January 2021 - Song of a Captive Bird

[Marie (UK)]

I have finished part 1 (view spoiler)[ the wedding (hide spoiler)] I don't think there is much to add to what i have said before although (view spoiler)[ I was surprised that Furugh 's father went and negotiated marriage with the Parveer's mother.. With the virginity certificate I felt sure they would hold out for a boy they wanted. Was it because she locked herself in and refused to eat OR was it because he wanted her to be happy? I am not sure (hide spoiler)]

[Marie (UK)]

Well I guess my comment is going to be controversial. I am through chapter 17 end of part 2

(view spoiler)[ I feel great compassion for Furugh but at the same time I don't think she is totally blameless. I am conflicted but I feel she has a very selfish side, an element where what she wants trounces everything else.

Her mother in law is a difficult unlikeable person who it is obvious has no love for her and no desire to develop any sort of familial relationship. I don't think the same can be said of Parveer - he seems unable to express what he feels and I think this is partly the fault of Furugh. From the moment their relationship stepped from being a flirtation between 2 young people with similar interests to an arranged marriage she almost shut herself off.

That is not to say that there may be more that I am missing under the surface but her trips to Tehran, her over arching desire to be published, her constant leaving of her son all contribute to the way the story line develops. It is very difficult to change a cultural regime (however wrong) from the inside and ultimately I still have great sympathy with Furugh her inner being just cannot wait to be let out. BUT i think it will and MUST mean giving up other parts of herself. It also must affect those around her, even though they are contributing to the regime I do believe some of these people love and care for her.

The mental hospital (or other institution) is a common means of dealing with people consider what we in societies we think more open minded did to people who had children unmarried / or people born with physical or mild mental impairments. I am not saying this makes it Ok just what it is.

For me there are shades of grey in this narrative which is wonderfully written

I am interested to see what sort of person that turns her into (hide spoiler)]

[Jenn]

I finished this a couple of days ago, and have been trying to corral my thoughts ever since.

This was a hard read, a kick in the gut from first page that took me all month to read.

Long - These are my very long thoughts after finishing the book.

(view spoiler)[I have a hard time with books about real people, where research is done, but a work of fiction results - The Tattooist of Auschwitz being a prime example - If you are going to do years of interviews why write a fiction :( So, I did a little research on Forugh before I even started, and cheated and read the afterward as well where the author talks about "fleshing in" around the documented facts of Forugh's life. So, I let that go when I went to read.

Ok, so I have now written, and rewritten this half a dozen times. . .
I have a really hard time wrapping my liberal, white, feminist brain around the religion/culture/society of that part of the world. Where to start with this, the fact that no one, including her questioned the right of the father to beat the stuffing out of her, her sister, her mother . . . The fact that she had no value (or honor) without her virginity, and the woman who took it (accidentally) had to lie about it to save herself. I think her courtship of Parviz probably looked like a way out, and he was cute with similar interests - bonus. When she did her hunger strike, her father seemed to have already identified her as "willfull" and probably made it happen so that she would be somebody else's problem. But seriously, she was a 16 year old with a crush. Then a 17 year old with a baby, in a isolating marriage that was lacking trust (that one was on her, but she was a child trying to protect herself . . .). Then someone shows an interest in her work, and her body . . . oh wait, she's only 18-19, with no real world experience and less than sound judgment . . . not surprised that backfired. Now she makes the press as a wanton female, off to the asylum - not at all uncommon, and not that long ago. No surprise that she loses access to Kami, (if he had been a girl, there might have been a chance) the MIL would never have let the male continuation of the family go. Enter Layla who already has strikes against her as a woman with opinions and the gall to live alone, but she has had the protection of family connection and money, but together of course they are lesbians, why else would women live without men . . . I am amazed either of them survived through that situation. It sounds like she had something good with Golestan? But, I am so sad for this young woman who never had a love of her own, her husband belonged to his mother, Kami was taken by the MIL, to Nazzer she was a fling that brought him fame, Golestan already had a wife. Amazing that she had the strength to persevere and to share her world through her arts. I wonder what the rest of her life would have looked like if she hadn't died (and I prescribe to the theory that she was killed). Says alot that her grave is a site of pilgrimage . . . (hide spoiler)]

[Marie (UK)]

I have finished this, I enjoyed part 1 much more than part 2. I think the author realised her book could be more than 700 pages and the latter half felt rushed and more ethereal (if that is the right word).

