Lily’s Random Thoughts

[[deleted user]]

i've made it to chapter 29, so i'm nearly done editing. thank goodness. its very surprising to think it only took me 3 months to write

[[deleted user]]

mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "<3

if you’d like to read some of mine you can lol"

ooh yes please!

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "i've made it to chapter 29, so i'm nearly done editing. thank goodness. its very surprising to think it only took me 3 months to write"

omggg really?
that’s insane
I’ve been writing for like 2 months and I’m only like 40 pages in lol

[[deleted user]]

its because i was in lockdown doing online learning so i had A LOT of spare time

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "<3

if you’d like to read some of mine you can lol"

ooh yes please!"

I’m working on one rn because I had an idea, but here’s a recent one lol :)

“pretend”

always playing pretend,
until the very end.
always like a little barbie doll,
standing so perfect and tall.
but what happens when I fall?
what happens when I break,
and you have to pick up all the pieces in my wake?
what happens when the numbness overtakes,
and becomes a burden I can’t shake?
what happens when I can no longer play pretend,
when there’s nothing left of me to mend?

maybe if I just stuff it all down,
a little further.
maybe if I don’t drown,
always keeping my head above the water.
maybe if I’m found,
no longer lost in the abyss.
then maybe I can play pretend,
maybe I can hang onto a wish.

a wish that it’ll get better,
that I won’t fall,
I won’t break,
leaving all the pieces for you to pick up in my wake.
the numbness won’t overtake,
becoming a burden I can’t shake.
I’ll always be able to play pretend,
especially when there’s nothing left of me to mend.

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "its because i was in lockdown doing online learning so i had A LOT of spare time"

ooohhh yes yes trueeee

[[deleted user]]

mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "Lily :) wrote: "mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "<3

if you’d like to read some of mine you can lol"

ooh yes please!"

I’m working on one rn because I had an idea, but here’s a rece..."


that is so good, i actually felt like it was also true to me as well. like what it made me think of is how i'm always trying to be the person holding everyone togehter, pretending i'm fine evn though i'm not. like if i don't then i and everyone else will fall. i feel like i need to be the person who picks people up and just accept the things that happen because i don;t want to make something else happen. i want to let people see what i'm actually feeling but i can't becuase its just too far from what i pretend i am. im not sure if thats what its about but that is kind of my interpretation.

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "Lily :) wrote: "mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "<3

if you’d like to read some of mine you can lol"

ooh yes please!"

I’m working on..."

thank you <3
yeah exactly, it’s like pushing all your emotions down a little bit further each time they start to resurface, because you can’t break
you have to be fine
always

[[deleted user]]

exactly.
i feel like none of my friends really understand that
its good to have someone who does

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "exactly.
i feel like none of my friends really understand that
its good to have someone who does"

<3
I’m here for you lily

[[deleted user]]

mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "Lily :) wrote: "exactly.
i feel like none of my friends really understand that
its good to have someone who does"

<3
I’m here for you lily"

same here <3
maybe i won't understand everything, but will try :)

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "Lily :) wrote: "exactly.
i feel like none of my friends really understand that
its good to have someone who does"

<3
I’m here for you lily"

same h..."

thank you <33
do you wanna read the one I just wrote? it’s very…. heavy

[[deleted user]]

sure! i dont mind

[[deleted user]]

oooh i just had a really good idea. i'm going to have one of my characters writing poems in between each cahpter. she's been outcasted and shes all alone in the wild. she might die at the end of the 2nd book... hmmmm i'm gonna think abut that one

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "oooh i just had a really good idea. i'm going to have one of my characters writing poems in between each cahpter. she's been outcasted and shes all alone in the wild. she might die at the end of th..."

OHH YESSSS

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "sure! i dont mind"

okay…. I warned you lol
tw: ab*se

“coats of paint”

through all the coats of paint,
the memories still don’t fade.
with all the cherished memories we share,
the awful one’s are still there.
bleeding through the walls like blood,
seeping through all the built up love.

I remember when this room was green,
your hands around my throat,
that was quite a seen.
now it’s been painted white,
but you don’t put up a fight.
I stare at that corner for too long,
and even through all the coats of paint,
that memory is not gone.

