- chat Showing 3,701-3,750 of 4,511

[[deleted user]]

i'm related to bill clinton

[artemis]

♘ ethel ♘ wrote: "i'm related to bill clinton"

what.

[[deleted user]]

distantly but still

[artemis]

can;t wait for the family reunion

[[deleted user]]

dude i can't wait for greta's resurrection ceremony

[[deleted user]]

Wait what

[[deleted user]]

when greta revives

[leah-megan]

btw alice did you see the pic of beowulf, also I posted at the park I think

[[deleted user]]

i did see it all, i'm just depressed i guess

[[deleted user]]

sorry

[[deleted user]]

i can't make it any better but--
I LITERALLY WORKED SO HARD ON THIS GROUP AND I JUST DISCOVERED IT AFTER LIKE, 2 YEARS

[[deleted user]]

i lost it bc i deleted my account AND I JUST FOUND IT AGAIN

[[deleted user]]

yay

[artemis]

that's nice /gen

[[deleted user]]

i think i invited u 2

[[deleted user]]

guys i'm sorry for my inactivity, i've been very preoccupied given one of my best friends is uh in a psych ward, so i apologize. once i chill out i'll likely begin to respond :) not sure when that'll be, though.

[leah-megan]

your all good

[artemis]

ethel remember to respond to the the the rabbit kingdom main square soon /nf

[[deleted user]]

you can smd /j

[artemis]

nefariously

[[deleted user]]

im so sorry

[[deleted user]]

i feel like a terrible person

[[deleted user]]

but i just can't respond to these rps right now
and i'm going through a really bad depressive episode
and, like, i've been pretty reckless lately
and i feel terrible
so i'm sorry to everyone

[Birdsong231☾ (pm before invs)]

No worries. ♡ Focus on taking care of yourself. That's what's most important to all of us.

[~Mᥱɾᥴᥙɾყ~]

Please take all the time you need Alice<3
You're more important than rp replies<3

[[deleted user]]

hey guys uh rant it's like about greta and something that my guidance counselor told me and i've wanted to say it but the words felt too hard until now

(view spoiler)[she called me in to her office at some point and when i got in she had a bit of an exasperated tone with me, asking me why i didn't tell anyone that greta was suicidal, depressed, etc. she just was acting very upset saying that a good friend would tell an adult and i needed to do that from now on.

i told her that i didn't want to make things worse and tried to be vague while still letting her know that the family sucked and she was just like not hearing me that much. she told me i still needed to tell someone to take some action. but who wouldn't just make it worse? anyways..it's really hard to know what the right thing to do is. it wasn't like greta was telling me "i'm downing the pills at 2 pm tomorrow"...it was just passively. normal stuff.
basically she practically guilt tripped me, saying that if greta really died of something and i hadn't done anything that it'd be bad. she never said that it'd be my fault, but it was definitely implied.
my jaw was shaking the entire time there. i felt so shitty. like, these past few days i've felt like such a bad friend. i've been noticing my influence on people and feeling like i'm bringing people down with me even though they were already like that. idk i'm really stupid but like sorry (hide spoiler)]

[~Mᥱɾᥴᥙɾყ~]

oh my gods Alice. Firstly, that was not your fault at all. Greta confided in you because she trusted you. You trusted your gut and didn't tell. You're such a great friend.

You don't deserve guilt tripping and I am so so so sorry.

[[deleted user]]

thanks, it's been hard but i'm glad there are people there for me :)

[~Mᥱɾᥴᥙɾყ~]

we're always here for you<3

[leah-megan]

love you alice, and we love greta too

[[deleted user]]

Return of the Mack.

[[deleted user]]

And no one cares. :,)

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

sup, bitches

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

i'm fucking BACK
HELL YEAH

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

feels amazing oh my god

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

I love you guys so so so much, it's so sweet you guys were thinking of me :)
i wanna hug you all and just squeeze you hfbejhbfhjebgrjbejerbf

[[deleted user]]

are you okay? Do you need virtual online hugs?

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

enbfjwhebfefwhjefwjebfgv thank you for offering
i uh
stuff happened
A LOT OF STUFF
i'll sum it all up gimme a second

