Christian had the right to ask if Ana got pregnant on purpose. Ana careless and here’s why I’m not mad at him. (Am I really the only one)

[Amber]

(*May contain Spoilers from all Fifty Shades Books)

Okay I had trouble giving this discussion a title. Especially since it’s clearly an unpopular opinion NO ONE has ever discussed which I’m very surprised about.
And I’m aware it will be controversial but please don’t hate me.


Listen first of all based of off one clip I saw of the movie when Christian was mad at Ana for ‘missing her shot’ I thought he was a bit out of order. And then I saw lots of Christian hate from the book because he was mad and stormed off for some hours. So based off that I hated him too.

But now I’ve read the whole book and honestly I’m more on Christian’s side.
Here are some points why:

1. It’s just a question “Did you forget or did you do this on purpose” - he does have the right to know.
2. Ana stupidly missed 4 shots FOUR, she has been missing her shots for like 14 weeks that’s a lot.
3. She has been putting these appointments on the back-burner and ignoring the calls from her doctor.
4. She actually NEVER told Christian she missed Four appointments and her last shot was “over 13 weeks ago”, she actually carried on letting him believe it was 3 or 4 weeks ago. And try to convince him that a shot could’ve been a dud. Pfft
5. She put her SIP work assistant solely in charge of these appointments. These appointments are important and personal, she should’ve put these in her personal phone and flip calendar herself at home.
6. She would get really rather pissy at Christian for refusing sex with her when he ran out of condoms (before she was on birth control), she’s be all “Oh Christian you are so frustrating I’m so mad at you for making me so hot and not making love to me, right now”😂. Like seriously this guy wants to be safe and not get you pregnant, if that’s not obvious, he’s actually verbally mentioned it.
7. Even though Ana wants sex all the time including spontaneous sex all the time, she was acting a little pissy when Christian wanted her to be on birth control. It was dumb for her to be so stroppy about this. I mean he can’t carry condoms in his pocket all the time. It’s just about being safe ect.
8. Christian did say he didn’t want kids yet. One day not yet
9. She knows Christian is the kind of guy who likes to talk things out and plan things, obviously he’d be shocked and upset - I think he had the right to walk out and process things by himself, and calm down, he was only gone for a night, he came bk, he was always going to come back.
10. This does sound like a betrayal of trust - I’m not saying, it was done on purpose. it wasn’t.
11. If the role was reversed Ana would be just as angry

*12. Oh and when she was on the pill and stopped taking when the broke up, she neglected to tell Christian even though she was pursuing him for sex. Luckily Christian the brains of the relationship, asked her if she was still taking it, before they did (that’s when he turned down sex with her)

*13. She never learned from her first pregnancy scare, she even said she was more concerned about his reaction, and when he replied “naturally I’m relieved, it would be bad manners to knock you up” she snapped and said “maybe we should abstain” which first of all like Ana could, 2nd he’s only being honest, this mood she was in makes it seem like she’s having a lot of sex with with (not only because she likes it) but to also get herself pregnant, it does actually seem that way.

Add that stuff up, I’d wonder too

So my point is, everyone is mad at Christian for the way he acted like Ana was so innocent when actually she is very careless.
And everyone is mad at Christian for “accusing her of doing it on purpose”
He wasn’t accusing her, he just simply questioned her.

And I just want to add one thing to this rant: Ana never once thought about what she’d be like as a mother, all she cared about was Christian’s reaction.

If Ana has sex with almost anyone else, she’d get pregnant sooner. Many guys won’t be so careful.

But Christian was fine about it shortly after anyway, obviously

[Greattt!]

Amber wrote: "(*May contain Spoilers from all Fifty Shades Books)

Okay I had trouble giving this discussion a title. Especially since it’s clearly an unpopular opinion NO ONE has ever discussed which I’m very s..."

I completely agree with you!!! Most people have so much protagonist bias and are so quick to jump on the Christian hate train. To add on to your points...

Yes, Christian does have a right to be angry. Sure, as much as people hate it, I thought it was very reasonable that that was his reaction.

People in other threads counter-blame Christian to be at fault for her pregnancy (or at least partly); they say if Christian is so controlling, he would've kept track of her birth control also. Like what??! These same people would STILL just accuse Christian of being even more controlling if he DID keep track. Which one do you want? Make up your mind!!! It's almost always a lose-lose situation with Christian when people discuss things that he does.

