Three months to escape euthanasia - critique swap

[Jordan]

Hi everyone,

I want to forge a partnership with you so that we can both become better writers and have committed to beta-read one novel cover to cover with full critique.If you have written a plot-driven novel that is in the thriller, adventure or dystopian genre then we may have the building blocks of a great partnership!

I will provide feedback line by line and each chapter based on the following scoring system:

Hooked?: start the book at 1/5. 1 = I am reading only as a courtesy, 5= I literally had to do another chapter
Clear: 5 = I don't need to go to a prior page to understand something
Flowing: Are there any jarring sentences
Distinct: How distinct are the characters in the chapter
And then a general comment on what makes you want to read the next chapter or put the book down


My novel
It's 2070 and the heavily indebted US government is now overseen by the Board, a collection of 12 CEO's who now make up the nations biggest lenders. Competing is considered treason and Quill Killian sees his family business confiscated by the government. Plunged into destitution, Quill's family have three months to escape the Government's mandatory euthanasia program.

First three chapters https://docs.google.com/document/d/1I...


Please note I am blunt with pros and cons. Nothing personal but I feel constructive criticism is the only way we will improve our writing skills (please do the same for me!)