Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay by Elena Ferrante - 3 stars

[Joy D]

Those Who Leave and Those Who Stay by Elena Ferrante - 3* - My Review

In the third book of the Neapolitan quartet, we follow main characters Elena and Lila into their thirties, as they develop livelihoods and rear children. Set in the 1960s-1970s Italy, this book contains more about the political climate of the era, including violent clashes between the communists and fascists. Elena and her relationships are the primary focus of this storyline with intermittent appearances by Lila.

It is a family saga filled with unpleasant people, dysfunctional relationships, and questionable decisions that complicate their lives. There are many scenes from daily life – conversations around the dinner table, phone conversations, and lots of chit-chat. Many say this is a story of female friendship, but it is not affectionate or supportive, and, in fact, seems pretty toxic. The romantic relationships are almost all toxic as well. I came away with a lukewarm feeling, but I am out of step with the numerous readers who love this series. I liked it enough to read the final installment.

[Jen K]

Great review! I wrote a slightly more frustrated review on this one. I really dislike all the characters but still starting #4 this weekend. This one ended horribly and I need to see how the terrible decision explodes on her.

[Joy D]

Thanks! I know what you mean. Even though I've given 3 stars to the 1st 3 books, I have to know how this train wreck ends (haha). She seems to be her own worst enemy. I guess there are lots of people who make bad decisions, but these people are so horrible to each other, I am astonished that so many people love it. Obviously, I am just not "getting" whatever it is that appeals to others so much.

I love what you said in your review and totally agree: "Finally I just can't with Nino. He is so awful and destructive and I can't understand how he is still the ultimate prize to win."

[Jen K]

Agreed! I think Ferrante writes well but I don't get the magic either sadly. I do need to see how it all goes down at this point though. They are survivors no matter how much they destroy each other and themselves.

[Olivermagnus]

I finished the first book last week and didn't care for it that much. I'm going to cut my losses after reading this thread. I don't care enough about the characters and the ending at this point, so why prolong the agony when there are so many great books left for me to read.

[Joy D]

That's probably for the best, OM, if you didn't love the first one. The others are more of the same.

I have sunk so much time into it, I feel the need to find out how it ends.