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Allison x Sav
message 651:
by
allie
(new)
Dec 31, 2021 05:59PM
After a moment he pulls away, but before he pulls away completely he kisses the cheek that he had slapped. He had noticed it wasn't at all red anymore and it had been that way since the Clue game, so he hoped it wouldn't hurt.
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She smiles, just barely at him. He didn't care if she wasn't kissing him like normal. Whatever, she thought.
He smiled too. He knew she hadn't been kissing him like normal. He knew he had messed up, bad, in the bathroom earlier and it would take a long time for her to seemingly relax fully with him. He hated it, but knew he deserved it. He had violated her trust by his comment.
She's still smiling but on the inside thoughts are attacking her
He doesn't care about you.
He wants a normal, easy girlfriend.
You disgust him.
You're a whore and a slut and you deserve whatever hell is dished to you at school tomorrow.
Why are you still here?
This doesn't bother him.
He just wants to control you.
He doesn't care about you.
He wants a normal, easy girlfriend.
You disgust him.
You're a whore and a slut and you deserve whatever hell is dished to you at school tomorrow.
Why are you still here?
This doesn't bother him.
He just wants to control you.
"Hey, at least tomorrow is Saturday. We don't have to deal with everyone." He said after a moment, looking up at her, knowing she would be happy about that.
She tries to smile the smile he loves and says, "I'm going to the bathroom, be right back."
Delaying the inevitable
Doesn't matter, we're awkward.
He's trying too hard.
Why does he care?
I have no words for him.
He says he knows me, yet he can't see this?
Yep, we're going to the bathroom to throw that food up.
Yep, we're also going to cry.
Delaying the inevitable
Doesn't matter, we're awkward.
He's trying too hard.
Why does he care?
I have no words for him.
He says he knows me, yet he can't see this?
Yep, we're going to the bathroom to throw that food up.
Yep, we're also going to cry.
He nods and smiles back, squeezing her hand before she walked off.
She goes to the bathroom, gasping against the vanity. The tears start streaming immediately and she feels ashamed. Her stomach is turning and turning and she falls on her knees and sticks her fingers down her throat. Everything she's eaten comes out and she lays on the bathroom floor sobbing ((once again XD)) thinking:
You'll never be able to trust him again.
He thinks you just want to fuck him and leave.
Why would I eat food when the only reason I've been eating is him.
You won't survive without him.
It kills me when he doesn't see my pain.
He's not able to fix this.
I'm broken and pieces are missing, I'm unfixable.
Until she decides she can face him.
She gets up, washes off her face, blows her nose, flushes the toilet and washes her hands before returning to him.
You'll never be able to trust him again.
He thinks you just want to fuck him and leave.
Why would I eat food when the only reason I've been eating is him.
You won't survive without him.
It kills me when he doesn't see my pain.
He's not able to fix this.
I'm broken and pieces are missing, I'm unfixable.
Until she decides she can face him.
She gets up, washes off her face, blows her nose, flushes the toilet and washes her hands before returning to him.
Liam knew something was wrong. After waiting about five minutes(he missed her puking) he ran to the bathroom. He banged and banged on the door, yelling her name repeatedly, but she didn't hear him because of her sobbing. "Skylar!" He tried again, "Please! Open the door!" He was freaking out. She was in the bathroom crying, sobbing, and she wasn't saying anything. What if she had hurt herself? Why did he wait so long? Maybe he could've stopped her. He tried again, "Skylar, please!" After a moment he heard the sink run and the toilet flush.
She opens the door, seeing him distraught, she flinches.
"Ohmygod," he said, he had been crying, he was so worried. He hugged her tightly. "I heard you crying, you wouldn't answer me. I didn't know what was.. I thought you.." He cried into her shoulder.
She's stiff against him, not knowing how to deal with his physicalness and worry, knowing what she'd just done, knowing what she'd been thinking.
He feels her stiffness and backs away, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have. I just, you were acting different at the table and then you left and you sounded distant and off. Then I heard you crying and you didn't answer- I was worried about you, I didn't know what was happening." He realized he was rambling and shut himself up.
She looks down, shaking. "You broke my trust and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't just be fine. I don't trust you. I don't trust you not to push me away again. So, I kissed you politely. Like we had our first time. I didn't kiss you how I kiss YOU. You didn't care. I went in there and I made myself throw up. I eat for you and why should I hurt myself by eating if you don't even care? You're physical with me when you feel like it and-" her voice breaks, "I don't trust you not to push me away again." She's still shaking uncontrollably.
