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Tuesday Reading Kaffeeklatsch 8/10/21
Theresa, i’m extremely appreciative of your comments about Andrew Cuomo. I agree that he saved New York and was a light for so many of us outside of New York who relied on his daily messages. But it was also disheartening for those of us who are not in an hour to learn about all of the escapades. That’s just been sad for someone who seems like a standup guy and a hero. The whole thing deeply saddens and shocks us. For my own news, I think it’s been hard to describe. In some ways I’ve tried to find some moments of detachment, and true relaxation, after a very charged 18 months and a very charged life. I think it’s quite hard to explain what it means to be a therapist and carry so much trauma around anyway, and then to have kicked in for this really challenging year and a half. And then on top of that this is the year and a half that I have worked so hard to get my son into college. And I must admit that has now leaving it’s emotional and hard for us, and while it’s been a very relaxing time it’s also been a behind-the-scenes incredibly busy one too. I’m trying to keep my practice together, but also be deeply relaxed in the afternoons and some evenings. I have taken some trips, had a beach day or two, and I’m going away for another couple days
I see my phone allows me to post very little. That said, my middle child is home from Israel, and he is wonderful to have around it really doesn’t disrupt the relaxation but we are picking up our oldest and our youngest this Sunday. I truly can’t wait to see them both and hope to have some family time along with the crazy maddening plan to get him moved into school, all the while working 30 to 4o hours a week. I’m excited to see everyone, but also prepping for the start of the school year. But for today I can be found at the pool, didn’t end up doing my labs. But I did finish the Rose Code and it was Amazing! Love to all of you and Happiest of Birthdays to everyone.
Happy early birthday!! I hope you clear up your sinuses and enjoy the time with friends when they visit.
It is freakin humid as hell here in Indiana as well, a legit sauna.
And looks like it will be tomorrow as well.
I saw the Cuomo news unfold, but like you said it was obvious he made a world of difference during the worst part (so far?) of the pandemic.
When the news initially broke though, as with any of these #metoo stories I immediately thought "yeah, duh."
I just assume all men in power have a lil scum in them. I cannot think of one celebrity or politician that would shock and disappoint me. Horrible to say, but... most of us have been women a long time 😂
@ Meli 😂-love that last line.Hot Humid here in Michigan as well. I had to wear a hoodie and jeans and spray myself down with EX-treme repellent to pick from my garden this morning, and I still ending up getting a lot of bites. It needs weeding and tending so badly, but it will have to wait...until fall because these mosquitos do not look like they are moving on for a while...
Andy's nasties made me sad and mad....
My parents are visiting this week. So, busy with work during the day and visiting (not just Mom and Dad, but other friends and family with them while they are here) in the evenings. Lucky for us, we are getting a bit "cooler" weather this week. Though there has been a small chance of rain for a few days, almost none has made it to the ground. :-(
Happy birthday celebrations for all.Hot not humid in CA, but more on that later.
Sorely disappointed in Cuomo. I remember when it first came out about Bill Cosby, as I had always admired him, I was so upset that he really was such a scumbag. It truly angers me that these men have such a sense of entitlement that they don't even feel what they are doing is wrong.
As for myself, I am continuing to work at cleaning out all of the extra accumulation from years of teaching and beginning to thin out some of the books which I have read and saved over the years with plans to donate them to the library.
I've been doing a little baking and recently made a cherry clafoutis, which is something I've wanted to make for years and years. It is extremely easy to make and quite delicious.
California is a hellscape. The drought has created very low levels in our reservoirs and in the second largest in the state the hydroelectric plant was taken offline because of low water levels.
The Dixie fire is now the second largest in the state's history and has burned the town of Greenville, luckily with no loss of life.
The fall of Cuomo is just like something out of Greek tragedy. A hero, revered by many and sure of himself ("hubris"), has a fatal flaw that eventually causes his downfall. Seems like it should be news when an important man in business, entertainment, sports or politics ISN'T a jerk!I have been feeling discouraged by the environmental news as well as the pandemic and political issues. I find it hard to believe that the world can come together to solve the climate crisis in time to matter. Very concerning for future generations.
Joanne wrote: "well. I had to wear a hoodie and jeans and spray myself down with EX-treme repellent to pick from my garden this morning, and I still ending up getting a lot of bites. It needs weeding and tending so badly, but it will have to wait...u.."Have you tried a beekeeper suit?
