Part Four: The Axiom of Equality

[Vicky]

Let's discuss part four here!

[Mike]

Okay. This book! I need someone sitting beside me reading this as well, so that I can turn to them every few pages and just say "Oh my god. This is crazy. Did you just read that part?" I'm not done with Part Four yet, but Jude and Caleb's relationship is horrible, sad and frustrating... and I needed to come here to share. I can see how reading this book can devastate people.

[Mike]

This section started out with the frustrating relationship with Jude and Caleb, and everything spiraled downhill from there. Damn...when you think things are as bad as they can be, the book delivers another punch. These stories from Jude's childhood with Brother Luke are crushing and somehow worse than I imagined. This is an intense read.

[Vicky]

Ok I just finished this section and....just whoa. Like you said Mike, I can totally see how this just devastates people. I have especially struggled with the self harm stuff. I had to skim read the suicide attempt because it was a bit much for me. Jude’s relationship with Caleb had me so angry, and I was also deeply saddened that Jude felt like he deserved that kind of relationship and couldn’t do any better. He’s just so broken. And then the sections where we saw Jude’s past and his time with Brother Luke...it was what I imagined but somehow still hit me hard. This book is just a lot! No tears have been shed, but I feel...I don’t know what I feel honestly lol. There’s a quote from Harold that I wrote down that sort of sums up my feelings of the book so far:
“I felt so many things at once together, they combined to make nothing, a numbness, an absence of feeling caused by a surplus of feeling.”
On to “the happy years”, though I feel like there’s going to be nothing happy about it.

[Mike]

I agree, Vicky. Jude feeling that he deserves to be treated badly is heart-wrenching. I highlighted his quote on one of the reasons why he cuts..."sometimes it's because I feel happy, and I have to remind myself that I shouldn't". Damn. This book does an amazing job of showing how deep and ingrained this kind of trauma can impact a person.

[Michal.F]

'The axiom of equality' phrase and Yanagihara's definition will haunt me forever. I read the majority of this book section on a plane and I could NOT put the book away, because, ironically, it felt like I had nowhere to escape. It was just me and 'A Little Life'. Unfortunately, once we took off, Caleb appeared. I felt nauseous during the entire 2-hour flight, I felt trapped, miserable, all shaken... if you enjoy this sort of emotional rollercoaster, take this book on a flight with you, but it's not the best sensation. Love the book, though.

[Jennifer]

Oh my gosh! What the heck did I just read?!? Wow you talk about some seriously rough reality! Caleb is a piece of trash, that needed to be sent to jail. So sad that Jude felt so responsible as the fault of everything bad out there. This is definitely the section of the book that people probably stopped, I've seen so many people say they couldn't finish it, it was to emotional. I'm not even going to get into Luke, the deep side of me will lose it, but he has to go!!! I'm so glad the next section is titled The Happy Years.