"Skylar," he whispered, "You think I don't notice stuff like that? I know I messed up but I am not perfect. If you think I don't care about tha- if you don't think I care about you, then you really don't know me as well as I thought you did." He shook his head and ran a hand through his hair. He sighed, "Maybe," He shook his head again and trailed off, not finishing his thought.
"Why didn't you say something. Do something. Your quiet way of things is one of the reasons I love you, but I needed you to do something say something. I do know you I can't believe you just said that." She pauses thinking when she yells, "MAYBE WHAT?" fearing the worst.
She hears Lillian running towards them, but looks at her, stopping her from saying anything, she needed to know what Liam was going to say.
She hears Lillian running towards them, but looks at her, stopping her from saying anything, she needed to know what Liam was going to say.
"Maybe," he continued, crying, "we need to," he coughed a little into his hand, "Maybe we need to take a break. Not breaking up, but, Skylar," he shook his head, "You were crying on the bathroom floor. You're yelling, we're fighting
again
. I love you, but I think we need some time apart."
She walks away, right into Lillian, where she collapses into her arms sobbing.
Lillian hugs her back, whispering into her ear, "It's okay." Repeatedly. She leads her upstairs to the master suite and kicks Jackson out with a glare. She sits her on the bed and holds Skylar, letting her cry all over her.
She's still crying uncontrollably, hiccuping. "He's doing this because I'm crying because I don't trust him. It's him. A FUCKING BREAK," she roared, angry over the unfairness of it all. "I'm hurting and he breaks up with me. Who does that? I don't trust him. I don't trust him because he pushed me away, made me feel like a slut and am hurting and HE BREAKS UP WITH ME? WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT?" she screams.
Liam wanted to go in there and yell back at her. Tell her how she's wrong. All he did was misinterpret something. HE MADE A MISTAKE. HE WAS NOT PERFECT. What was he doing anyways? It had only been a day since they met. Why on Earth were they going this fast? He shook his head, he never should've said that he loved her too. Then none of this shit would be happening. They would probably be flirting over text or some shit. He still cared about her, he did. He knew that he should've talked more, communication is key and all that shit. Well, maybe if he felt like he could talk to her and not feel like he had to be careful around her all the fucking time, it would be easier. But no. He isn't allowed to be scared AND VOICE THAT FEAR without being given the cold shoulder. She knew he wasn't trying to call her a slut or a whore or so he thought she did. It turned out, they didn't know two shits about each other. Maybe if he would've known there would be this much drama, he never would've kissed her in the classroom yesterday. Liam stormed out of the house and slammed the front door, he needed to get outside to the fresh air. Did he actually love her, or did he just love the idea of loving her?((yk, i was gonna leave it at that, but i like lillian too much lmao))
Lillian nodded and let her scream it out. She knows what Skylar was going through and she hated it. They had only known each other for two days, but she cared about her as much as she cared for Liam. Skylar was becoming a daughter to her. "I know sweetie, I know."
Skylar hears the door slam and bursts out of the house right after him and says, "wait," quietly knowing her yelling upset him.
((IT HAS BEEN 3 DAYS STUPID))
Liam turned around, his tears running down his face.
Sav wrote: "((IT HAS BEEN 3 DAYS STUPID))"((NUH HUH))
She looks down, afraid to look at him, "I know. I know that I need to let you talk to me. So, I'll shut up. Scream at me, get it out. You can't stand there with those demons. They're killing you, it's all over your face."
Allison wrote: "Sav wrote: "((IT HAS BEEN 3 DAYS STUPID))"
((NUH HUH))"
YES IT HAS.
WAIT
IT'S BEEN 2
((NUH HUH))"
YES IT HAS.
WAIT
IT'S BEEN 2
"All I did," he started, his voice low and even, "was misinterpret something. I messed up. I am not perfect." He kept his voice steady, not going to scream at her. "I still care about you and I know that I should've talked more. But, I didn't feel like I could talk to you without feeling like I had to be careful around you all the time. Am I not allowed to be scared and voice that fear to you? Will I just be given the cold shoulder and snide remarks every time? I thought you knew I wasn't trying to call you a slut or a whore." He took a breath, he was slightly surprised he had said all of that in an even voice. He was screaming in his brain.
Sav wrote: "Allison wrote: "Sav wrote: "((IT HAS BEEN 3 DAYS STUPID))"((NUH HUH))"
YES IT HAS.
