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Sav's Writing Thread
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Denali, Word Wars, Character Kingdom, and Writing Buddies Mod
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Dec 25, 2021 09:37PM
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Well most of this work can be found on Commaful: https://commaful.com/play/inspiredbyl...
--you guys should join
|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣ |
Follow Me on Commaful
|＿＿＿＿＿ _＿_|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
https://commaful.com/play/inspiredbyl...
lol anywayyy all jokes aside... here's the poems I've written in the past day... there were prompts and I think that they're with the poem that corresponds.
--you guys should join
|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣ |
Follow Me on Commaful
|＿＿＿＿＿ _＿_|
(\__/) ||
(•ㅅ•) ||
/ づ
https://commaful.com/play/inspiredbyl...
lol anywayyy all jokes aside... here's the poems I've written in the past day... there were prompts and I think that they're with the poem that corresponds.
Prompt: Wagon (got featured in the daily prompt category (first time ever for me))
Wagon (poetry)
Covered, it shrieks
It’s wheels, unoiled, unkempt, unloved
Used to move and not much else
It sits alone like a toy on a shelf
Through winter
Through fall
Through summer and spring
All it wishes for is an escape
From the wilderness’ antics
The wind and the chill
Won’t you help it?
I know I will
Prompts: Scars, souls, stars
Scar-Crossed Hearts
Across the cosmos don’t you see?
Our scar-crossed love, waiting for me
You left your home, you called me yours
I still can’t believe that you still care
Underneath our scarred love
The secrets between us are zero to none
My heart aches with the thought of yours nil
But how do I learn how to trust you still?
You broke my heart
Left me to die
Checked your ways
And didn’t say goodbye
Prompt: Bomb
Bomb
When you walk away
I have naught to say
Silence,
It creeps
Through the air
Through my skin
In the silence before a masterpiece
A bomb explodes between us
Irreparrable damage
I walk away
Forever
Scarred
Trembling
Broken
Bombed
You walk away
Mischievous
Smirking
Waiting
For your next victim
To throw your heart attack on to
See what they do
When you’re through
Prompt: 8000 miles away
No Ring For Me
I thought we’d be fine
When you said goodbye
It’s only a continent away
I begged you to stay
Work comes first
Not me, I know
But sometimes
I wonder
How far will this go?
4 years time
You promised me a ring
The question is what good will this bring?
I don’t trust you and you don’t trust me
I’ve called you thrice within this hour
The unanswered rings ricochet off of my apartment walls
8000 miles away
You have not a single reason to stay
8000 miles unseen
I don’t think I’ll be the one
Receiving
The glean
Of your
Ring
You’ll just
Find
Another
Fling
Wagon (poetry)
Covered, it shrieks
It’s wheels, unoiled, unkempt, unloved
Used to move and not much else
It sits alone like a toy on a shelf
Through winter
Through fall
Through summer and spring
All it wishes for is an escape
From the wilderness’ antics
The wind and the chill
Won’t you help it?
I know I will
Prompts: Scars, souls, stars
Scar-Crossed Hearts
Across the cosmos don’t you see?
Our scar-crossed love, waiting for me
You left your home, you called me yours
I still can’t believe that you still care
Underneath our scarred love
The secrets between us are zero to none
My heart aches with the thought of yours nil
But how do I learn how to trust you still?
You broke my heart
Left me to die
Checked your ways
And didn’t say goodbye
Prompt: Bomb
Bomb
When you walk away
I have naught to say
Silence,
It creeps
Through the air
Through my skin
In the silence before a masterpiece
A bomb explodes between us
Irreparrable damage
I walk away
Forever
Scarred
Trembling
Broken
Bombed
You walk away
Mischievous
Smirking
Waiting
For your next victim
To throw your heart attack on to
See what they do
When you’re through
Prompt: 8000 miles away
No Ring For Me
I thought we’d be fine
When you said goodbye
It’s only a continent away
I begged you to stay
Work comes first
Not me, I know
But sometimes
I wonder
How far will this go?
