YA Query Help

[Steph]

Hello all!

Just seeking some feedback for my query. Let me know what works, doesn’t work, if it doesn’t cover the right amount of info a query needs, etc. Thanks!

Query:

Cursed by her aunts to sleep until she’s kissed, but cursed to die if she’s kissed, sixteen-year-old Svetlana Solokova only knows about the world through the dreams of others she visits on a nightly basis.

Yet when her mother, the High Priestess of Kivarya, is murdered and she suspects her ambitious aunts are at play, Svetlana recruits the talents of Ilya Vastokov, a mysterious assassin who has haunted the city for centuries.

Ruthless and capable, Ilya is everything Svetlana needs to avenge her mother and break her curses. But what she doesn’t take into account is Ilya’s deep-seated hatred of priestesses like her, worsened by the fact she’s blackmailing him into helping her under threat of revealing his identity.

With just days before her body deteriorates due to her mother no longer around to preserve it, Svetlana must kill her aunts and break her curses while working alongside an assassin who wants her dead.

But the two of them are faced with a nigh-impossible task. Namely, how does one kill her aunt Militsa, a seer capable of seeing the future?

Those without Dreams is a YA fantasy Russia-inspired retelling of Sleesping Beauty told through four POV characters. It is complete at XXX words with series potential.

(Bio)

[Author56]

Hi Steph,
I think this query letter is really good, and the story also sounds extremely interesting. The only thing I might change is some of the run-on sentences like "With just days before her body deteriorates due to her mother no longer around to preserve it, Svetlana must kill her aunts and break her curses while working alongside an assassin who wants her dead." That could be split in two or three, to give it a faster sense. But other than that I really like this.

[Steph]

Author56 wrote: "Hi Steph,
I think this query letter is really good, and the story also sounds extremely interesting. The only thing I might change is some of the run-on sentences like "With just days before her bo..."

Thank you for your feedback! I appreciate it!