KOTLC discussion
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Keefe’s New Ability Theories
okay, so Jack Frost's hair color is different and a bit neater than Keefe's, I never said they looked exactly the same
you said they looked the same ._-
ǟɛʀօ wrote: "It's AMAZING!!!!! you definitely should. Jack Frost is basically Keefe"nuh, I didn't
Mod
I DON'T FREAKING KNOW!!!!!!! I check for any news about it, but there isn't anything!!!!
Mod
*hyperventilating* we THOUGHT it was gonna be on the 13th, so I got all my friends hyped up, but nooooooo, it didn't come out yet!!!!
calm down, it's gonna come eventually...RIGHT?!?
Turns out the cover doesn’t come out for 50 years and we are all old people before we finally get to see it. Sorry guys! ;)
Skyler wrote: "I knoooooooow I’m dyiiing"
slowly but surely.
slowly but surely.
Mod
Ro glared at me from the corner. I just had to endure yet another debate on whether or not to stay on bedrest. You would have thought that I was crushed by a T-rex, but no I just had a small fight with King Dimitar. “I only broke a FEW bones, besides everyone else is going to Nightfall without me!” I whined. “You can’t help Sophie by breaking your ribs again, besides I thought you said you were maxed out on adventure for a while.” I smirked “Fine, besides I can’t look good for the ladies if I’m still not completely better right?” Ro shook her head and started to paint her sharp nails a bright orange.
Oooooh that’s amazhang! How are you so good at writing?
Mod
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What exactly s this assignment? It sounds like fun XD
Mod
Well, we have to pick a "celebrity"/movie/book character, and we have to make them witness a crime scene, it has to have their voice and it has to be in first person. Still not sure what type of crime I want to do but if you guys have suggestions I'm up for them :)
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It’s sounding great so far! Definitely share it with us when you’re finished writing!! :)
I LOVE writing! Right now I’m working on writing a fantasy novel. If anyone would like, I can share the first chapter with you guys :)
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Keeper Of the Lost Cities: Nightfall: Keefe’s perspective:
With thanks to Shannon Messenger and Story From Keefe's Perspective
Ro glared at me from the corner. I just had to endure yet another debate on whether or not to stay on bedrest. You would have thought that I was crushed by a T-rex, but no I just had a small fight with King Dimitar. “I only broke a FEW bones, besides everyone else is going to Nightfall without me!” I whined. “You can’t help Sophie by breaking your ribs again, besides I thought you said you were maxed out on adventure for a while.” I smirked “Fine, besides I can’t look good for the ladies if I’m still not completely better right?” Ro shook her head and started to paint her sharp nails a bright orange.
As soon as Ro lost attention about our argument, I quietly took out my pranking Elixirs and slipped some into Ro’s drink. I knew that would keep her away for a little bit. I started to smirk again when Ro looked up. “Let’s make a bet, I bet that you will leave that bed and if you do, you have to guzzle a whole bottle of Gurgle Gut.” I needed to play cool so I accepted besides sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. “Yeah, but if I don’t leave this bed, you have to get a tattoo that says “Don’t insult “THE HAIR.” Ro seemed satisfied “Deal.”
Ro continued to paint her nails with complete interest. I started to slip off the bed, as a master mischief maker, I knew that I had a chance of getting away, but it was small. “You better get back in bed before you have more than just your ribs to worry about.” “You wouldn’t….” I started. Ro jumped to her feet “Try me.” I lay flat on the bed until Ro sat back down. That went well, I thought. I was I supposed to be everything Foster needed me to be if I couldn't get out of this bed!
I was about to give up when Elwin light-leaped to check on my progress, he flashed a bright blue orb then a hot pink one. He told me that if I stayed in bed a little bit longer I could probably start walking around soon! Then he left to talk to Ro. Now was my chance, Ro had downed her glass of “lush-berry juice” filled with some of my elixirs that would keep her in the bathroom for hours!
I tried to get out of the cot but as soon as I let go of the bed, I sucked in a breath as the pain overwhelmed me. I forced myself back up and clamped my teeth together to stop from screaming out the pain shooting from my still-not-fully healed ribs. By the time I got to the door, I could hear Ro shouting curses at me, I smirked as I thought about how long she would be staying away. With Ro out of the way all I had to worry about was getting out of Alvar’s stinky apartment.
It felt like forever before I found out where Ro had put my home crystal, put it in my pocket to come up with a plan. I silently hoped that Sophie hadn’t already left without me, I lifted the crystal to the light and appeared at Candleshade, the disgusting home that I had grown up with brought back memories that I never wanted to have again.