4 years time
You promised me a ring
The question is what good will this bring?
I don’t trust you and you don’t trust me
I’ve called you thrice within this hour
The unanswered rings ricochet off of my apartment walls
8000 miles away
You have not a single reason to stay
8000 miles unseen
I don’t think I’ll be the one
Receiving
The glean
Of your
Ring
You’ll just
Find
Another
Fling
message 4:
by
Denali, Word Wars, Character Kingdom, and Writing Buddies Mod
(new)
Mod
message 7:
by
Denali, Word Wars, Character Kingdom, and Writing Buddies Mod
(new)
Mod
Yes. Actually. I promise I don't give out praise lightly. They're beautiful, and they evoke a lot of emotion. I'm really really really impressed. Truly.
Allison wrote: "SAV THESE POEMS ARE BEAUTIFUL! SO GOOD"
*scratches head*
you really think sooooooo
*scratches head*
you really think sooooooo
okay so I edited the bomb poem before I submitted it this morning for the daily prompt.. just a few small changes but it did change it
The italicized words are ones that I changed/added.
When you walk away
I have naught to say
Silence,
It creeps
Through the air
Through my skin
In the stillness before a masterpiece
A bomb explodes between us
Words they tear me
Tears they break me
Anger, it haunts me
Irreparable damage
I walk away
Forever
Scarred
Trembling
Broken
Bombed
You walk away
Mischievous
Smirking
Waiting
For your next victim
To throw your heart attack on to
See what they do
When you’re through
So that's it for right now... I'll let you know the outcome of my poem (if it made it to the showcase again!!)
The italicized words are ones that I changed/added.
When you walk away
I have naught to say
Silence,
It creeps
Through the air
Through my skin
In the stillness before a masterpiece
A bomb explodes between us
Words they tear me
Tears they break me
Anger, it haunts me
Irreparable damage
I walk away
Forever
Scarred
Trembling
Broken
Bombed
You walk away
Mischievous
Smirking
Waiting
For your next victim
To throw your heart attack on to
See what they do
When you’re through
So that's it for right now... I'll let you know the outcome of my poem (if it made it to the showcase again!!)
Sav wrote: "Allison wrote: "SAV THESE POEMS ARE BEAUTIFUL! SO GOOD"*scratches head*
you really think sooooooo"
YES, THEY ARE WONDERFUL
*me still being shocked*
*me knowing i have a fan community on my poetry site*
*me still being shocked that more than those 228 people like my poetry*
*me knowing i have a fan community on my poetry site*
*me still being shocked that more than those 228 people like my poetry*
Joey
Friends toenemies
I meanthating you
No I meant friends
This was extremely emotional and hard for me to write so please be gentle… I know I’m a horrible person...
Anyways here's mybroken-hearted
no my poem about falling in love with my best friend
and him rejecting the **** out of me
and him being nice... and staying
rather awkwardly
while he torments me with her presence in his life
You know me too well
Can sense my feelings from miles away
Could hear the tears dripping down my face
When I was real
And you were too
When I told you I had fallen in love with you
When I told you
I helped you
I helped with her
I helped even
I helped even though it hurt
I helped even though it hurt me to no end
I helped even though you were with my best friend
I helped even though
I helped even though I loved you
I went home and cried and promised to say
I went home and cried and promised to say goodbye
My best friend
My love
My rejected fiend
I was too late
And you
And you too numb
To bother with thinking if
We could become
We could become more?
My old friend,
My old friend, she broke you
I want to fix it
I want to kiss it better
But you chose
But you chose the one
But you chose the one with no history
No messy end
No strings attached
No friendship
And I can’t even hate you
And I can’t even hate you because you stayed with me
You stayed while I cried
While I broke
While I broke every promise I had ever made to you
While I broke every promise I had ever made to you and to her
Have fun with Lilli,
My best friend
Have fun with her
My best friend
Obviously I’m not good enough
No matter what you said.
