Fantasy/dungeon punk/action 426k complete novel, looking for partial beta reads (or complete ones, if anyone dares)

[MiguelT]

Are you interested in enough heart-throbbing fantasy to monopolize your free time for a long while? You've come to the right place! The Flower Serpent Board is roughly as long as one book of the Stormlight Archives, for those used to this kind of fantasy door stopper, and it is filled with strange characters full of personality. Maybe just a tad too many of them. The good news is, the book has already been through considerable editing, so it should not be too harsh to get through. Just, you know, long.

Since it is such a big novel, I can't ask anyone to read the whole thing, though I sure would be grateful if you did. I am in dire need of a global, unbiased view on this monstrosity. But if you only want to commit to reading a fraction of it that's fine, I'll take what I can get. It would be more useful if you reached the end of a part before finishing, at least (part length broken up below). Then, once you get there, you can decide if you want to keep going or enough is enough.

Genre: Fantasy (dungeon punk/space fantasy elements), focus on drama and action, consistent humour elements.
Length: 426k words before character index and a potential glossary. Divided in parts that range from 15k words to 37k words
Category: Adult
Blurb:

Among a myriad worlds that flourish and wither under the care of flawed gods, there is one that offers the less divinely endowed a taste of true power. Of course, such a thing does not come for free. In the Flower Serpent Board, dog-headed titans, porcelain-faced necromancers and mossy-haired conquerors will clash their wits and might to win the grand prize, a year long reign in a world at their service. And then there are the vengeful monks and various other mavericks who don't care that much about it and do their own thing.

All of them seek their heart's desire in the contest of the demigods, the Flower Serpent Game. In its horrid marvels and marvellous horrors they may find it, or their doom, or something else entirely. But only one of them can win.

Part length (rounded down):

Part 1-16k, P2-34k, Interlude 1-5k, P3-21k, I2-1k, P4-27k, I3-6k, P5-33k, I4-6k, P6-33k, I5-8k, I6-8k, P7-35k, I7-8k, P8-37k, I8-5k, P9-33k, I8-7k, P10-30k, I10-6k, P11-32k, I11-5k, I12-2k, P12-18k, Epilogue-3k

Beta reading request:

What worries me the most is the pacing, particularly when it comes to the action and battle scenes, I need to know the places when someone might get bored, to smooth it over.

I would also like to know if there are any characters, scenes or even chapters that feel unnecessary. Any problems on the character arcs, world-building and plot would also be helpful to know. Of course, if you discover something I have not mentioned it please tell me, I will welcome all feedback.

The first chapter is too long and can get confusing because I was trying to do an artsy thing with it (never again, everyone complains about it), afterwards the pace slows down, so don't take it as representative of the rest of the novel.

I am not a native English speaker, but there should not be any glaring grammatical issues left by now. If you do notice some recurring ones, please tell me, though don't bother marking every single instance.

The ebook's formatting is not quite done and I have a general idea on how to make it better (or I will hire someone who knows how to handle it when it comes to it), so don't worry about it.

Of course, if there are things you do like about the novel, I'd love to know that too. I want to know if this is something people would want to read, since it's pretty far out from typical fantasy stories.

I know this is a big ask. Thank you for your time and attention.

[Jessica]

Erm, not to rain on your parade but I think it's going to very difficult to find people willing to read through your nearly half a million word book. I know Brandon Sanderson can get away with it but he's also an established writer whose first published works weren't half so long.

Might have better luck if you ask people to read just the first 3 chapters to start. A lot of a manuscript's issues can be sussed out within 3 chapters.

[MiguelT]

Jessica wrote: "Erm, not to rain on your parade but I think it's going to very difficult to find people willing to read through your nearly half a million word book. I know Brandon Sanderson can get away with it b..."

Well, I had to try. I've already had people read the first few on another site. I need more of a global view now. Still, might be worth to try something like 'read this first few, keep reading if it interests you'. That might be enough to identify a couple more early problem moments. Thank you for your honesty.

[Jessica]

Good luck! Big isn't always bad when it comes to books after all. If your first three chapters are awesome people will willingly read on. If not, well, it's a good place to start on fixing up such a massive story.

[Prafulla]

I like your blurb. It draws you in right away.

[MiguelT]

Prafulla wrote: "I like your blurb. It draws you in right away."

That's good to know. I've been making minor modifications to it for a while.