Question L

[Jonetta]

Both Paula and Jenny openly complained about each other to their children for years. Do you think either of them gave any consideration to how this impacted their children? Why or why not?

[Sharon]

Not really. Jenny was hurt and while she wanted to protect her children, she treated Amanda like her friend instead of her daughter. She would complain to Amanda about her father, which magnified Amanda's own feelings about her father's betrayal.

Paula didn't consider her children at all. I'm don't understand why she moved her children to California in the first place.

[Anita]

Neither mother had any room to complain about the other. They each had their bad moments. I think Jenny had every right to play the victim, but it didn't help her kids in dealing with Paula. With Bill MIA most of the time there was very little to counteract Jenny's nasty feelings about him and Paula.

Paula made very little effort to have a good relationship with either Amanda or Tommy. She would have preferred if they didn't exist and basically treated them that way.

[Jonetta]

Paula is a narcissist and Jenny is still hurt and broken from being cheated on, discarded and having the mistress moved to her town. Both behaved selfishly without any regard to what was going on with their children. Paula could care less and Jenny is too stuck in her own feelings.

That’s a great point about Jenny treating Amanda like she was her friend. That’s too big of a burden for a teen and it rarely ends well.

Those kids should have been shielded from these adult matters and neither should ever have said a disparaging word about the other in their presence. The kids may know how you really feel but it takes the tension away when they know they can speak freely in your presence. They all deserved better than what they got.

[Charlene]

I find myself wondering if there is an echo here of the situations with the mothers of David's daughter and Nick's son.... maybe I'm too tired to think straight...

[Anita]

This whole story is a contrast on how these different families are dealing with divorce.

[Melissa]

No, they didn't. If Paula did, she just didn't care. It was always about her anyway. With Jenny, I just think she was so hurt by everything that she never thought about the fact that she was venting in front of the kids.