I drew a deep breath before opening the door. I knew that my father wouldn’t be there, but I still expected to see his disappointed glance at his unaccomplished boy. I shook my head to clear the sharp memories flooding into my mind. I didn’t need my horrid mother or my disappointed father, this mission I could do alone. I started to limp forward when I felt a shiver run down my spine, I spun around, as quickly as I could without falling over from the searing pain in my side. I saw a small scroll on the ground next to the front doors. I looked around before slowly picking it up, how did anyone know I was here?
As I opened the letter I realized it had an eye symbol, it must be from my mother! I thought as I tore it open inside was a small note written in my mom’s loopy handwriting:
Keefe,
I will be at Mysterium at nightfall (pun intended) tonight. There is a few things I need to talk to you about. Oh and Keefe, I suggest showing up, or your precious Sophie might suddenly disappear. Do you really want a second Wanderling for your young friend?
I really am doing this for you,
Love,
Mom
I re-read the letter, what did my mom want me for that bad? But I couldn’t risk Sophie’s safety so I made up my mind to go. When I finally reached Mysterium, there weren’t many people around. I took that as a good sign as I stood waiting. I started to give up when the night seemed to drag on. My ribs were killing me and Ro would find out where I went sooner or later.
It was then that I saw her, my mom was in a heavy cloak. She seemed to be swallowed in the darkness surrounding her. I slowly crept over to her when she shot out of the darkness, she ran right past me to another man in a matching black cloak. They were talking when Lady Gisela raised her voice. She seemed to be mad at the man, I wasn’t sure who he was, but he didn’t seem to be part of the Neverseen. I tried to creep closer to the man, when Lady Gisela grabbed him by the neck. “We have to find her to find my son! He must fulfill his legacy!” The man seemed to nod through her grasp but she didn’t falter her hold. “You have failed me for the last time, but I can’t let you go, so I guess this is goodbye. The man fell limp and my mother let go. She brushed her hands on her dress before pushing the man into an alleyway. She let out a sigh as she rubbed her temples muttering about a washer. Why had my mother committed such a horrible crime, I knew she was bad, but…why? No wonder she needed a washer to erase the memory!
“Whoa, back the T-rex up! What just happened to that man?” I couldn’t help asking. She looked startled but then smiled “He is nobody you need to concern yourself with, now I need to speak with you.” I looked at her then at the man, this wasn’t good. I stepped back and whispered “What do you want from me?” Lady Gisela looked at Keefe and then continued “You think you are smart with your act with the Neverseen don’t you? Well, I figured my son would do something reckless like that. When will you learn that you must try to be what I need you to be!”
I was confused, my mother had never needed me before except for the legacy she kept talking about. She started to continue when she heard footsteps “You must go! I will get a hold of you another time. She pulled out my home crystal as I looked back at the man’s body one more time as I leaped away.
Ro had figured that I stopped at Candleshade because when I got there she was standing with her hands on her hips. “Looks like you lost your bet, I have some gurgle gut back by your bed.” I sighed as she leaped us back “home.” When we made it back Ro made me explain everything. “Just don’t tell the others about my mom’s crimes. I don’t want Sophie to hate me.”
“Trust me, nothing will make that girl hate you.” Ro answered with a teasing smile.
Mod
It's really good! There's only one thing that really needed fixing, and that is that every time another person talked, it's a new paragraph. That's it!!!
Mod
Ya, I tend to do that
Can I
Can I do the grammatical stuff
please
I
I need to
Can I do the grammatical stuff
please
I
I need to
Keeper Of the Lost Cities: Nightfall: Keefe’s perspective:
With thanks to Shannon Messenger and Story From Keefe's Perspective
Ro glared at me from the corner. I just had to endure yet another debate on whether or not to stay on bedrest. You would've thought that I was crushed by a T-rex, but no, I just had a small fight with King Dimitar. “I only broke a FEW bones, besides, everyone else is going to Nightfall without me!” I whined.
“You can’t help Sophie by breaking your ribs again, and I thought you said you were maxed out on adventure for a while.”
I smirked. “Fine, besides, I can’t look good for the ladies if I’m still not completely better right?”
Ro shook her head and started to paint her sharp nails a bright orange.
As soon as Ro lost attention about our argument, I quietly took out my pranking Elixirs and slipped some into Ro’s drink. I knew that would keep her away for a little bit. I started to smirk again when Ro looked up.