(view spoiler)[ I found the bits describing the death of layla, her conversations with her mother and the realisation that her son can no longer be described as her son the most harrowing. But i did feel a bit cheated by its lack of depth (hide spoiler)]

Overall i did enjoy the book and I would never have picked it up without this group. I struggle with books that contain Poetry among the narrative but the audio helped with that - maybe i don't get the cadence right when reading it to myself. I am not unsympathetic towards Furough but I am also unsure whether her approach to her problems was the best. I liked that the author of this book showed all sides of her character that it was a rounded narrative. I am inclined to look for more from the same author

[Marie (UK)]

Jenn wrote: "I finished this a couple of days ago, and have been trying to corral my thoughts ever since.

This was a hard read, a kick in the gut from first page that took me all month to read.

Long - These a..."

I think her father just washed his hands of her - yes there was some physical punishment as a child but i think it was more mental as she matured. Is mental punishment harder to deal with than Physical - i think it is

[Katrisa]

Marie (UK) wrote: "Well I guess my comment is going to be controversial. I am through chapter 17 end of part 2
"

I don't disagree with you (view spoiler)[ that Forugh definitely made some choices that could be considered selfish. It's unfortunate that she had to be in the position to either pursue her poetry or keep her family.
As far as her husband - I feel like she was willing at first to be more of a partner to him, but I feel like he is the one who sgut the door on that on their wedding night when she tried to tell him why she didn't bleed. I wonder what might have been if he had trusted her more. (hide spoiler)]

[Katrisa]

Jenn wrote: "I finished this a couple of days ago, and have been trying to corral my thoughts ever since.

This was a hard read, a kick in the gut from first page that took me all month to read.

Long - These a..."

Pretty much sums up my thoughts as well!

[Marie (UK)]

Jenn wrote: "I finished this a couple of days ago, and have been trying to corral my thoughts ever since.

This was a hard read, a kick in the gut from first page that took me all month to read.

Long - These a..."

I love your thoughts Jen and I like that you have researched before read - I never do that though I find it colours my thoughts. I might look up things after or even sometimes during a read. I love how reading widens your knowledge so dramatically at times.

I think authors wrap these stories into fiction because they will reach a wider audience as non-fiction is simply ignored by some readers

[Grainne]

Jenn wrote: "I finished this a couple of days ago, and have been trying to corral my thoughts ever since.

This was a hard read, a kick in the gut from first page that took me all month to read.

Long - These a..."

Yes! She had such a short life but it was a busy life.

[Jenn]

Oh, yes, yes, and yes lol

Marie, I have a really hard time with poetry as well, especially when it has been translated. I find that it completely loses it cadence, and sometimes the meaning as well.

Abuse? (view spoiler)[ It is such a culture of abuse, that I think it all kind of rolled together, the men because they were expected to, and the women for the only sliver of power or control they were likely to have in their life. Brutal in my mind :( (hide spoiler)]

Age - (view spoiler)[ I had to keep reminding myself that she was a child for a good portion of the book. Yes, her wedding night seemed to set the tone for their marriage, I wonder what a little preemptive communication would have done to change that? Maybe nothing, but . . . But, she was a 16 year old with a BIG secret, and he was a 27 year old who didn't want a wife, and was expecting a virgin . . . I agree that there were some flawed choices being made, but that is why we have older age limits for so many things, because the brain hasn't finished growing out of immature decision making patterns (some never do). I am just sorry that hers came at such a high price. (hide spoiler)]

I am glad that I did research her first, and I don't think that it took anything away from the read. Sometimes it can save me a lot of frustration if I know that a work is based on some facts but generally a work of fiction. Like The Tattooist of Auschwitz, seriously, she interview the actual man for something like five years, and still wrote a work of fiction :( For this one, (view spoiler)[ the author acknowledged that she fleshed in around documented facts for flow of story, and left some things out (like the child she adopted) as there wasn't enough reliable documentation surrounding the events. And, I am so glad that she looked at the question mark surrounding her death. Some reports have her as swerving to miss a bus but resulting in her accident, but that happened previously, and what are the chances of two such similar incidents? I find it far more likely that she was killed, it might have been intended just to frighten, but I doubt it. (hide spoiler)]

I have learned sooooo much from my adventures with this group, both from the books themselves and from the subsequent discussion (I am not a great sharer, but I am working on it) :) So, thank you all :)

[Vicki]

I finished the book a few days ago. I don't have anything much to add. (view spoiler)[It is amazing that she adopted a child and I agree with the author that it sounds like a whole other book could have been written on her.

I was a bit disappointed that Layla wasn't exactly based on a specific person. She was such a beacon.
The most depressing thing is how the situation there got even worse for women after Forough's death.

I was quite glad her relationship with her mother improved so much. She needed go mature to see the position her mother was in (hide spoiler)]

I havent spent much time looking up her life yet. I was avoiding spoilers. I would like to watch her films