Friends to
I meant
No I meant friends
This was extremely emotional and hard for me to write so please be gentle… I know I’m a horrible person...
Anyways here's my
no my poem about falling in love with my best friend
and him being nice... and staying
You know me too well
Can sense my feelings from miles away
Could hear the tears dripping down my face
When I was real
And you were too
When I told you I had fallen in love with you
When I told you
I helped you
I helped with her
I helped even
I helped even though it hurt
I helped even though it hurt me to no end
I helped even though you were with my best friend
I helped even though
I helped even though I loved you
I went home and cried and promised to say
I went home and cried and promised to say goodbye
My best friend
My love
My rejected fiend
I was too late
And you
And you too numb
To bother with thinking if
We could become
We could become more?
My old friend,
My old friend, she broke you
I want to fix it
I want to kiss it better
But you chose
But you chose the one
But you chose the one with no history
No messy end
No strings attached
No friendship
And I can’t even hate you
And I can’t even hate you because you stayed with me
You stayed while I cried
While I broke
While I broke every promise I had ever made to you
While I broke every promise I had ever made to you and to her
Have fun with Lilli,
My best friend
Have fun with her
My best friend
Obviously I’m not good enough
No matter what you said.
this was the hardest emotional poem i've ever written... i started crying whilst writing tbh
sav c
h
i
l
l
s
omg i just actually thoroughly read it for the first time and now i'm crying and i feel the chills
idek how i wrote it ...
there's a lot of emotion still there between us
like he's in Florida
and he hasn't texted me
oh and wait
last Friday.. his old gf... my best friend
asked me what was going on between us
and i acted like an idiot.. and i should tell him
but i'm scared because we're already "on eggshells"
there's a lot of emotion still there between us
like he's in Florida
and he hasn't texted me
oh and wait
last Friday.. his old gf... my best friend
asked me what was going on between us
and i acted like an idiot.. and i should tell him
but i'm scared because we're already "on eggshells"
also here's a story i'm writing off of a prompt that i'd love some feedback on!
Prompt: Deadline – January 1st
Ring! Ring! Ring! I rush to grab my phone. My sister seems to be having trouble…oddly. She never calls me. “Hello? I say. All I hear is a voice fazing in and out of existence. “Hello?” I repeat. “I’m gonna go…” I say. “No!” A voice screams. I drop my phone. Quickly, I hang up. “Who was that?” I whisper to myself. Shouldn’t worry about it.
--sisters pov—
It had been a lonmg hard day. Ater working my shift in the hospital after 8 long years of med school, I was contemplating whether or not it had been all wroth it. Whatever, I thought to myself. You have drinks with your boyfriend tonight, no more time for work. Decompressing myself mentally, I got into my car and headed to my apartment to get a change of clothes before our date. I loved Landon, I really did. He was different. After pulling into my parking lot, I walked slowly up the stairs before getting my keys to unlock my door. Out of force of habit, I tentatively touched my doorknob, checking to make sure it was still locked after my 48 hours of absence. Surprisingly, the door flew open and a masked figure jumped out with a gun and a sock. They stuffed the sock in my mouth and said… “I’ve been waiting for you Mae.” She wants to scream, but nothing comes out. She writhes in their arms as she’s picked up and stuffed into the back of a van. She searches her pocket. She has nothing. Nothing dang it. Stupid, stupid, stupid she chides herself. She had gone to events for this. Her mom had prepared her for this as a child. And yet, here she is, thrown in the back of some strange person’s van with nothing except the clothes on her back. In a daze, she realizes, where’s my phone she thinks.
and here's where my writers block sets in bc i'm a poetist lol not a short story writer.. talk about stretching horizons lmao
Ring! Ring! Ring! I rush to grab my phone. My sister seems to be having trouble…oddly. She never calls me. “Hello? I say. All I hear is a voice fazing in and out of existence. “Hello?” I repeat. “I’m gonna go…” I say. “No!” A voice screams. I drop my phone. Quickly, I hang up. “Who was that?” I whisper to myself. Shouldn’t worry about it.
