thingI'm a crystal vase on
my grandmother's piano
The light shines through me,
but I am not the light
I am lit up and shining,
but I am not the light.
The rainbow slides through me,
but I am not the rainbow.
The flowers sit in me,
but I am not the flowers.
The water sits in me,
but I am not the water.
The piano notes plink off me,
but I am not the music.
The reflections of love dance over me,
but I am not love.
The light shines through me,
but I am not the light.
I am just a crystal vase on my grandmother's piano.
Blank eyes and
a heart that's not quite cold
lukewarm blood not quite
rushing through my veins
a steady thump thump of a
tell-tale heart
surgically
precisely
unfeelingly cut out of my chest
I have snapped all the heartstrings
that tied me to you
You said you weren't angry
that we could still be friends but
I don't do anything half-assed
You of all people should know
I will be the best or
nothing
at
all.
You of all people should've known
when you told me to fuck off
it would be the last thing I did for you
I do nothing halfway.
Not even the burning of bridges
Not even isolation
You knew telling me to fuck off
you knew it would mean forever
Maybe you didn't mean it
but the strings are cut
I will be the best
You will be nothing at all.
Lady Lemonade wrote: "Oui et i showed it to you :D"yessiree you did
Lady Lemonade wrote: "I think the urges came backTms"
i am in love with this world but its killing ne
tms
how the hell do you do that?I- I’m literally speechless
how- how..?
Lady Lemonade wrote: "TmsNo we’re doing questions now
Ask me smth
Ams"
when you told me that you agreed with what I said were you just trying to to hurt my feeling
mary (betty’s version) wrote: "how the hell do you do that?I- I’m literally speechless
how- how..?"
I think too much
je ne suis pas ici. mais je suis avec toi, je pense,
i did another thing :Pwhen i was eight years old and
the world was crashing down around me
for the very first time
I got through by saying to myself
one day you will be eight years older
a year older than benjamin is
right now, and everything will make sense
again.
I will be eight years older in
eight months
eight days
eight hours
and eight minutes
but the sky still hasn't stopped falling
I don;t know if I can wait another eight years
Lady Lemonade wrote: "Are you ever going to tell me which ones are about me? Ams"
I don't remember how to do these so here's hoping I did em right
(view spoiler)
can we talk about not serious things? my soul is explodingams
whats ur favorite number
a very naji numberi musteth sleepeth
good morning buddies
gm actually good afternoon for yall
how yall doings todays
just failed a bio test wbu do u have a farmer nickname yet
macky mcmackerson
yes
pls this is so philosophical uoghoeahgoaihiajpdkjasdjadklhd
22.fuck summers.
14.
16.
“I’m caught in the crossfire, awaiting the day the corpse is my own.”
“I admit defeat before ever raising my sword.”
“You can’t water dead roses and expect them to come back to life.”
quotes.1.
“You're every street I've ever walked. You're the tree outside my window, you're a sparrow as he flies. You're the book that I am reading. You're every poem I've ever loved.”
2.
“Mom, why didn't anybody tell me that love hurt so much?"
"If I had told you, would it have changed anything?”
3.
“Stories were living inside us. I think we were born to tell our stories. After we died, our stories would survive. Maybe it was our stories that fed the universe the energy it needed to keep on giving life.
Maybe all we were meant to do on this earth was to keep on telling stories. Our stories—and the stories of the people we loved.”
4.
“Sometimes I think that I’m nothing but a lot of emotions all tangled up in my body and I don’t know how to untangle them.”
5.
“Sometimes you’ll feel the loneliness of exile. And sometimes you’ll feel the happiness of belonging.”
6.
“So much of me died. It took me a long time to feel alive again. Life, Ari, can be an ugly thing. But life can be so incredibly beautiful. It’s both. And we have to learn to hold the contradictions inside us without despairing, without losing our hope.”
7.
“But when I’m old, I don’t want to be asking myself if my life mattered. Because if I was just a decent guy, if I had just been a good man, then my life would have been a good life.”
8.
“You taught me how to swim in stormy waters--- Then you left me here to drown”
9.
“Not everyone you love is meant to stay in your life forever.”
10.
“When will we all get to be human, Dante?”
11.
“Now my head is cluttered with words and cluttered with love and cluttered with too many thoughts. I wonder if people like me ever get to know what peace is like.”
12.
“What was it about human beings that wanted to measure love as if it were something that could be measured?”
13.
“I didn’t understand people—and even though I was a person too, I lived far away from them.”
14.
“People won’t remember if you went to their son’s wedding—but they will remember if you weren’t at their mother’s funeral. Deep down, they’ll feel the hurt that you did not stand beside them when they needed you most.”
15.
I do remember thinking that the world had ended and wondering why I was still here, on this earth, in this world that had ended.”
16.
“I’ve never been this sad and I don’t know what to do and I just want to fucking hide somewhere and not come out until it stops hurting.”
17.
“It will be a long time before it stops hurting. But you’re not a possum. You can’t play dead.”
18.
“At that moment, I didn’t feel as if I had any tears left in me. I just sat there wishing I were a chair or a couch or a cement floor—anything inanimate—anything that didn’t feel.”
