Hello, I’ve just started writing a story called Vincenzo’s Bambina and was hoping to get some feedback on a little bit of the first chapter. I already have more chapters written but I wanted to at least see if this story would be interesting to read. All feedback is welcomed.Sorry for the long post. Thank you and have an amazing day!
Description:
"Mr.Vincenzo, you need to stop following me." The woman says angrily "Who says that I'm following you, bambina." "You've been following me for twenty-five minutes!" "There are dangerous people in here." "In the grocery store, it's nearly empty!" She exclaimed He shrugs while simply stating, "You never know what could happen."
"Vincenzo, just leave it alone" "I will not dolcezza, they manipulated and tortured you so they will pay"
Tu sarai mia, Vincenzo thought to himself
Kamirah Jones, a regular girl that goes to work, comes back home and does it all over again. Unexpectedly she gets caught up in murder while trying to reach her goal. Her peace of mind and happiness.
Vincenzo Aresco is a well known man all over the world, especially in Italy. He knows what others do not. He knows what Kamirah is capable of. He craves her...badly.
(A little bit of chapter 1):
The young girl ran as fast as she could to complete her mission. To get out of the house quickly. "You ruined my life, you pathetic, ignoble little girl. It's all of your fault! They're going to haunt you forever!" The man screams at her as he chases her, and pulls the trigger of the gun.
Kamirah wakes up quickly, right before the bullet hits her. "It's happening again," the twenty-three-year-old woman mumbles to herself, as she pants and sweats profusely. She sighs as she looks at the clock seeing that she has only gotten four hours of sleep. She closes her eyes for a second, now remembering the rage on the man's face. She throws the covers off of her body while getting out of the bed. The young woman stumbles into her bathroom to the counter, closing her eyes and throwing cold water on her face. "It's just another day Kamirah, you got this" she says as she looks into the mirror trying to encourage herself. She starts to prepare herself for the busy day ahead of her.
After turning on the hot water for her shower, she thoroughly washes her face then brushes her teeth. She stops scrubbing her body down and steps out of her steaming hot shower, drying herself off and applying her cocoa butter cream on her body. Realizing that she's running late, she hurriedly puts on her undergarments, and her outfit for today, consisting of semi-formal clothes. She rushes out of her room, quickly grabbing her keys and heading out of the door. Ensuring that the door is locked, Kamirah gets into her car and speeds off to the office. She swiftly puts her car in Park as she pulls into her regular parking space at Russo's Software Development LLC.
"Good morning Mia," the young lady says to her co-worker sitting behind the receptionist's desk in the main lobby "Good morning Kamirah, James isn't in quite a good mood today," Mia stated as she watches her close friend rush to the elevator door "He never is," Kamirah says quietly, thinking of the manager of her department as she steps into the empty elevator, repeatedly pressing the button for the elevator doors to close.
While the elevator doors begin to open, she quickly steps out, as soon as her foot hits the floor located outside of the elevator doors she hears James yell,
Thank you and have an amazing day!
Description:
"Mr.Vincenzo, you need to stop following me." The woman says angrily
"Who says that I'm following you, bambina."
"You've been following me for twenty-five minutes!"
"There are dangerous people in here."
"In the grocery store, it's nearly empty!" She exclaimed
He shrugs while simply stating, "You never know what could happen."
"Vincenzo, just leave it alone"
"I will not dolcezza, they manipulated and tortured you so they will pay"
Tu sarai mia, Vincenzo thought to himself
Kamirah Jones, a regular girl that goes to work, comes back home and does it all over again. Unexpectedly she gets caught up in murder while trying to reach her goal. Her peace of mind and happiness.
Vincenzo Aresco is a well known man all over the world, especially in Italy. He knows what others do not. He knows what Kamirah is capable of. He craves her...badly.
(A little bit of chapter 1):
The young girl ran as fast as she could to complete her mission. To get out of the house quickly. "You ruined my life, you pathetic, ignoble little girl. It's all of your fault! They're going to haunt you forever!" The man screams at her as he chases her, and pulls the trigger of the gun.
Kamirah wakes up quickly, right before the bullet hits her. "It's happening again," the twenty-three-year-old woman mumbles to herself, as she pants and sweats profusely. She sighs as she looks at the clock seeing that she has only gotten four hours of sleep. She closes her eyes for a second, now remembering the rage on the man's face. She throws the covers off of her body while getting out of the bed. The young woman stumbles into her bathroom to the counter, closing her eyes and throwing cold water on her face. "It's just another day Kamirah, you got this" she says as she looks into the mirror trying to encourage herself. She starts to prepare herself for the busy day ahead of her.
After turning on the hot water for her shower, she thoroughly washes her face then brushes her teeth. She stops scrubbing her body down and steps out of her steaming hot shower, drying herself off and applying her cocoa butter cream on her body. Realizing that she's running late, she hurriedly puts on her undergarments, and her outfit for today, consisting of semi-formal clothes. She rushes out of her room, quickly grabbing her keys and heading out of the door. Ensuring that the door is locked, Kamirah gets into her car and speeds off to the office. She swiftly puts her car in Park as she pulls into her regular parking space at Russo's Software Development LLC.
"Good morning Mia," the young lady says to her co-worker sitting behind the receptionist's desk in the main lobby
"Good morning Kamirah, James isn't in quite a good mood today," Mia stated as she watches her close friend rush to the elevator door
"He never is," Kamirah says quietly, thinking of the manager of her department as she steps into the empty elevator, repeatedly pressing the button for the elevator doors to close.
While the elevator doors begin to open, she quickly steps out, as soon as her foot hits the floor located outside of the elevator doors she hears James yell,
“Miss Jones, my office now!"