--sisters pov—
It had been a lonmg hard day. Ater working my shift in the hospital after 8 long years of med school, I was contemplating whether or not it had been all wroth it. Whatever, I thought to myself. You have drinks with your boyfriend tonight, no more time for work. Decompressing myself mentally, I got into my car and headed to my apartment to get a change of clothes before our date. I loved Landon, I really did. He was different. After pulling into my parking lot, I walked slowly up the stairs before getting my keys to unlock my door. Out of force of habit, I tentatively touched my doorknob, checking to make sure it was still locked after my 48 hours of absence. Surprisingly, the door flew open and a masked figure jumped out with a gun and a sock. They stuffed the sock in my mouth and said… “I’ve been waiting for you Mae.” She wants to scream, but nothing comes out. She writhes in their arms as she’s picked up and stuffed into the back of a van. She searches her pocket. She has nothing. Nothing dang it. Stupid, stupid, stupid she chides herself. She had gone to events for this. Her mom had prepared her for this as a child. And yet, here she is, thrown in the back of some strange person’s van with nothing except the clothes on her back. In a daze, she realizes, where’s my phone she thinks.
and here's where my writers block sets in bc i'm a poetist lol not a short story writer.. talk about stretching horizons lmao
the part above the "sisters pov" is the prompt/prologue btw
message 26:
by
Denali, Word Wars, Character Kingdom, and Writing Buddies Mod
(new)
Mod
Your really emotional poem nearly made me cry, and I've never experienced a break-up
Your short story is really good too. I really want to read where it goes!
Sav, I'm invested in Mae.I am.
It's so good and it has a lot a detail.
*my initial thoughts after your comments*
why are you guys so nice to me
lmmao
my brain these days
why are you guys so nice to me
lmmao
my brain these days
Denali wrote: "Lol Sav these are soooo goood!!!!!!!!
Your really emotional poem nearly made me cry, and I've never experienced a break-up because I'm too independent for don't have a bf lol. It was tangible and ..."
and yk that was the poem about me telling my best friend i fell in love with him after he broke up with my ex bsf...
*awkward laughing*
oops
Your really emotional poem nearly made me cry, and I've never experienced a break-up because I'm too independent for don't have a bf lol. It was tangible and ..."
and yk that was the poem about me telling my best friend i fell in love with him after he broke up with my ex bsf...
*awkward laughing*
oops
Sav wrote: "*my initial thoughts after your comments*why are you guys so nice to me
lmmao
my brain these days"
BC WE LOVE YOU <3
Sav wrote: "Denali wrote: "Lol Sav these are soooo goood!!!!!!!!Your really emotional poem nearly made me cry, and I've never experienced a break-up because I'm too independent for don't have a bf lol. It wa..."
that poem hit me in 100 different places
here's the link to the multimedia thing i made online.. i don't think you need an account to see it
https://commaful.com/play/inspiredbyl...
https://commaful.com/play/inspiredbyl...
SAV THATS SO GOOOOOOD
now you can see all my other writing crap
holy wowowowow
i've gotten 118 page reads for that poem!!
i've gotten 118 page reads for that poem!!
message 40:
by
Denali, Word Wars, Character Kingdom, and Writing Buddies Mod
(new)
Mod
WHICH MEANS YOUR WORK IS FLIPPING AWESOME!!!!!!!
OK so there was a challenge on this website... and i had to write a prologue to this:
https://commaful.com/play/mapledxxx/i...
and i wrote this:
Tw: Thoughts of Abortion
~~~~~~~~
If Briar was honest with herself, she knew.
She knew from the very beginning what was “wrong with her”.
Maybe she just didn’t want to tell Myles.