WAIT
IT'S BEEN 2"
((YEAH YOU DUMBO))
She feels faint, but she holds strong, needing him to see that she can handle whatever he throws at her. "I know you're not perfect. I know that to you it was one small thing. But it destroyed my trust. And I can't just fix that. I didn't mean to make you feel like you couldn't talk to me. I feel my emotions often and strongly. I react accordingly, it's how I've survived. It felt like you were calling me that when-" she wills her voice not to break. She takes a deep breath. "-when afterward happened. I know I'm not a slut. I do. I pushed Chad away when I easily could have let him fuck me. When you didn't. If that doesn't show something to you, I don't know what else will. I know we've gone fast. It wasn't just me though. And you went from telling me you wanted it too, to kissing me like you would if I were your best friend and it was the first time we were kissing. And you knew something was wrong. And I tell you I don't trust you and you break up with me. How am I supposed to trust you when whenever I open up you do that?" she had said all of this in a whisper. "Go on. Continue yelling at me. I can take it. I'm strong."
"A comment." He said, his voice even, "A comment destroyed your trust? My being scared of something so big, destroyed your trust?" He shook his head, "Did you just use the fact that I was scared and not willing to have sex with you, whether you were ready or not, right then and there? Do you think I wanted Chad to be a jerk to you like that? Have you ever stopped to think for a second, that I kissed you like that because I didn't want to make you upset? Like I was scared of what you were going to do or say?" He took a breath and continued, "I didn't break up with you. I asked for a break. I think we need time apart. Skylar, it's been two days. We need to slow down if we do come back after a break."
"How am I supposed to trust you when you pushed me away when I was being vulnerable. You did the same thing 10 minutes ago. I didn't use it. I'm just saying. I didn't say you wanted Chad to be a jerk. What are you saying? IF we come back. Yeah, okay Liam. Have fun with your ifs. Push away someone who cares. Cuz I sure as hell don't care at all right now. You're putting it on me as if you didn't lick my pussy." she screams the last part, "It wasn't just me. And you think that I didn't kiss you in the first place because, your words, "I was scared of what you were going to do or say?. Fine Liam. Just fine. Whatever." She stands there, wanting to leave but wanting him to get all of his anger out before she left him to be alone.
"You sure you ever cared, Skylar? You sure you didn't just want someone to feel bad for you?" He asked, raising his voice, he knew he was being as ass but he didn't care anymore. The relationship, if you could even call it that, was already ruined. "I didn't lick your pussy so don't say that. You can keep putting all this shit on me, pushing it off to be my fault, but I'm done. We're done." And with that he got into his car and started it.
"Are you FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!"
She bangs on his front door needing Lillian.
She bangs on his front door needing Lillian.
Lillian swung open the door and opened her arms, waiting for Skylar's need of comfort.
"We're done." she says and hugs Lillian tightly, wondering how it all went so wrong.
"Oh sweetie," Lillian said, hugging her back just as tightly.
"I went out there to help and he just talked at me, not even yelling and drove off." She starts sobbing again, tired of being strong for him. "I can't be done with him. I just can't."
"Maybe he said some things he didn't mean, sweetheart. Maybe he got mad and wanted to go out with what he thinks was a bang." She said softly, hugging her tight.
She has no words. "What do I even do??? He thinks I just wanted him to feel sorry for me. I have issues. I have no one. And he threw that in my face."
"Think about it for a moment," she said pulling out of their hug and looking at her, wiping her tears. "Do you really think he meant that? If you do then, that should tell you exactly why you two shouldn't be together."
She sighs, "I don't know anything. I don't know how to feel. I'm hurt. He's hurt. He's obviously angry at me for fucking going to the bathroom, puking my guts out and then crying. He broke up with me when that happened. Who does that? And I can't even get home. Not that I want to. My dad's probably passed out drunk somewhere or he's angry."
"Sweetie, you are always welcome here. I can put Liam out for a couple of nights and let you be here." She said, hugging her again. "He deserves it anyways."
"You can't put him out. I can't stay here, as much as I want to. It would be an effective torture method sure, but I need to not think about him. I'll probably just crash at a hotel or my friends couch or something." she says looking down.
"I will put you in a nice hotel, okay? I will check on you every single day. Unless you don't want me to of course." She said, feeling hurt at just the idea.
"Okay." she says, embarrassed. She hugs Lillian tighter, "Of course I want you to. You're like my mum," she says, tears in her eyes again, but for a different reason.
Lillian felt her own tear come out again, "You're like my daughter." She said, hugging her tighter.
"I hope I'll see you again. When we're happy. I love you so much. Thank you for everything. You could have easily just thrown me out but you were there for me. Thank you." she says, choking up.
"Sweetheart, just because you two broke up doesn't mean we have to not see each other." She pointed, "I will always be here for you to talk to and cry on, okay? I love you too, sweetie."
Her heart expands and says, "Okay." willing herself not to cry.