I try to appreciate the things you do,
the fancy things you buy.
but that doesn’t mean all the bad things suddenly fly.
that doesn’t make them okay,
it doesn’t make the memories go away.
no matter how many coats of paint you add to these walls,
I will always feel small,
in this house.
I will always feel like I have to be as quiet as a mouse.
no matter what good things you do,
the bad will always overtake,
and this smile is something I will always have to fake.

these nice words you say,
will never make the pain go away.
no matter how much you say “I love you,”
I will always be just a cunt,
a bitch,
a piece of shit,
worthless,
nothing.
these words will always bleed through the walls like ink,
being right there with every word I think.

and these coats of paint,
they will never make the memories fade.
no matter how many cherished memories we share,
the awful one’s will always be there.
bleeding through the walls like blood,
seeping through all this built up love.

[[deleted user]]

oh... wow thats really strong. is it about something that has happened to you?

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "oh... wow thats really strong. is it about something that has happened to you?"

yeah lol

[[deleted user]]

you are really good at writing poems!

[[deleted user]]

i've finally finished editing

[[deleted user]]

hooray! now i can write the sequel

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "you are really good at writing poems!"

thank you <33

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "i've finally finished editing"

yayyyyy

[[deleted user]]

is this a good poem? i don't realy think it is- doesn't have much feeling
i wrote it for that character i was talking about, the one who got outcasted:

Alone

I’ve never been this alone.
Even when I couldn’t bear it
I still had a place to call home.

Now it's just me
Maybe before i would have felt free
But no, that's not how it will be

I had people who cared
For the first time in a year
Now they’re all but dead.

How can I stay,
Alone, waiting,
Day after day?

Why did they leave?
What did I do wrong?
Nothing, I know,
But I can't quite believe.

[[deleted user]]

and this one:

Flashes

I see light in the distance,
I wonder what it was
And how I could have missed it.

Flashes of glowing magic,
I saw someone die today.
Best word for it: tragic.

Memories, glimpses of the past
I wish all those good times
Were the ones that would last.

How will I survive?
I have no home
Nowhere to hide.

Those flashes remind me
Of everything I'm missing
And how I had to flee.

[[deleted user]]

and this one:

Hunger

6 days without food
Without water too
It’s affecting my mood

I’m a terrible poet
Maybe i’m too hungry
At least I know it.

These words in the sand
Scratched by a stick
That i hold in my hand

The only part of me
That I will leave behind,
I haven’t even seen a tree

This is so random
I think it's because
My brain is scrambled

Those last lines don’t even rhyme
Oh well.
Maybe I'm nearing my time.

[[deleted user]]

ok im just posting random poems. who cares.

I’m Not Dead

Yay.
I found food.
It’s the best day.

My poetry hasn’t got better
That's just me,
This is my letter
(to the world)

I think i’ve lost my mind
But in this terrible place,
The sand seems to be kind

That doesn’t make sense
I’m going crazy
It would be good to see some nice gents

I’m not dead… yet
But if i keep like this
It might be a regret.

[[deleted user]]

i've been on my laptop all day. i need a lunch break. its past 2 o'clock. ill be back soon

[[deleted user]]

i'm back. my dig keeps barking. its very annoying.

[[deleted user]]

oops. i mean my dog

[[deleted user]]

i feel like writing another poem. i don't know. it will be about my best friend i think

[[deleted user]]

now for some reason im in a very poemy mood.

[[deleted user]]

actually, do you want to see a poem i wrote when i was 8?

[[deleted user]]

Lily :) wrote: "i feel like writing another poem. i don't know. it will be about my best friend i think"

I lied. its just another one for my story. oh well. i'll write one for my best friend now

[[deleted user]]

but this is the one i wrote:

Family

I once had a family
They died.
Now I have a new one.

Family isn’t blood
It’s a type of love
That can be shared through a hug

My friends and I are one
Or in my eyes at least,
To me they are the sun.

I’m so lucky to have them
What other people saw as waste,
They saw me as a gem.