Maybe she thought he didn’t deserve it..
Maybe
Maybe they weren’t ready.
He was such a good boyfriend
Sure, he messed up sometimes… but she just wasn’t ready to be a mom.
They’d been getting together frequently, and Briar always took a pregnancy test after.
Afterward, she screamed into her pillow, “I’M NOT READY TO BE A MOM!!!”
She made plans.
Plans to break the law.
Plans to get an abortion.
She’d always been Pro-Life.
But it goes out of the window when it’s your life on the line.
She went into Planned Parenthood… did it.
She did
She did it.
But afterwards
But afterwards she freaked out.
She threw out every single remnant
She threw out every single remnant of that thing she did
Of their child
Of their child that she killed.
Her antibiotics went with.
Her antibiotics went
Her antibiotics
Her way of staying clean.
Her way of getting clean
Her way of getting a clean
Her way of getting a clean break
From everything
Everything happening:
Her not taking her antibiotics
Her not telling Myles
Him getting worried and calling the doctor.
It’s all about to go down.
So she cowers underneath the covers as she hears,
“Yeah I’m Myles, is there anything I should be concerned about?”
And she has to stuff the pillow over her mouth to hide her scream
And she has to stuff the pillow over her mouth to hide her scream of surprise
And she has to stuff the pillow over her mouth to hide her scream of shock
And she has to stuff the pillow over her mouth to hide her scream of suspicion…
The abortion didn’t work.
https://commaful.com/play/mapledxxx/i...
and i wrote this:
Tw: Thoughts of Abortion
~~~~~~~~
If Briar was honest with herself, she knew.
She knew from the very beginning what was “wrong with her”.
Maybe she just didn’t want to tell Myles.
Maybe she thought he didn’t deserve it..
Maybe
Maybe they weren’t ready.
He was such a good boyfriend
Sure, he messed up sometimes… but she just wasn’t ready to be a mom.
They’d been getting together frequently, and Briar always took a pregnancy test after.
Afterward, she screamed into her pillow, “I’M NOT READY TO BE A MOM!!!”
She made plans.
Plans to break the law.
Plans to get an abortion.
She’d always been Pro-Life.
But it goes out of the window when it’s your life on the line.
She went into Planned Parenthood… did it.
She did
She did it.
But afterwards
But afterwards she freaked out.
She threw out every single remnant
She threw out every single remnant of that thing she did
Of their child
Of their child that she killed.
Her antibiotics went with.
Her antibiotics went
Her antibiotics
Her way of staying clean.
Her way of getting clean
Her way of getting a clean
Her way of getting a clean break
From everything
Everything happening:
Her not taking her antibiotics
Her not telling Myles
Him getting worried and calling the doctor.
It’s all about to go down.
So she cowers underneath the covers as she hears,
“Yeah I’m Myles, is there anything I should be concerned about?”
And she has to stuff the pillow over her mouth to hide her scream
And she has to stuff the pillow over her mouth to hide her scream of surprise
And she has to stuff the pillow over her mouth to hide her scream of shock
And she has to stuff the pillow over her mouth to hide her scream of suspicion…
The abortion didn’t work.
Smoke:
Hot coals at my feet
I’m ready to feel defeat
Smoke in my lungs, bro
Keep that cigar gone
I want to watch rising dawn
Colors painted fro
The smoke it covers
The iridescent wonders
The fire it paints us
Smoke in our body
We know it looks real grody
Please don’t make a fuss
Hot coals at my feet
I’m ready to feel defeat
Smoke in my lungs, bro
Keep that cigar gone
I want to watch rising dawn
Colors painted fro
The smoke it covers
The iridescent wonders
The fire it paints us
Smoke in our body
We know it looks real grody
Please don’t make a fuss
Sympathy:
I feel your pain
That I know not of
I feel your tears
Where did those come from?
