Goodreads Authors/Readers discussion
Romance
>
ARC Request for Reviews: Vengeance With Maybe Some Fava Beans
date
newest »
newest »
So are you saying this is a dual first person narrative? Is this Jae person the one she wants revenge on?
no, Jae is the k-pop idol She's going after the kids at her school
I hope you write the book better than you explain it. Did you try to find a publisher?
Ouch.I'm self-publishing. If you read the first bit by Rin, I attempt to state clearly that Rin meets a K-pop idol and he offers to help her to take down the jerks at Oxford Academy.
Based on your response, I don't think this is a story you will enjoy. I should also let you know that the main characters are not white. This is an interracial relationship, and I take into account relationship vectors that are considered appropriate in certain Asian cultures.
I'm writing to deal with the stress of the current pandemic, and this story may not be something that appeals to you. I appreciate your feedback and will attempt to be clearer in the future.
Have a nice day.
You're right, it's not the kind of story that would appeal to me. I was just wondering if you're sure it's ready to be published. How many times have you edited it? If I had to ask a question about your book description, then something isn't clear. Are you always going to say, well, if you don't like how I wrote something, then you're not one of my readers anyway?
Dear Monette,Nope. But I reread it and couldn't understand how I could be clearer. Additionally, I had my 8-year-old read it, and he understood what was happening. It's an ARC, so it isn't published yet. Thus, I was requesting possible feedback before publication. The writing is targeted to a younger audience, by the way. Hence, my younger son reading the blurb.
My comment on you not liking it was something I inferred based on your words. By your words, I simply could tell this was not something you would want to read. Hence, it was my feedback to you. If you have any ideas on how I could have made it clearer for you, that would be highly constructive. I understand that you believe you are being constructive already, but I lack the wordsmithing know-how .
Well, first of all, I asked if this was a two-voice first person narrative. Now what that means is that you have two different people talking in first person. Those are very difficult to pull off. I've done one like that, but my agent advised against it. It's also possible to "over-talk" when you have any first person narrative. I have a vampire series that started out third person, I switched to first person, and now, based on some publisher's advice, it went back to third person. So consider the idea that the confusion could come from that. Second, based on what you told me, you could write your book blurb this way: Rin was mistreated at Oxford and is out for vengeance. When she meets a K-Pop star who recently moved to America and agrees to help her she ...
You see what I'm saying? Even if you have two first person narratives, the blurb doesn't have to be written that way. I also note, with a second read of this, that you don't mention the antagonists at all. I suggest you go see my book blurb of "Dinner at Marshall Field's at www.grimm2etc.com - she's my first person character. There are all kinds of ways to write a book description. You could try a different way - but only if you want to. You don't have to listen to me at all. Just don't respond.
I could send you the ARC if my new poetry collection “Touch My Head Softly.” Let me know.
Eileen wrote: "I could send you the ARC if my new poetry collection “Touch My Head Softly.” Let me know."Yes, would you? I love poetry, too. Thank you!
https://booksprout.co/arc/56152/venge...
Rin:
I'm the girl who wants vengeance on the jerks who messed with me at Oxford Academy. He's a K-pop star moving back to America after his image takes a blow in Korea. We meet under less than optimal conditions, and he offers to help me under one condition. Pretend to be his girlfriend long enough so the media focuses on his redemption arc. Frankly, I'll agree to anything if it means I can make the Kings and Queens of Oxford Academy pay.
Jae:
I started my career in the US. It seems fitting, after losing dual citizenship status in Korea, to return back now that I'm nearly nineteen. My motives for helping Rin aren't altruistic. The jerks at Oxford Academy do deserve to be taken down. But I'm here because I want her to see that I'm the one she wants. Except she's still in love with one of the so-called Kings. And most girls who fantasize about me don't understand the cost of being famous. Everything has a price.