19.
“I don't get you."
"I don't get me either.”
20.
“Most of the rest of the world didn't see things the way we did. The world would look at that boy and that girl and smile and think, How sweet. If the world saw me and Dante doing the same thing, the world would grimace and think, Disgusting.”
21.
“I guess people can make you believe something is true if they use beautiful words, and it may sound beautiful, but that doesn’t mean it really is beautiful.”
22.
“I think I might get lost a hundred times, a thousand times, before I find out who I am and where I’m going.”
Lady Lemonade wrote: "14 and 16 of which list lol"second list
Lady Lemonade wrote: "Comment ça va aujourd’hui Je m’entraîne à parlé français"
i am shit, shit, shit, i breathe shit
how are you
quotes1.
“There used to be days that I thought I was okay, or at least that I was going to be. We'd be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think 'it will be okay if it can just be like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay just how it is forever.”
2.
“I was okay just a moment ago. I will learn how to be okay again.”
3.
“We were nostalgic for a time that wasn't yet over.”
4.
“I thought that it was more likely the opposite. I must have shut grief out. Found it in books. Cried over fiction instead of the truth. The truth was unconfined, unadorned. There was no poetic language to it, no yellow butterflies, no epic floods. There wasn't a town trapped underwater or generations of men with the same name destined to make the same mistakes. The truth was vast enough to drown in.”
5.
“The sun stopped shining for me is all. The whole story is: I am sad. I am sad all the time and the sadness is so heavy that I can't get away from it. Not ever.”
6.
“And I want to tell you about everything but I can't because I couldn't stand for you to have that look on your face all the time. I just need you to look at me and think that I'm normal. I just really need that from you.”
1.“If the ending is this painful, I don’t know if this was worth it all.”
2.
“You want to feel something. Something meaningful, and intense. You want to feel that thing in your heart and stomach. You want to be moved. To care about something, or fall in love, you know? And you want it to feel real. And different. And exciting.”
3.
“We stayed up all night talking about what we wanted to do ten years from now, waiting to see that burning red glow curve along a dark sky, oblivious to the significance of seeing another day. And oblivious to a future when one of us would be gone.”
good morning
sorry I'm regretting the things I cannot change and fucking up the things I can that's not very valedictorian poet musician mathematician jock popular boy of me
yeah ofc you can call me buggy :)sorry I'm avoiding ap atm
yeah out here living my best life and by that constantly feeling like I'm not good enough and I need to be better
idek where to start atp how are you rowen
Well currently atm i am avoiding ap because the two people I talked to on there were naji and the boy who will not be named. naji deleted her account and I am trying to forget that other person.It's less that I'm not satisfied and more that I'm scared that no one likes me, that I'm not enough, that maybe if I tried a little harder people would like me more. I don't think anyone likes me for who I am so I have to do good things for them to like me. And I didn't do enough good things recently and now I've hurt naji because I disappeared and i didn't do enough good things so the boy who wont be mentioned would have stayed and i wasn't good enough to keep my friends and i have to do better things. i have tricked anyone who has ever loved me into loving me and that either makes me a very good liar or a very unlovable person.
Yes, drink water. Also, go outside and stay in the sun for a little while. After that, make sure that you have exercised or moved around a little bit. Maybe go for a walk. Eat some food, not things like carbs, eat an apple or something. Drink a lot of water. Also make sure that you interact with some humans in real life. If you still feel bad, take a shower. It wont make everything better, but you might feel lighter. If you can't do all of those things, do some of them.
I am looking out the window on the car ride home. Good things have happened, and maybe good things will happen again, but they are done for now. I am not sad, bad things are not happening, it's just that a good thing is over. I will sleep soon and I will rest, and a new day will begin in the morning. The good day is over, and maybe tomorrow will be a good day, but I am looking out the window and i have been looking out the window for weeks now. I am tired and ready to sleep. I am ready for tomorrow. I am ready for another good day. I am ready to rest. I need a break. I am looking out the window on the car ride home.
I love y'all but I need to sleep it's been a long day and I'm tired n I gotta be up in 4 hours
good morning soupsters
Lady Lemonade wrote: "Mmam?It’s an acronym, if you can decipher this, te amo
It’s another thing we used to say all the time"
you and mary? or all of us?
mmam hmmmmmum
I really don't know
private message me it
what color are you guys today?
Lady Lemonade wrote: "Mmam?It’s an acronym, if you can decipher this, te amo
It’s another thing we used to say all the time"
AGHH
I have no idea
Bug Juice (I was a birdcage you were meant to fly) wrote: "what color are you guys today?"gray
like foggy gray
what about you?
Oh shiz naji yeah I'll myam
mmam naji?
and Mary, I'm gray like the color lucky charms melts to in the milk
Bug Juice (I was a birdcage you were meant to fly) wrote: "and Mary, I'm gray like the color lucky charms melts to in the milk"that sounds like a very bleh color
biology is my fave i'm in honors now and ap next year 😢u know what actually sucks?
hehe im a terrible person and i am everything I swore I wouldn't be fuck me with a knife