I try my best
To pass the test
Of caring when you don’t know
What they have felt shows
I’m a good rfriend
I’ll stay til the end
Even if I don’t understand
I feel your pain
That I know not of
I feel your tears
Where did those come from?
I try my best
To pass the test
Of caring when you don’t know
What they have felt shows
I’m a good rfriend
I’ll stay til the end
Even if I don’t understand
*me realizzing that this counts towards word wars*
YAYAYAYAY
YAYAYAYAY
Warning:
I'm super emotional and sad right now.
Read upcoming posts with caution
Side effects: Tears, shaking, screaming, becoming unconsolable.
I warned you.
I'm super emotional and sad right now.
Read upcoming posts with caution
Side effects: Tears, shaking, screaming, becoming unconsolable.
I warned you.
You’re my painkiller (Ruel)
You’re who I turn to when I need a crutch
You’re who I turn to when I need a shoulder
A shoulder to cry on
A shoulder to lean on
To lean on me is dangerous
Dangerous because you’re MY painkiller
Painkillers make you high
Painkillers make you addicted
Addicted is what I am to you
You are all that matters
You are all that matters to me
It’s unhealthy I know
I won’t let you go
Going away, might kill me, you see?
I held onto you
For too many nights
Too many fights
I had with you
You guided me against all odds
Wiped off my knees when I would fall
You fixed me better
But I guess
I’m not enough to fix you
She can
You’re not too numb
You’re not too numb for me
False
You’re not too numb for her
So we lead ourselves down a dangerous road
A crossing of truths
I ask myself late tonight
What does she have?
What did I do?
What did I do?|
What did I do|
What did I do to deserve you hurting me
What did I do to deserve you|
What did I do to deserve you leaving me?
What did I do?|
What did I do?
What did I do?|
What did I do?
These thoughts they hammer me
All the time
I can usually block them out in the light
But when night comes and we’re too far apart
I start to wonder
When did this start
When did I lose this part?
It’s fine.
It’s|
I’m|
I’m
I’m okay|
I’m oka|
I’m ok|
I’m o|
I’m |
I’m n|
I’m no|
I’m not|
I’m not okay
We’re not okay.
It’s not okay.
Anymore.
I think this has been the death of
-my best friend
-my lover
-my addiction
And only the beginning of
-my strength
-yet also my weakness
-my tears
-my trust issues
I’m fine 😉
You’re who I turn to when I need a crutch
You’re who I turn to when I need a shoulder
A shoulder to cry on
A shoulder to lean on
To lean on me is dangerous
Dangerous because you’re MY painkiller
Painkillers make you high
Painkillers make you addicted
Addicted is what I am to you
You are all that matters
You are all that matters to me
It’s unhealthy I know
I won’t let you go
Going away, might kill me, you see?
I held onto you
For too many nights
Too many fights
I had with you
You guided me against all odds
Wiped off my knees when I would fall
You fixed me better
But I guess
I’m not enough to fix you
She can
You’re not too numb
You’re not too numb for me
False
You’re not too numb for her
So we lead ourselves down a dangerous road
A crossing of truths
I ask myself late tonight
What does she have?
What did I do?
What did I do?|
What did I do|
What did I do to deserve you hurting me
What did I do to deserve you|
What did I do to deserve you leaving me?
What did I do?|
What did I do?
What did I do?|
What did I do?
These thoughts they hammer me
All the time
I can usually block them out in the light
But when night comes and we’re too far apart
I start to wonder
When did this start
When did I lose this part?
It’s fine.
It’s|
I’m|
I’m
I’m okay|
I’m oka|
I’m ok|
I’m o|
I’m |
I’m n|
I’m no|
I’m not|
I’m not okay
We’re not okay.
It’s not okay.
Anymore.
I think this has been the death of
-my best friend
-my lover
-my addiction
And only the beginning of
-my strength
-yet also my weakness
-my tears
-my trust issues
I’m fine 😉
The painkiller part at the beginning was my inspo