Theresa wrote: "Joanne wrote: "well. I had to wear a hoodie and jeans and spray myself down with EX-treme repellent to pick from my garden this morning, and I still ending up getting a lot of bites. It needs weedi..."Do you have one I might borrow, Miss Sassypants?
Robin wrote: Seems like it should be news when an important man in business, entertainment, sports or politics ISN'T a jerk!❣AMEN❣
Joanne wrote: "Theresa wrote: "Joanne wrote: "well. I had to wear a hoodie and jeans and spray myself down with EX-treme repellent to pick from my garden this morning, and I still ending up getting a lot of bites..."No Miss Smarty! But I think KateNZ might....I do think she has beehives and harvests honey.
I think it's really hard for powerful men to keep themselves from acting like jerks. They get so much direct attention when they meet people, they begin to think it's due to their sparkling personalities or sex appeal. They don't realize that all these people "kissing up" to them, don't actually want to kiss him. So they flirt, and people don't give them enough feedback to cut it out. The one thing that I don't like about the me-to movement is that it seems to equate all harassment with rape. Many women are physically forcibly raped, and many are coerced to have sex in order to keep their jobs (quid pro quo harassment). Those men deserve to lose their jobs, be publicly shamed, and sent to jail. But most harassment is like Cuomo's obnoxious flirtation.
Cuomo's harassment was much milder, and done in public. He is no Harvey Weinstein or Jeffrey Epstein (who sex trafficked teenagers) or the Prince who slept with teenagers supplied by Epstein. I'm not aware of any coercive relationships Cuomo had with employees (but I'm still more or less avoiding news media), or other discriminatory behavior in the workplace. At the same time, he should definitely know better, and his people should have felt empowered to get in his face about it. He's suffering the consequences of that now.
I always liked Kathy Hochul, and I hope she's able to get the job done.
Kathy Hochul is better known upstate NY. She has been basically invisible Downstate meaning mostly NYC. That is going to be a tough navigation given we are roiled by a mayorial election where the outgoing mayor is loathed across party lines, there is no obvious strong republican candidate showing up yet (election is in November), and the democrat who won the June primary is embroiled in all kinds of accusations of questionable financial shenanigans and even some investigations. Add in a COVID surge due to delta variant and the slowing of vaccinations to a crawl....Oh and let us not forget the fiscal crator left by a global pandemic ...
It is ugly.
But all that is just an ordinary day for most women.
Arguably the #metoo movement started specifically to call out sexual assault, not harassment but the larger discussion is that people think this behavior from men is OK, or they want us to let it run like water off a duck's back. Nah, men are not entitled to certain treatment from women. We don't need to smile for you, we don't need to laugh at your jokes, but most women accommodate because they are afraid. And that accommodation can slowly metastasize into much more dangerous behavior ... I am not sure anyone is out here claiming harassment is rape, I haven't personally heard that rhetoric, but I would argue that a sense of entitlement is a prerequisite to sexual assault. It is about power less than the sex. Do all men who harass rape? Certainly not. But an "it could be worse" mind set continues to allow this boy's club mentality where you gotta smile pretty and be accommodating and let some shit slide to be equal. Nah, they can f&%k right off with that nonsense.
This incensed response isn't directed at you, NancyJ! Just the patriarchy in general 😈
Happy birthday Theresa. I hope that you enjoy your special dayI spent the day with my sisters, brother in las and niece. Is We’re not all together very often so it was very. Nice. My younger sister lives on the lower east side ( of NYC) where I grew up so going down there is very special.
I’m relishing my remaining 4 weeks of summer vacation before I have to return to school. I’m reading a lot and seeing friends
Just finished Bridge of SighsvBd pondering what my next nooo will be.
As for Cuomo I feel dissapoitmemt but not shock. He always projected an air of arrogance andPowerful men do seem to feel entitled to objectify and harass women. But on the subject of repugnant actions by men, are any of you familiar with Jeffry Toobin. CNN commentator, prominent lawyer and author who masturbated during zoom call with coworkers and forgot camera was on
Sallys wrote: "As for Cuomo I feel dissapoitmemt but not shock. He always projected an air of arrogance andPowerful men do seem to feel entitled to objectify and harass women. But on the subject of repugnant act..."
