Cora

[Barbara]

I wanted to shake some sense into her. Mothers should always put their children first.

[Maxine]

I believe it is a combination of love and fear. Many women in the past did not have the skills to support her family alone , and even today this is not easy. A partner, even an abusive one can offer some support.

[Michelle]

A super complicated issue, to be sure. We’ve been conditioned to accept that we’re not to judge the women who cannot or will not extricate themselves from these relationships, but it’s super difficult. Just consider how dangerous it is right now for police officers who are called to the scenes of domestic abuse, often on a repeat basis. I agree with Barbara, though. In Cora’s case, it was said to be love to the level of addiction, but at some point one’s child needs to come first—-and it took Cora too long to reach that point. Did anyone else read Bastard Out of Carolina by Dorothy Allison? There again, a mother stays with an abusive man at the expense of her young adolescent daughter, in this case to worse effect.

[Michelle]

And yes, as Maxine said, it’s a combination. Often a woman feels trapped, with no way out financially, with feeling that family and friends will side with the man, that he has all the power, that she might lose her children, that her situation would be worse, especially in the short run. Most of this did not apply to Cora, however. She would have had support on many levels. Waiting for that ultimate breaking point is frustrating for those who would wish to help—Tom Walker and Large Marge, in Cora’s case. As with an alcoholic, everyone is forced to wait until the victim is ready to take the first step on her own.

[Retta]

Trevor that was a question I asked myself when I read that statement in the book? Cora/Coraline was raised in a highly educated wealthy class in Seattle, Washington. Cora was an only child whose parents gave her a very comfortable life, but Cora was definitely that 60's and 70's rebellious teenager who wanted to be free of anything that was the Establishment. I know some of us remember these times. Coraline did not want the life her parents expected her to follow according to their rules. So Cora set out to find someone that was part of the cultural revolution and she found Ernt. Cora really could not completely rid of her social status upbringing so she allowed herself to experiment and experience Buddism, commune life, and yoga enough to feel she was one of the 70s cultural devotees. Cora's weakness was her inability to look at the safety and protection of Leni in the present and future until it was Leni being physically battered by Ernt. Cora lived in the moment of life happenings and not life realities.
Abuse and co-dependence of the abuser is a frequent prevailing behavior exhibited by the abused. Cora's allowed physical battering more out of fear than love.

[Michele]

I agree with everyone else. There were many reasons Cora decided to stay. She was afraid of what Ernt would do if they left, afraid to go back home and prove that her parents were right about Ernt. Also, she loved him and thought that would be enough to make him change. How many times did she mention he was sick and needed their support? I also wonder if on some level she felt Ernt’s abuse and anger was his way of showing love? If I recall correctly, at one point Leni mentions that her mom would intentionally aggravate Ernt, to make him jealous, because she needed him to prove how much he loved her. Not a healthy definition of love by any stretch of the imagination.

Also, just on a side note, did anyone else feel heartbroken for Cora’s parents? They seemed like such loving and supportive people. They gave Cora money when she needed, took Cora and Leni in after Alaska. They helped care for Cora during her sickness and helped raise their great-grandson. And then Leni just left them. I understand she wanted to be with Matthew and for her son to know his father but I felt like Cora’s parents just kept being pushed aside after all they did. It made me angry, lol.

[Michelle]

Good points, Michele. We were meant to believe that they only cared about appearances, that it was Cora’s besmirching their standing in society that powered their objections. But which of us would have wanted to watch our daughter chuck away her future to run off with the likes of Ernt? Ultimately, they were willing to risk everything, including a possible prison sentence for harboring fugitives, in order to protect their offspring.

[Katie]

For me, Ernt's way of isolating Cora from family, friends, & acquaintances while deriding her family and former life-style resonated. It doesn't seem likely given all the love available to Cora but I'm living proof of how powerful that manipulation is. It works particularly well if there is a lot of self-doubt as your personal foundation. We aren't told that about Cora, so I don't know. She was addicted to him though!

I thought of Cora's parents all through the book.