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Becoming Duchess Goldblatt
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Staff Pick - Becoming Duchess Goldblatt by Anonymous
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The two of you are the reason I added this one to my TBR.
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Anyone that knows me would see that this book is one of the most uncharacteristic that I have ever chosen to review. With the kind of dispiriting year I (we) have had I wanted something atypical in my reading matter, something that shed a little (a LOT of) light and love on my outlook before it ended. I think I can safely say that ‘Becoming Duchess Goldblatt’ succeeded in doing that more than just about any great classic book that I might ordinarily choose at this point in time so on that score, ‘MISSION ACCOMPLISHED’.
So what is ‘Becoming Duchess Goldblatt’ and who is this character, Duchess Goldblatt? She is a fictional character that dispenses advice much like weekly newspaper columnists Ann Landers and Dear Abby from earlier eras. She also utters witty bon mots reminiscent of Oscar Wilde if Oscar Wilde had been dipped in a syrup made of surrealist poetry. She also has an avatar that is historical—a real painting from 1633 by Frans Hals titled “Portrait of an Elderly Lady”. There’s actually much about this duchess that bears no resemblance whatsoever to an elderly lady from 1633. She is as modern as her creator.
Who is her creator aside from someone who wants to remain anonymous? The subtitle of this book is “a memoir” so is it the life story of the duchess or the life story of Anonymous? Actually, it’s the story of both of them. Anonymous is female, a writer and editor for a publishing company who ran into enough dark nights of the soul to equal a few years. Her husband divorced her after being unfaithful for much of their marriage and insisted on joint custody, which upset her more than the breakup of the marriage. She considered herself and her eight-year-old son to be twin souls. She had an older brother that was bipolar and always needed constant care. The only bright spot in her childhood was her beloved, wise father who died before he could walk her down the aisle. In short, most of her life has been somewhat of a mess.
Feeling isolated and wanting to connect with people and yet retain her introvert’s shell, she created this witty mouthpiece to speak through on Twitter. Duchess Goldblatt is a venerated literary figure, author of the classic memoir, ‘An Axe to Grind’, very much a person that enjoys being ‘ON’ and the center of attention, also very compassionate and happy to generate joy. Most of these characteristics would not be the way anyone would describe Anonymous and yet all of this sprang from her imagination.
A few samplings of the duchess’s witty aphorisms:
“New Year’s Eve, steam the new year in a pot of water with a bay leaf. Any months that don’t open on their own are no good. Throw them out”
“When I edit, I remove the words that don’t want to be there, hand wash them in warm water, and lay them flat to dry. I might use them later”.
“Slide a piece of waxed paper between the left side of your brain and the right side to keep them from squishing together and confusing you.”
Information travels through the Twitterverse like wildfire and soon Duchess Goldblatt is corresponding with a few real-life notables such as author Elizabeth McCracken and singer-songwriter, Lyle Lovett, one of Anonymous’s all-time favorites. Lyle and the duchess become correspondents and Anonymous even lets down her guard and reveals her identity when he invites her to be a guest at one of his shows and she meets him afterwards. She and Lyle become very good friends and he is the first person to encourage her to write her book.
After Duchess Goldblatt becomes such a Twitter celebrity, the life of Anonymous begins to change as well. She becomes more productive at her job, outperforming all of her co-workers. When her boss tells her she did what should have taken her four hundred hours in sixty-seven hours and he’s trying to figure out a way to explain that to the board she tells him the universe is sending him a sign that he should give her a raise.
Lyle Lovett is a very wise man, at least as he’s presented in this book. He is the person that encourages Anonymous to write her book; he makes suggestions but exerts no pressure on her; he is able to be a friend without imposing any obligations or demands. He also realizes the impact of a figure such as Duchess Goldblatt and recognizes her importance as an imaginary confidant.
She is a dispenser of much wisdom and hope. Of course, she also gets a bit too whimsical for my taste but there are far worse things floating around in the ethernet these days. While I’m very curious to know more about this narrator, to have a name, a solid identity, a face to go with the name, I respect her need to sustain the anonymity. ‘Becoming Duchess Goldblatt’ is a very dynamic illustration of how one person transformed her life through the power of her imagination and, by extension, the lives of any who are willing to be sucked into the Goldblattian orbit.