Yes! I remember when that went down... wasn't he writing for the New York Times at that point? Or is that yet another masterbater?
He actually was writing for the New Yorker and was fired but CNN took him back!
NancyJ wrote: "I think it's really hard for powerful men to keep themselves from acting like jerks. They get so much direct attention when they meet people, they begin to think it's due to their sparkling persona..."He shouldn't have to go to jail, but it's high time this behaviour was brought to light and for people in power to not get away with it anymore, plus they ought to lose their positions because they don't respect all others (if they did, they wouldn't act that way). It happens in many levels of power. It isn't devastating the way forcible rape is, but it can still be humiliating and demeaning. Not playing along with idiots who do this can cost a woman much, as well.
This crappy behaviour is not limited to one political party, religion or non-religion, race, ethnic group, country, social class, etc.
The only time I have been sucker punched and shocked in a number of years was when I found out my dad is racist--he really and truly liked the friends my parents had of other races--they came as overnight guests, he respected them, but racism has more than one form.
I'm changing the topic from Cuomo (I'm also disappointed but not overly surprised) to let you all know my fiance had his pacemaker surgery yesterday. The surgeon said the surgery went great. My fiance is home and already feeling better. He's able to walk between rooms without getting winded which he hasn't been able to do for months. He is supposed to take it easy for a few weeks while he heals but it is amazing just seeing this much improvement in his health. I'm feeling happy and extremely blessed.
Rachel, that's great that the surgery went well! Hope your fiance heals quickly!
Rachel that is wonderful. Here is too a quick and healthy recovery.
Rachel N. wrote: "I'm changing the topic from Cuomo (I'm also disappointed but not overly surprised) to let you all know my fiance had his pacemaker surgery yesterday. The surgeon said the surgery went great. My fia..."Finally! I am so happy for both of you!
Rachel N. wrote: "I'm changing the topic from Cuomo (I'm also disappointed but not overly surprised) to let you all know my fiance had his pacemaker surgery yesterday. The surgeon said the surgery went great. My fia..."Great news!
OH, Rachel, that's great news. Hubby has had his pacemaker for a couple of years now. He's remarked more than once that it keeps him alive. As for Cuomo ... I'm disappointed but not surprised. 'Nuf said.
But I do feel that we need to do a better job of raising girls to be women who will comfortably and clearly say "NO, that's not okay." And mean it. Over and over I read women's stories where they report they felt they couldn't say anything. Speak UP! YOU didn't do anything wrong. Don't be ashamed.
That's amazing, Rachel, congratulations! If you look at how these women are treated when they speak up it's not wonder we don't. They get shamed, accused of lying, ostracized ... why would you ever speak out!?
Can we raise boys to be good men instead? Why is the burden on women?
Wonderful news Rachel! I am sure that it is a big relief for you and yours!
Rachel......so happy to hear your fiance's surgery went well. I'm sure you are both happy to have that stress removed.
@ Meli, agree-Parents need to instill into their boys what is correct behavior. Off the Cuomo topic....
Friends of the Library board meeting last night and instead of preparing for the week long Fall Book Sale we were planning, we were told by our county board that it could not happen. They are pretty sure the State will throw down stiff mandates again before that, because of covid and the spiking #'s. We had to move to plan B, a smaller, one day outdoor sale. *Sigh* will it ever end?
Is anyone in an area where vaccines are being required to go to gyms, restaurants, and indoor events? I had seen a couple headlines to that effect in NY (?) and California which kinda surprised me. In my area cases are spiking but in general it seems like we will carryon as normal. But I am also in a more rural, less populated area.
Meli wrote: "Is anyone in an area where vaccines are being required to go to gyms, restaurants, and indoor events? I had seen a couple headlines to that effect in NY (?) and California which kinda surprised me...."Yup. NYC has that requirement taking effect next week I think. Will check. May be all of NY. The pace of the vaccinations of the last 24% of NY States elible to be vaccinated has sped up a bit since that announcement. No longer quite as glacial.
Booknblues wrote: "Happy birthday celebrations for all.Hot not humid in CA, but more on that later.
Sorely disappointed in Cuomo. I remember when it first came out about Bill Cosby, as I had always admired him, I ..."