“Let’s make a bet. I bet that you will leave that bed and if you do, you have to guzzle a whole bottle of Gurgle Gut.”
I needed to play cool, so I accepted, and anyway, sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. “Yeah, but if I don’t leave this bed, you have to get a tattoo that says “Don’t insult “THE HAIR.” Ro seemed satisfied. “Deal.”
Ro continued to paint her nails with complete interest. I started to slip off the bed, as a master mischief maker, I knew that I had a chance of getting away, but it was small.
“You better get back in bed before you have more than just your ribs to worry about.”
“You wouldn’t….” I started.
Ro jumped to her feet “Try me.”
I lay flat on the bed until Ro sat back down. That went well, I thought. How was I supposed to be everything Foster needed me to be if I couldn't get out of this bed?!
I was about to give up when Elwin light-leaped to check on my progress. He flashed a bright blue orb around my torso and then a hot pink one. He told me that if I stayed in bed a little bit longer, I could probably start walking around soon! Then he left to talk to Ro. Now was my chance. Ro had downed her glass of “lush-berry juice” filled with some of my elixirs that would keep her in the bathroom for hours!
I tried to get out of the cot, but as soon as I let go of the bed, I sucked in a breath as the pain overwhelmed me. I forced myself back up and clamped my teeth together to stop from screaming out from the pain shooting from my still-not-fully healed ribs. By the time I got to the door, I could hear Ro shouting curses at me, but they were empty threats. I smirked as I thought about how long she would be staying away. With Ro out of the way, all I had to worry about was getting out of Alvar’s stinky apartment.
It felt like forever before I found out where Ro had put my home crystal. I put it in my pocket and tried to come up with a plan. I silently hoped that Sophie hadn’t already left without me. Lifting the crystal to the light, I leaped to Candleshade, the disgusting home that I had grown up with that brought back memories that I never wanted to have again.
I drew a deep breath before opening the door. I knew that my father wouldn’t be there, but I still expected to see his disappointed glance at his unaccomplished son. I shook my head to clear the sharp memories flooding into my mind. I didn’t need my horrid mother or my disappointed father, this mission I could do alone. I started to limp forward when I felt a shiver run down my spine, I spun around, as quickly as I could without falling over from the searing pain in my side. Spotting a small scroll on the ground next to the front doors. I looked around before slowly picking it up. How did anyone know I was here?
As I opened the letter, I realized it had an eye symbol of the Neverseen. It must be from my mother! I thought as I tore it open. Inside was a small note written in my mom’s loopy handwriting:
"Keefe,
I will be at Mysterium at nightfall (pun intended) tonight. There are a few things I need to talk to you about. Oh and Keefe, I suggest showing up, or your precious Sophie might suddenly disappear. Do you really want a second Wanderling for your young friend?
I really am doing this for you,
Love,
Mom."
I re-read the letter, thoughts racing through my head. What did my mom want me for that bad? But I couldn’t risk Sophie’s safety, so I made up my mind to go. When I finally reached Mysterium, there weren’t many people around. I took that as a good sign as I stood, waiting. I started to give up when the night started to drag on. My ribs were killing me, and Ro would find out where I went sooner or later.
It was then that I saw her, my mom, in a heavy black cloak. She seemed to be swallowed in the darkness surrounding her. I slowly crept over to her when she shot out of the darkness, she ran right past me to another man in a matching black cloak. They were speaking rapidly when Lady Gisela raised her voice. She seemed to be mad at the man, but I wasn’t sure who he was, and he didn’t seem to be part of the Neverseen. I tried to creep closer to the man, when Lady Gisela grabbed him by the neck. “We have to find her to find my son! He must fulfill his legacy!” The man seemed to nod through her grasp but she didn’t falter her hold. “You have failed me for the last time, but I can’t let you go, so I guess this is goodbye. The man fell limp and my mother let go. She brushed her hands on her dress before pushing the man into an alleyway. She let out a sigh as she rubbed her temples muttering about a washer. Why had my mother committed such a crime? I knew she was bad, but…why? No wonder she needed a washer to erase the memory!
“Whoa, back the T-rex up! What just happened to that man?” I couldn’t help asking.
She looked up, startled but then smiled “He is nobody you need to concern yourself with. Now, Keefe, I need to speak with you.”
I looked at her then at the man, this wasn’t good. I stepped back and whispered “What do you want from me?”
My mother looked at me eerily and then continued, “You think you are smart for your act with the Neverseen don’t you? Well, I figured my son would do something reckless like that. When will you learn that you must try to be what I need you to be?!”
