Writing Exercise #1 - Five Seconds

[Glen]

1. Write a short scene that captures an intense moment from your life: i.e. a first kiss, a rejection, a moment of fear.
2. The scene should take no longer than five seconds. You will be writing about a very small segment of time.
3. Rather than moving the action forward, concentrate on slowing the action down and moving the action inward. The key here is to keep yourself from racing ahead. Focus on those five seconds.

[C.S.]

Should we post our work here or email our efforts? What will work best for you in the long run, Glen?

[Glen]

The original idea was to post here. That way everyone could benefit and make comments. But I'm not sure how lengthy of comments the thread will accept.

Let's try to post here. If it doesn't work (if it won't accept or only posts partially), email it to me at robinson@swau.edu.

gr

[C.S.]

I will give this a try. It is based on a true happening.

My mind seizes at the concentrated malevolence of the thing racing toward me. Impossible evil. I try to draw in breath. No time. Lungs labor to overcome the binding pressure. I gasp. My throat-shredding scream echoes through the car as I duck down and cower behind the metal door.

[Glen]

Good start. Focus on the details. Stretch it out even more. Make each second seem like an eternity.

[Glen]

Here's my try:

I find myself gazing into her eyes, her face impossibly close to mine. Her breath is sweet and full on my face. I am torn: what do I do? Do I kiss her? Is that what she wants? Is that what I want? And then the six inches between us becomes three, then one, and then we meet. Our lips touch slightly, for the first time, as if in shy greeting. Ah, there you are. I have seen you from a distance and wanted to get to know you for forever. The taste is of strawberries. The sensation is electricity flowing through my young body. My body tenses as my entire focus is on a three square inch of me that now touches another person. It is more than a greeting. It is a moment that will change both of our lives. Somehow we know that it is special. Somehow we know we have crossed a threshold to a new part of our lives.

[C.S.]

Nice, Glen! I misunderstood. Thought it needed to be short. I’ll try again.

[C.S.]

Okay, here's my second attempt. I tried to stretch what I had done previously.


Time stretches as the surreal milky-white orb that had mesmerized us by appearing and disappearing bursts with impossible speed from the shattered, second story window of the abandoned barn. Shadows form within it creating the light and dark contours of a face as it races at me. My mind seizes as the concentrated malevolence of the thing now hovering at the passenger window seeks entry into my very spirit. Impossible evil. I try to draw in breath, lungs labor to overcome the binding pressure. I gasp, my body shudders. A scream echoes through the car—torn out from my throat at the horror of what is happening. I collapse and cower behind the solid door beneath the window. Did that thing get inside me? Am I possessed?

[Glen]

Great. Well done. You can see how these instances can come up and be beneficial at times. In the book I just finished, there was a five-second window where a lawyer is pulling a gun out of a briefcase in order to shoot his client. He's being observed through an observation window by two other people, who shout for help. Slowing down the action really helps in these circumstances.

[C.S.]

Thanks for sharing this. It's a good exercise. I look forward to seeing what others write.

[Marie]

Are we going to criticize each other's work? If people will criticize what I write, then I think this could be quite helpful to me. Otherwise I want to spend my limited writing time on a different project.

[Glen]

There will be a limited amount of critiquing, yes, Marie. I hope that we can get several people involved in the exercises to make it more interesting and valuable.