What to do when you're feeling frustrated with editor feedback?

[T.K.]

I hope I don't sound too whiny here, but this content editor's feedback is just really rubbing me the wrong way. She makes a lot of good, technically sound points, but I feel like her tone is just way too condescending, and sometimes her notes even come across as sarcastic. I appreciate when she points out when something isn't working story-wise, but she seems to do so in a way that rubs it in my face more than necessary. She seems to lean more on the "criticism" side of "constructive criticism", and not only is it not the way I prefer to be communicated to, but it's making this next draft more frustrating and stressful than I wish it could be.

I'm not saying I don't want an editor to tell me what's not working with a manuscript. But my editor for my last two books was way more friendly and polite about it, and I felt like she actually understood my writing style more and what I was trying to do with the stories. I'm just not clicking as well with this editor.

This isn't really an actual question. I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else has had any similar experiences. Maybe commiserating and laughing about it will help me get through her feedback a little easier.

[David]

If you have any choice, change editors. If you don't pray for her that she be anointed to help you.

[T.K.]

David wrote: "If you have any choice, change editors. If you don't pray for her that she be anointed to help you."

Solid advice, thank you. I'm afraid I've already paid her for her services, and I do value a lot of what she said on a technical level so I don't think a refund is in order. I think she does need some prayers, though. Maybe a lot of prayers.

At any rate, I don't think I'll be hiring her again. For my next book, I think I'll see if my previous editor will be available. You know those times when you find an editor who just totally gets your work, and not only knows how to fix it, but just plain likes it a lot and makes you feel like your writing is actually good despite its weaknesses? That was this previous editor. She is definitely worth more than she let me pay her.

[T.K.]

Another thing that's helped me is to pray for clarity in my own mind concerning this feedback, and to be able to see past how the editor says things to focus on what she's saying I need to fix and how to apply it to my next draft. I may not be able to change the tone of feedback she's already given me, but I can at least adjust my attitude toward it.

[David]

In my experience, it is rare to find an editor like your old one.

[T.K.]

David wrote: "In my experience, it is rare to find an editor like your old one."

That's good to know. I definitely would have hired her for this book if she had been available. I think for my next book, if she isn't immediately available, I'll definitely consider waiting for her schedule to free up. She's worth the wait.

https://www.facebook.com/charmingscri... FYI, here is her business's FB page if anybody ever wants to hire her. This page mostly focuses on her screenplay consultation work, but she does novels as well. I know her in real life and she is just a fantastic human being as well as being a really solid editor. :)

[T.K.]

I just wanted to add that after blowing off some steam, and lots of prayer, I'm feeling better about this editor's feedback. While I still don't agree with some of it, she does know what she's doing when it comes to story construction and I appreciate that she was very meticulous in pointing out the story weaknesses so I could fix them.

I found it got better when I stopped paying so much attention to how she was saying things and focused more on what she was trying to say. She may not be super friendly and nice like my favorite editor, but she did a great job for an extremely affordable price, and took much less time than I was anticipating, and I am really grateful to her for that.

At the end of the day, the point is that I got this manuscript edited, and that is fantastic. I have historically had problems securing content editors, and for a few books hired editors whose turnaround took pretty much literally forever (one of them took a year to get back to me...). So I would much rather work with an editor who, though a bit brusque, gets back to me in a matter of weeks so I can move forward with my books in a timely fashion.

Thanks for letting me vent, everybody. :) Often, just getting your feelings out and getting them validated can be a huge step forward in processing them.

Blessings!

[Stan]

T.K. wrote: "I just wanted to add that after blowing off some steam, and lots of prayer, I'm feeling better about this editor's feedback. While I still don't agree with some of it, she does know what she's doin..."

Have you actually talked to her, or is it all e-communicaiton? Sometimes it is difficult to perceive what is going on in written communication - whether the sender or the receiver has an attitude.

If you've talked on the phone or through a conference call type software, that would be easier to perceive if she were intentionally condescending.

Either way, have you mentioned how her communication makes you feel? Have you identified enough in her communication for you to point out specifics?

My brother-in-law has been a Christian counselor for 30+ years. He often tells people that they are the ones who set the boundaries for how people communicate with them. Just something to think about.

[T.K.]

Stan wrote: "T.K. wrote: "I just wanted to add that after blowing off some steam, and lots of prayer, I'm feeling better about this editor's feedback. While I still don't agree with some of it, she does know wh..."

Good points, and I appreciate your insights. I've only ever had e-communication with her, so it is difficult to accurately gauge how she was intending to sound in her written notes and emails. I actually have not even been in direct communication with her--she works for an editing group as the specialist in my book's genre, so when I emailed the group's director with the job, the director passed the manuscript along to her resident sci-fi editor. I've only ever directly spoken to the director, and I have not been in communication with either of them since receiving the editor's notes and thanking them for the job.

It is very possible that this editor does not realize that sometimes she comes across as condescending and is not intending to sound arrogant. Some of her notes do sound like she's trying to be friendly and inject a little levity, so that's good. I remember when I was younger and tried to help people with their writing in critique sessions, I didn't know any better and communicated my feedback in a similar fashion, which I regret now. Once, I accidentally hurt someone's feelings pretty badly with some critical feedback, and I felt terrible about it. It helped me try harder to be aware of how I give critique and try to spin it as positively and constructively as possible.

At any rate, I imagine it's sort of difficult for an editor to not sound condescending when they're pointing out writing quirks that would be unacceptable to most publishers, like my abundant use of exclamation marks. I feel like those were the times in her written notes when she sort of stopped meeting me on my own playing field and treated me more like a first-time writer, when I had previously told the director of the group that the manuscript was the first draft (i.e. a comparatively rough pass) of my sixth novel (i.e. I have considerable writing experience).

Still, I think it would have been better to say something more along the lines of "I noticed some of your characters use a lot of exclamation marks in their speech--FYI, exclamation marks are frowned upon by most publishers nowadays, so that's something to be aware of if you ever decide to submit this to a traditional publishing house" than "You have WAY too many exclamation marks, they just stuck out at me and disrupted the reading, and you need to get rid of ALL of them because they are just totally unacceptable in professional literature", which is more along the lines of what she actually wrote.

That being said, you're right, this is a boundary that I need to take into consideration. As a professional - an indie professional, but a professional - I don't appreciate being talked down to, and I do have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about people thinking I don't know what I'm doing just because I'm unconventional. If I ever buy editing services through this company again, I might have to have a chat with the director about her sci-fi editor. It's possible this editor is super nice in real life and there was just a miscommunication in tone. She was also working around the holidays, which I know can be stressful for some people, so perhaps she wasn't feeling her pleasantest when she got my manuscript.

Dealing with complex human beings (including myself) can be one of the toughest parts of the whole authoring process. Thanks for your comments, and I'll definitely keep trying to figure this situation out.