I would be lost without
My family by my side
I’d die for them without a doubt

[[deleted user]]

i feel like i'm posting to no one. this is the 13 message i've written and got no answer. oh well, someone will read it soon enough. i should probably stop rambling. just gonna go write that poem. see ya later

[[deleted user]]

this is really random but i hear Overpass Graffiti by Ed Sheeran on the radio every single day since it came out. sometimes twice a day. I HAVE GOT TO STOP RAMBLING! ok, i'm actually gonna write that poem now. i'll post when i'm done :p

[[deleted user]]

thank you so much! (my pronouns are she/her) that really makes me a lot more confident in myself :)

[[deleted user]]

thanks <3

i just wrote one for my friend. it doesn't sound very good, i think it would be easier to write a paragraph or something. oh well- this is it if anyone wants to read it lol:
You don’t know how much you mean to me,
Because I don’t have the right words.
But with you, I feel free.
Memories with you are like pearls.

You are magic, fun and kind,
The best person I know.
You seem to read my mind
And I don’t know what I’d do if you were to go.

You stand by me, though everything
Thick, thin, good and bad,
I would give you my entire being
And you’ve never once made me mad!

You are a pillar, sturdy in rough sea
You say the right things
To get through to me
With you, I have wings

I know nothing could say how i feel
The right way they should,
And through every ordeal,
You make me feel understood.

[[deleted user]]

Error —hiatus— wrote: "Lily :) wrote: "and this one:

Hunger

6 days without food
Without water too
It’s affecting my mood

I’m a terrible poet
Maybe i’m too hungry
At least I know it.

These words in the sand
Scratched ..."

haha thats good. i was/ am feeling like i'm loosing my mind when i wrote it. its just random thoughts that rhyme lol

[[deleted user]]

Ok, im gonna go now. My laptop is dead. Hopefully everyone reading this has a good day/night. I’ll probably be back later but not like before

[mary (betty’s version)]

Error —hiatus— wrote: "mary (smash the patriarchy, sweetheart) wrote: "Lily :) wrote: "sure! i dont mind"

okay…. I warned you lol
tw: ab*se

“coats of paint”

through all the coats of paint,
the memories still don’t fad..."

thank you najeth🥺
but like, SAYS YOU
the queen of poetryyyy

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "and this one:

Hunger

6 days without food
Without water too
It’s affecting my mood

I’m a terrible poet
Maybe i’m too hungry
At least I know it.

These words in the sand
Scratched by a stick
That ..."

I LOVE THIS ONE
STOP
JHGGHGYUYGTFR

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "actually, do you want to see a poem i wrote when i was 8?"

YES

[[deleted user]]

Ok

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "but this is the one i wrote:

Family

I once had a family
They died.
Now I have a new one.

Family isn’t blood
It’s a type of love
That can be shared through a hug

My friends and I are one
Or in ..."

AWWWW!! <333

[[deleted user]]

Just need to find it

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "thanks <3

i just wrote one for my friend. it doesn't sound very good, i think it would be easier to write a paragraph or something. oh well- this is it if anyone wants to read it lol:
You don’t kn..."

i love it <33

[mary (betty’s version)]

Lily :) wrote: "Ok"

YYYYYYAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY

[[deleted user]]

Ok, here it is:

Dogs Are Taking Over the World

As I look out of the house,
I expected to see a mouse,
With its scratchy claws,
And tiny little paws.
But strangely instead,
When I got up out of bed…

I saw millions of dogs,
Riding up on hogs,
No, really I mean it,
You would've laughed if you had seen that bit…

Dogs were taking over the world!
That made my brain all fuzzy and curled,
“If ya need a pee go on a tree”,
Barked the dog that was closest to me.
“No! Not with everyone looking, gee!”

“The way you make us suffer,
Your brains must've had a buffer!
Not that you will ever know,
Now excuse me but I need to go.”

Rather grandly the dog ran inside a house,
As quickly as a grouse,
As we all watched in awe,
The dog said, “you think we don't know what a toilets for?”

“Food time” said another,
Quite obviously his mother,
TINNED DOG FOOD!
This dog must be in a bad mood.

This rant, I found,
Is really good for a hound:
“Ya don’ treat us with respect
To you were just a pet
You dress us in a bow
And you really don't know
How to be nice
You want us to catch mice
An’ It seems you feed us lice
Your rude!
Your selfish!
Your plain unkind!
If you think you can put us on that cruel, mean bind
Clipped on rings around our necks
And all you do is give us checks!
Now so you can feel it too
Were gonna do it to you!”

That last part, I admit was a bit scary,
Considering the dog was called Mary!
We run and hide,
We hitch a ride.
Anything, anything to get us away
But then, remember that's only today…