I'm so sorry that your area has been hit so hard. Do people there generally attribute it to global warming? It makes me so mad when I hear politicians talk about global warming as something we just have to adapt to. I heard one say the choices are to adapt or to destroy our economy. They think all the damage is occurring far away from us so why worry about it now. Do they think that fires and floods don't have a major cost?
Regarding Cuomo and Cosby, so far (and I hope in fact) it doesn't seem fair to put them in the same category. Cosby drugged and raped women who trusted him. I didn't want to believe it of Cosby at the time. While I feel sad about Cuomo, I hope it will show other men that there are real consequences to that behavior."
New York State
People (upstate and maybe elsewhere) have been complaining for years that all important decisions are made by the "three men in a room" (all white men). For the next budget the three people in the room will be (I think) A white woman, a black woman and a black men. I have a feeling there will be quite a few white men fighting for a way to get in that room.
Theresa wrote: "Yup. NYC has that requirement taking effect next week I think. Will check. May be all of NY. The pace of the vaccinations of the last 24% of NY States elible to be vaccinated has sped up a bit since that announcement. No longer quite as glacial."You'll have to update us on the execution of this at the next Kaffeeklatsch. I can't imagine how it could be enforced... up to the establishments to check as people come in? I suppose.
Here in the greater Milwaukee metro area, a group of local businesses (healthcare, entertainment, restaurants) sent out a joint message encouraging everyone to get vaccinated. I'm thinking that the restaurants, theaters, symphonies, etc are looking at a potential lock down again. They've
barely
survived the last 18 months. To be forced to abandon yet another season would probably spell the demise of some (of not many) of these companies.
Book Concierge wrote: "OH, Rachel, that's great news. Hubby has had his pacemaker for a couple of years now. He's remarked more than once that it keeps him alive. As for Cuomo ... I'm disappointed but not surprised. 'N..."
Yes, girls do need to be taught to speak up! But for so very long speaking up hurt careers and many other things because women were portrayed as leading the men on (not saying that never happens, of course) or somehow to blame for what happened. Prior to careers, it was their reputations, etc.
While I don't care much for her music and everything she does, one of three things Taylor Swift has done that I respect was when she to charged David Mueller when he groped her on that elevator. That's not rape, but it was a form of sexual assault.
NancyJ wrote: "Booknblues wrote: "Happy birthday celebrations for all.Hot not humid in CA, but more on that later.
Sorely disappointed in Cuomo. I remember when it first came out about Bill Cosby, as I had alw..."
I see both sides of this--we need to be more responsible regarding emissions (not just carbon emissions--other pollutants destroy plant life that helps turn CO2 back into O2, and that includes stuff that goes into water and the soil) , but we do need to adapt to global climate change (more accurate even though overall things ARE warming up) is something people have to adapt to because carbon emissions, are probably only one cause.
Also, plant more greenery to help use up CO2!
Balcony gardens:
Green roof laws in cities are good! Here's one in Toronto which has had this law in effect for some years now:
Meli wrote: "Theresa wrote: "Yup. NYC has that requirement taking effect next week I think. Will check. May be all of NY. The pace of the vaccinations of the last 24% of NY States elible to be vaccinated has sp..."I will. Fines to establishments who don't, I assume. That is what tbey have done to enforce mask wearing...and threatening lockdown and suspending liquor licenses wher that has impact.
I see it as no different than carding. At gyms once you check it once, it is entered in gym system and will pop up when you sign in. Some places will instigate a sign in system.
Since 9/11 we have become used to showing an ID and getting a pass to enter many buildings, most in fact. Or a security check. I don't see this as a problem.
A little more clarity on the entertainment situation here in NYC. Basically since 9/11, all major and not so major (i.e. off broadway) performance and sports venues have a security bag check and then a separate scan of your ticket before you can enter. Really small venues like theaters in basements and performances in churches didn't have the security searches but did scan tickets.
For those venues, checking vaccine info, especially if one of the apps where a QR code is read, will actually be simple to incorporate.
In NYC since restaurants could reopen for inside dining, most have been taking digital temps at wrists and squirting hands with sanitizer before letting you in. They will just substitute scanning and checking vaccine info.
It's not that hard to implement.