Now when they had that argument next morning, Ana had a line in her narration where she was surprised about how Christian can still be mad at her after seeing Elena. I'm not denying he is bad for seeing her, but how can Ana expect him to be all right about a baby, a current issue in the storyline that will affect the REST OF THEIR LIVES, compared to seeing Elena, a temporary problem? She literally doesn't have her priorities straight. Not only that, she also doesn't give him a chance to explain himself. After Christian explained himself SO MANY TIMES whenever Ana asked in previous chapters and the other two books, she can't even do this at the minimum??

Then she makes the whole argument all about Christian as if he has no right to be mad about her pregnancy. She yells at him something along the lines of "well I can't be perfect like you!!!" like are you suffering from memory loss, or are you a dumbass, or what? You fixed him, he admits it, he knows he's a fuck-up, he struggled growing up in a "perfect family", and that's what you say? Lol, if anyone here can't be perfect like YOU Ana it's Christian. Stop talking like you're a princess. You also accused Christian of always overreacting in the second book, but without sorting out anything you say you want all your belongings moved out of the room. You are a hypocrite, and as much as most people hate to admit it, Christian needs Ana A LOT MORE than she does him. She knows how much she means to him, so here, a lot of people may not notice, but she is also playing with Christian's vulnerabilities (and it actually isn't her first time).

And I thought she was supposed to be "strong"? To sum up their argument, there were only like three sentences that were actually about the pregnancy. The rest is just Christian being wrong. In other words, she was just ignoring him, deflecting away from her own mistakes, then counter-blaming him. How is this someone standing up for themselves? It's manipulation. Like Christian says in his perspective, she IS being a complete bitch. And like another person in another thread suggested, if she did keep track properly and the shot still failed, she could've just said that, but she didn't. She knows she didn't keep track of her pregnancy properly. She knows that she is wrong, but she doesn't admit it, and because "u always wrong so im also gonna make u wrong this time I HATE B*TCH TROLL y u see her?? boo u im gonna be a complete dick and put all the blame on u". So much for a "strong" girl???

We also know that Christian had a problem with self-loathing and because of his childhood, he thinks that he deserves to be beaten (he says this in his "bedtime story"). Right after the argument, we now go on to a period of them barely communicating with each other. If you read at this point of the story in Christian's pov book, you can see the tactics Ana used worked. His anger about the pregnancy suddenly fades away, and now he believes he is in the wrong!!! Now HE IS THE ONE worried and fearful. He's blaming himself from this point forward because it's suddenly all on him. Just more proof that Ana is a manipulator.

When he talks about this whole incident in his "bedtime story", he shushes Ana up whenever Ana admits that she was wrong as well. It just proves again that he does blame himself, yet she doesn't call out on it because she doesn't realize it, or because she is directly involved, or both. Why did he suddenly become fine with her pregnancy? Why is he willing to take all the blame? He didn't actually learn and Ana is literally encouraging him to go backwards.

To sum it up, people are quick to say Christian is THE manipulator in the trilogy. I'm not denying this entirely, but it's actually also come to the point where it's the same with Ana. When you have a character with as much power as Christian Grey who basically surrenders themselves to another character who is basically a whiny brat who also happens to be the protagonist, you now have a spoiled character who is always "right" and always gets what they want – in this case, Anastasia Steele.

[Amber]

Great wrote: "Amber wrote: "(*May contain Spoilers from all Fifty Shades Books)

Okay I had trouble giving this discussion a title. Especially since it’s clearly an unpopular opinion NO ONE has ever discussed wh..."

P1. Agreed: And If I was a man I totally react the same way, and let’s be honest if the role was reversed, and Christian was the woman and Ana was the man, oh God, no one would hear the end of it, Ana would be so terrible to him, and much more louder about it too, she wouldn’t allow him any emotion.
P2. Oh yeah, that’s true, I completely agree, people are frustrating. It’s like also saying, he couldn’t trust Ana, if he had to track her birth control, which is also saying that Ana isn’t trustworthy, which in a way proving that it was Ana’s fault, but they won’t admit it.
(I will tell you I was guilty of blaming Christian for this, I use to say things like “He should’ve wrapped it up, to prevent a pregnancy” etc. TBH I wasn’t nice about this situation, I used to think it was that typical “Man blames the woman thing” but I was ignorant, I think I saw other comments and watched the clip on youtube, but once I read the books, you see that throughout he never had or wanted unprotected sex. (Until Ana skipped 4 shots without telling him).

