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[angela]

Missing the Leap

TW-Suicide, depression, violence, mental health, etc

Take the leap,
my mind whispered.
Take the damn leap!
I screamed to myself.

But I didn't.
I didn't take the leap.
I didn't let my feet leave the cliff.
I didn't let my body fly,
soar above the river.
I didn't let myself die.
I didn't let myself leave this world,
this torture,
this hell,
I didn't let myself find peace.

Why?

Because I was an idiot.
Because I was a coward.
Because I was afraid.
of what would happen after I left.

Would I die,
my mind quiet and my soul free?
Or would there be consequences,
for my selfish decision?
That was what I thought,
but I should've taken the leap.

I should've taken the leap then and there.
Because it is a decision I regret.
I have regretted it for so long,
and I will regret it for the rest of my life,
I think about it day and night,
how I regret not doing it then and there.

What a fool I was then,
I didn't know all the consequences of living
after they catch you after you attempt suicide.
I haven't been able to have any alone time,
parents watching me,
making sure I'm not hurting myself.
Visiting therapists
many times a week,
it's tormenting.

And let's be honest,
if I was to have the freedom,
I don't think I could jump.
I don't think I could die.
Because I have lost my confidence.
Because I don't think I deserve to die.
Because I think it is just,
being tortured and being forced to live,
that it is fair,
because I didn't take the chance when I had it,
so why should I have another?

Why would I deserve another?

[[deleted user]]

oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to anything more

[angela]

mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to anything more"


Thank you♥
ahhh yes

Most people don't know how much of this is true and how much of this is fiction

But...

it's
mostly
true

[[deleted user]]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to anything more"


Thank you♥
ahhh yes

Most people don't know how much of this is true and how much of this is..."

of course love<3

yeah, ik how true it is
are you okay?

[angela]

mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to anything more"


Thank you♥
ahhh yes

Most people don't know how much of this is ..."

its not the bad atm

was this morning and last night...

[[deleted user]]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to anything more"


Thank you♥
ahhh yes

Most people don't know how muc..."

i'm so sorry love<3
have you talked to anyone?

[angela]

mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to anything more"


Thank you♥
ahhh yes

Mo..."

no :)
I feel a little better now so that's good

[[deleted user]]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to anything more"


Thank you♥..."

you really should love
try to, please
getting help can actually help

[:D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk)]

mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to anything more"

same this was deep

[:D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk)]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: ":D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk) wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "DAMN MY MATH HW"

I HAVE MATH HW Rn SADLY
what are you learning currently"

hmm its the practice summ for

Alg..."

oh if you need help i could help

[angela]

mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
never related to..."

nah im good

thanks tho

[[deleted user]]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
nev..."

i know it's terrifying
i know
but if you have the access to and ppl who support you, you should talk to someone

[angela]

hmmm i dont want to talk about this so...
hmmm

hmmmm
im trying to write a review

[angela]

for a torch against the night

[angela]

and im being lazy and NOT WRITING THE REVIEW

[angela]

okay ill write the review now

[[deleted user]]

go go go write the review
the amount of reviews i need to write and edit...
lol

[angela]

AHHH DONE WITH TORCH AGAINST THE NIGHT-

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2...

[:D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk)]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "oh shit cloudy
i love everything about that
i have chills
nev..."

np

[:D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk)]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "AHHH DONE WITH TORCH AGAINST THE NIGHT-

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2..."

IM READING IT RN

[[deleted user]]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "AHHH DONE WITH TORCH AGAINST THE NIGHT-

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2..."

YESYESYESYESSSS
i read it
the boat at the end being addie larue UM YES
I LOVE THAT BOOK<33

[angela]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "AHHH DONE WITH TORCH AGAINST THE NIGHT-

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2..."

the blog post for this

https://bookishcloudy.wixsite.com/hom...

[angela]

blog post for An Ember in the Ashes

https://bookishcloudy.wixsite.com/hom...

[angela]

mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "AHHH DONE WITH TORCH AGAINST THE NIGHT-

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2..."

YESYESYESYESSSS
i read it
the boat at the end being add..."

haha yessss

[angela]

:D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk) wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "AHHH DONE WITH TORCH AGAINST THE NIGHT-

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/2..."

IM READING IT RN"
OMG WISHING YOU LUCK

[angela]

Chain of Gold review on blog

https://bookishcloudy.wixsite.com/hom...

[angela]

got 2-6 reviews done toda

[angela]

and im impressed

[angela]

night yall

[angela]

see ya tmrw

[angela]

llets hope i dont die from the sci summative

[:D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk)]

morningg yall

[angela]

morning oyin :)

[:D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk)]

haiii

[angela]

Party Poison wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "got 2-6 reviews done toda"

This reminds me that I still haven't written a review for Misery

Shit"

ahhh my reaction exactly

[angela]

Party Poison wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "llets hope i dont die from the sci summative"

Death isn't allowed, so you better not ):<"

oh
yall
I already failed

and you are looking at my ghost

[:D o y i n :D (CURRENTLY OBSESSED WITH AOT iykyk)]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HAPPPYY 100 CLOOOOO

[angela]

ahhh 💖

[Hershey]

Helo helo

[angela]

Party Poison wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "Party Poison wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "llets hope i dont die from the sci summative"

Death isn't allowed, so you better not ):

oh
yall
I already failed

and..."
00
o

[angela]

AWW THAT GHOST FACE FAILLEEEDDD

[angela]

Aashi wrote: "Helo helo"

helo

[angela]

ah ah asdkfja;lskfja;skdjfa;ksjdalk;jfdalkdjfaksjdfalkjfdaldsjfakjsf;alsjkdf

[angela]

i am truly disappointed in myself

[angela]

ive been having fun w this website and was wondering if someone wanted to do a private game with me

skribbl.io

[angela]

https://skribbl.io/

[[deleted user]]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "https://skribbl.io/"

*sobs bc the website is blocked*

[angela]

mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "https://skribbl.io/"

*sobs bc the website is blocked*"

...ahh...when you school hasn't blocked this website

:)))))

[[deleted user]]

༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "https://skribbl.io/"

*sobs bc the website is blocked*"

...ahh...when you school hasn't blocked this website

:)))))"

my school blocks e v e r y t h i n g
except gr ofc

[angela]

mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "mary wrote: "༓☾ᴄʟᴏᴜᴅʏ☽༓ {hiatus} wrote: "https://skribbl.io/"

*sobs bc the website is blocked*"

...ahh...when you school hasn't blocked this website

:)))))"

my schoo..."

yes that's gooooooddd

mine too

but yandex games

try that one

and skribbl is super fun

tho I love kicking ppl out haha