I think one of the problems with other places is the low level of vaccinations will diminish the number who can attend. NYC is at about 3/4 vaccinated - maybe higher at this point -- of those who are eligible. I'm pretty confident that the unvaccinated mostly are those who are not in a position to pay $200 for a theater ticket or $100 to watch the Knicks play.
Theresa wrote: " I'm pretty confident that the unvaccinated mostly are those who are not in a position to pay $200 for a theater ticket or $100 to watch the Knicks play. ..."You are right about this, and yet I have meet a surprising number of educated, affluent people who aren't vaccinated because it isn't FDA approved. Of course, some of them might be listening the the egregious "Dr."Ruby, not a medical doctor but a former Nurse Practioner, who was citing a scientific study apparently done in Spain that is bunk. She does the conservatives no favours with this garbage.
When in doubt I have the luxury of asking an uncle who is an expert in a related area and spent his career doing oncology research at one of Canada's leading science universities (not necessarily one Americans have heard of because it's north of the border). Also a sister who is an MD with access to studies not found in the mainstream media. Both are in favour of the vaccine and my uncle saved me a lot of research time by pointing out that that one study has not been verified and a link to where I could find the ingredients in the Pfizer one.
Rachel N. wrote: "I'm changing the topic from Cuomo (I'm also disappointed but not overly surprised) to let you all know my fiance had his pacemaker surgery yesterday. The surgeon said the surgery went great. My fia..."That's great news, Rachel!
Rachel N. wrote: "I'm changing the topic from Cuomo (I'm also disappointed but not overly surprised) to let you all know my fiance had his pacemaker surgery yesterday. The surgeon said the surgery went great. My fia..."I'm really happy for you both. Here's to a speedy recovery!
@Theresa - that makes sense. Doesn't sound as hard as I envisioned in my mind. But some of those practices are non-existent where I am at. However, if you were to be fined, like you are if you serve alcohol to underaged kids, then I assume the establishments themselves would find a way.
Does anyone know if Anita is away or sick? I don't see a vote for next month's tag. I hope all is OK. I wouldn't mind using this tag again next month.
I've private messaged Anita the same thing! I'm wondering too.
I just learned from a friend that restaurants and venues in Vienna and, presumably, elsewhere in Europe, have been requiring proof of vax for some time now to enter - at least 2 or 3 months. @Meli - the analogy to proofing age is a good one. Even in rural small towns, carding age for drinking exists. Failing to do so risks stiff fines, loss of licenses.
This is really no different. Of course with restaurants, you can choose to eat outside or take out and avoid having to show it.
Meli wrote: "That's amazing, Rachel, congratulations! If you look at how these women are treated when they speak up it's not wonder we don't. They get shamed, accused of lying, ostracized ... why would you ev..."
This!!!! Can we raise boys to be good men instead?
As long as it stays a woman's issue, we are sunk.
I have a busy social week coming up next week between my birthday and friends being in town for a few days whom I have not seen since well nearly 2 years! Thus I need to get these sinuses of mine back under control! Not been as assiduously taking the antihistamines as I need to be.
While not really intending to enter into a political discussion at all, I do feel the need to comment on Gov. Andy's fall. He announced a short while ago that he's resigning amid the charges etc. of harassment and misconduct. Lt. Gov. Kathy Hochul will become governor, and with it, NY's first woman governor. In case anyone wonders how a supposedly liberal blue state has gone so long without a woman governor (basically sticking with white males), it's because we are not a blue state except in federal elections where NYC carries the state. We are a purple state as everywhere but NYC are pretty much solid conservative red republicans. Much of our state government was republican for decades.
As for Gov. Andy - I truly believe he saved us during the last 18 months/COVID. He was the only adult in the room, and NY wrestled it under control thanks to him (certainly not thanks to NYC useless mayor). BUT, it's been an open secret that he is basically a mean vindictive SOB who carried grudges and his work environment was toxic for all, male and female. Anyone trying to leave his administration had to do so in strictest secrecy, basically starting their new job before informing him of their departure as he'd blackball them. I know this from first hand accounts of harassment (not specifically sexual harassment). What I have always wondered was why no one ever spoke up, came forward, especially during the "Me Too" movement. Until now when he's most popular and was likely to get reelected for a 4th term in a landslide.
I still wonder.
Now I need to just finish a couple of projects and end my day.