P3. Exactly, the argument was all about him seeing Elana, which I do understand, and I’d ask questions too, but TBH he doesn’t have many friends (That’s not a bad thing) and many people are still friends with their ex’s, they were over long ago, Christian is devoted to Ana, he just needed a moment to chill. I mean ask the questions about your meeting with Elena, but Ana got way too nasty, and she again started being horrible to him about when he couldn’t let her touch him, spitting out “Ironic isn’t it” she just claws and claws.
P4. Yeah I think it was “God forbid I’m not perfect like you” I agree with it all. But I’m unsure if Christian needs Ana more than Ana needs him, I think because it’s not mentioned explicitly, people think this. But I think Ana does need his just as much, she’s always talking about how Christian makes her feel confident etc, I think that’s it, and I also get the impression Ana wasn’t comforted growing up, when she was sat on Christians lap she said in her head that her and ray never had that, maybe that’s why I’m always crawling into Christians lap, I also think she somewhat lacked many emotions before Christians, Christian makes her feel everything, that’s just one example.
P5. Yeah, and she like you said did not have her priority’s straight, Christian was ready to talk things through and fix things (after ONLY spending what like 4 hours away that night? Why can’t we give him that?) Ana was just being a little Sh*t making fun of him for, acting like an adolescent (no that’s you Ana) and talking about anything other than, where do they go with their relationship from here, and the baby, the only times she mentioned the baby was when she was mad at Christian for asking if she did it on purpose, mad at Christian for fucking up, and basically saying that he needs to get over his problems with his birth mum, and she’ll “do it with him or without him” (She would not be a good single mother, I just know it) – but it was a horrible thing to say when Christian is saying “What about us” it’s horrible to suggest taking the baby away from him, basically just because he saw his ex-friend, who he had a relationship with that ended 6 years ago.

Lol. I love your sarcasm.
Also even if that shot did fail, people seem to ignore that fact that she also missed 4 shots after that, so if that shot didn’t fail she would’ve ended up pregnant anyway, she also failed to tell Christian about that too, I think she felt guilty because at that point, she didn’t know if the shot had failed, because they said “could’ve”

P6. I’m not there yet on his POV. But I can imagine, whoa
P7. Ah, I never even fully thought of it this way tbh, now I do. I always felt that Christian became fine with the pregnancy, simply because he’s accepting because it’s happening, And after Ana was in a coma he was scared for her life, and the baby’s life, and even though he didn’t plan for a baby so soon, he still loves the baby. But yeah it’s weird that he never questioned it, and took all the blame, and never let go of the shitty feeling, for the argument that morning.
P8. I’m a little iffy in saying Christians a manipulater (I’m aware it’s a very unpopular opinion) but things were wanted, negotiated and agreed upon with both parties. He’s not perfect ofc and somethings he should’ve not done, but he never had ill intentions v’s Ana who intends to make him feel shitty to make herself feel better.

I very much enjoyed reading all your points, thank you.
I had one more to add, but I kinda made my replys way too long

[Arathy]

In the movie, Christian asks Ana to go to a drawer and take a silver thing before they do "it", just before she gets pregnant, can anyone explain me that? What was it? *Uhm uhm*

Haven't read the books fully so I don't know if Ana is manipulative, but I think the whole argument with Ana and Christian regarding Elena and the baby, in the grand scheme of things adds more punch to the ending of the story, especially regarding the movie.

Christian thinking Ana might be leaving him when she asks for such a large amount of money from the bank and everything.. it's all just part of a story you know??

Now that I see that Ana missed 4 shots in the books, it seems purposeful. And the author wanted to take the heat off her or make her seem good so put Christian in a situation that's bad. I don't think married men should go to their exes. I mean I don't even think Christian would do something like that.. first of all it's a dick move with how it could potentially endanger his relationship with Ana. (Secondly didn't he like cut her off and everything at the end of Fifty shades darker movie?) So I want to believe it's all just part of the storyline..