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

(view spoiler)[mom took me to the er after our assistant principal called her, saying i had written a note in french that translated to "please kill me." we arrived at musc around 10, and the night was super repetitive. people lifting my shirt up and looking at my scars, asking me the same questions over and over, me having to tell them all about my overdose i never wanted to recall, stuff like that. i had to stay in the emergency department for a while, abt 3 days. the 2nd day, alice came in while i was getting dinner and she had to leave but her face gave me strength to keep going. (ps alice, i loved the cookie, thank you. i cried reading that letter, i don't deserve you.)
The 3rd day, i got transferred to the institute of psychiatry. i got a roommate and the food was even worse than the hospital food. my roommate has a lot of trauma and is involved with court, and the poor girl has a lot of panic attacks. she had one that first night, and then she bit a plastic spork and she cut herself from her wrist to elbow, all in a close together zig-zag. it wasn't the best first night.
the next day, people were really nice. this one guy, Chris, gave me some water while i was watching some people play spot it. (remember him giving me the water its important later.) Later that night, after i had taken a shower and finished a phone call with my mom, a friend of Chris, Nehemiah, stopped me and said "hey uh, did chris give you some water?" i responded with "yeah, why?" and he was like "did you drink it?" I said i did, and he responded with "holy shit, i'm gonna fucking kill him. you can go back to your room now." WHAT MADE IT EVEN CREEPIER WAS THAT AS I WAS RETURNING TO MY ROOM, CHRIS STOPPED ME AND WAS LIKE "hey, i got you some more water." i declined and said i wasn't thirsty before returning to my room. Every night we watch a movie, so i had to leave my room again to participate in that. While we were watching the movie, Nehemiah got up to get his meds from the nurse and as he passed me, he whispered, "hey uh, chris like, has a crush on you." i was like "w-what? oh, uh, o-okay..." and Chris, who was sitting next to me, said "what did he tell you?" i responded by saying "oh, uh, he was just telling me that i need to take my meds soon." (i didnt even know if i had to take meds, i just saw people getting up and getting meds from the nurse and made that up)
The next morning (April 1st) , my roommate told me "Hey uh, Chris says he wants you to have breakfast with him." I thanked her for telling me and went outside to do my goal work, which is a paper that's like "list everything that keeps you alive" and stuff. While i was going back to my room, nehemiah stopped me and said "chris is planning on confessing to you. do you like him back?" i said i did not, and nehemiah said "oh, well, say you do. then tell him it's april fools day." i said i would, and we shook on it. When it was time for breakfast (about 8:00 est), i sat down with chris. he asked me what i was in for, and i told him i was in for suicide. he nodded and told me why he was in. after that he said, "i uh, i like you. i uh, i think you're nice" Before i could say anything, he said "i'm sorry, ahaha, this is awkward." We finished our breakfast, and as we were throwing away our plates, he asked "do you like me?" i said "i do, but it's april fools day" before smiling and walking off. Later, i was cleaning my room. remember the cup of water he gave me? well, i didn't finish it. I put it on a table on my side of the room and never finished it. while i was cleaning, i went to throw out the cup, and noticed white, gloopy, sticky looking stuff at the bottom. I looked at my roommate and said "please tell me that's not what i think that is" and she responded with "that's cum."
What happened later seemed like some weird JD meant to be yours shit. I was about to take a shower and was undressing in the bathroom, near the sink. I went to turn the water on, and guess who i found in the shower? Chris. He started a whole ass speech. it was like this. "You look beautiful, greta. even though i see everything now, i still want to see more. when i confessed to you earlier, you said yes, did you not? you just didn't want people to know just how much you love me! it's okay baby, there's no need to be embarrassed. i know you love me, so show me how much you love me, right here, right now. Come on, i know you want me." My roommate entered to room since she finished her phone call with her mom. She heard Chris and entered the bathroom. I was curled up in the corner of the filthy shower, covering my chest and crotch, fear in my eyes. She screamed at chris and grabbed his shirt, dragged him out of the bathroom and threw him into the hall, yelling for a staff member. I didn't tell my mom about what happened in the shower. this is the first i'm talking about it. all she knows is about the cup. i tried to write a letter to alice telling her about the cup thing and hoping to tell her about the shower thing when we met face to face. my mom told me to get rid of the letter though, silencing my voice and going "you don't know what sperm looks like, so stop coming to conclusions."
the rest of the time there, i stayed in my room. i was too afraid to leave. I was discharged April 6th, but couldn't talk to anyone until now. (hide spoiler)]

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

even after what chris did to me, they let him out same day as me, and established a 10-foot-rule that they never bothered to enforce. i wanna hurt someone

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

plus the fact that mom is making me keep silent and belittling my situation
i cant
i just
i cant take it
they're all "hey, your feelings matter :D we care about you"
but they fucking don't i hate it i hate them

[[deleted user]]

when I first started going to therapy my mom (who didn't pay for it, I did) would constantly belittle me.
she constantly told me that she'd rather have her (view spoiler)[aborted son (hide spoiler)] be around then me, maybe i wouldn't be a fuck up.
you should tell your mom to find a therapist.

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

i'm so sorry that happened. it must be terrible.
i think my entire family is going to go to therapy sometime soon
my dad's even worse though
he yells
and he breaks things
and i'm always afraid
i have to lie
over and over and over again to the point where even if i want to tell the truth and reach out for help, the second i do and the second i try i just lie
i cant help it
i cant control it
lying has protected me so so much
over and over again
i lie
and i'm safe
but its another opportunity missed
2 nights ago, we all went out to dinner
i was trying to be myself, since my dad was around and my mom told me i have no reason to be afraid
but then they tried to tell me that i needed to be more mature
i don't get it
i have to be myself around them, but also have to change myself for them to like me
it's so confusing
i just
i don't understand

[[deleted user]]

Nothing is ever going to be better if they dont realize their own faults. Its not all yours.

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

you're right
i'm just afraid
they'll probably yell at me
and who am i to stand up to them anyways
i'm just a kid
a pathetic little kid who still relies on them for food and water and a place to live
and i know they're trying to change and get better
i'd feel too bad
I've carried so many burdens for my family
bottled so many secrets
i'm just "little miss agreeable" and "little miss understandable" to them
i want to speak up but i just cant
no matter how hard i try i just lie again

[C✪PIᚣ ⛧]

https://alwaysjudgeabookbyitscover.com/ :)

[[deleted user]]

i have no words

[[deleted user]]

as fucking csa survivor FUCK THAT MAN ILL TEAR APART HIS GODDAMN BRAINS AND CHOP HIS DICK THE FUCK UP AND MAKE HIM SO DEPRESSED HE JUST DROPS THE FUCK DEAD
ILL FUCKING END CHRIS
THE FUCKING LITTLE BITCH WILL BURN AT THE GODDAMN STAKE

[artemis]

What the actual fuck. Shit like that is so disgusting. Why the fuck would he think that would do anything. That's so disgusting. My god. What the fuck. Why the fuck? He deserves the fucking worst. What the hell? That's so fucking disgusting. What the fuck what the fuck. That's horrible. That's fucking. What the fuck was he even thinking? God that's disgusting. That's fucking horrible. I'm sorry you had that happen. That's so fucking disgusting. That's just gross. What the fuck.

[artemis]

God, I just ended up repeating shit