I was confused, my mother had never needed me before except for the legacy she kept talking about. She started to continue when there were a series of footsteps coming towards us.
“You must go! I will get a hold of you another time."
She pulled out my home crystal and I looked back at the man’s body one more time as I leaped away.
Ro had figured that I stopped at Candleshade because when I got there she was standing with her hands on her hips.
“Looks like you lost your bet, I have some Gurgle Gut back by your bed.”
I sighed as she leaped us back to Alvar's place. When we made it back, Ro made me explain everything. “Just don’t tell the others about my mom’s crimes. I don’t want Sophie to hate me.”
“Trust me, nothing will make that girl hate you.” Ro answered with a teasing smile.
Okay, Books for Life, this is pretty good, except that you use 'besides' a lot and sometimes there are commas in unnecessary places. Also, indent when there's another person talking. :)
With thanks to Shannon Messenger and Story From Keefe's Perspective
Ro glared at me from the corner. I just had to endure yet another debate on whether or not to stay on bedrest. You would've thought that I was crushed by a T-rex, but no, I just had a small fight with King Dimitar. “I only broke a FEW bones, besides, everyone else is going to Nightfall without me!” I whined.
“You can’t help Sophie by breaking your ribs again, and I thought you said you were maxed out on adventure for a while.”
I smirked. “Fine, besides, I can’t look good for the ladies if I’m still not completely better right?”
Ro shook her head and started to paint her sharp nails a bright orange.
As soon as Ro lost attention about our argument, I quietly took out my pranking Elixirs and slipped some into Ro’s drink. I knew that would keep her away for a little bit. I started to smirk again when Ro looked up.
“Let’s make a bet. I bet that you will leave that bed and if you do, you have to guzzle a whole bottle of Gurgle Gut.”
I needed to play cool, so I accepted, and anyway, sometimes things have to get worse before they get better. “Yeah, but if I don’t leave this bed, you have to get a tattoo that says “Don’t insult “THE HAIR.” Ro seemed satisfied. “Deal.”
Ro continued to paint her nails with complete interest. I started to slip off the bed, as a master mischief maker, I knew that I had a chance of getting away, but it was small.
“You better get back in bed before you have more than just your ribs to worry about.”
“You wouldn’t….” I started.
Ro jumped to her feet “Try me.”
I lay flat on the bed until Ro sat back down. That went well, I thought. How was I supposed to be everything Foster needed me to be if I couldn't get out of this bed?!
I was about to give up when Elwin light-leaped to check on my progress. He flashed a bright blue orb around my torso and then a hot pink one. He told me that if I stayed in bed a little bit longer, I could probably start walking around soon! Then he left to talk to Ro. Now was my chance. Ro had downed her glass of “lush-berry juice” filled with some of my elixirs that would keep her in the bathroom for hours!
I tried to get out of the cot, but as soon as I let go of the bed, I sucked in a breath as the pain overwhelmed me. I forced myself back up and clamped my teeth together to stop from screaming out from the pain shooting from my still-not-fully healed ribs. By the time I got to the door, I could hear Ro shouting curses at me, but they were empty threats. I smirked as I thought about how long she would be staying away. With Ro out of the way, all I had to worry about was getting out of Alvar’s stinky apartment.
It felt like forever before I found out where Ro had put my home crystal. I put it in my pocket and tried to come up with a plan. I silently hoped that Sophie hadn’t already left without me. Lifting the crystal to the light, I leaped to Candleshade, the disgusting home that I had grown up with that brought back memories that I never wanted to have again.
I drew a deep breath before opening the door. I knew that my father wouldn’t be there, but I still expected to see his disappointed glance at his unaccomplished son. I shook my head to clear the sharp memories flooding into my mind. I didn’t need my horrid mother or my disappointed father, this mission I could do alone. I started to limp forward when I felt a shiver run down my spine, I spun around, as quickly as I could without falling over from the searing pain in my side. Spotting a small scroll on the ground next to the front doors. I looked around before slowly picking it up. How did anyone know I was here?
As I opened the letter, I realized it had an eye symbol of the Neverseen. It must be from my mother! I thought as I tore it open. Inside was a small note written in my mom’s loopy handwriting:
"Keefe,
I will be at Mysterium at nightfall (pun intended) tonight. There are a few things I need to talk to you about. Oh and Keefe, I suggest showing up, or your precious Sophie might suddenly disappear. Do you really want a second Wanderling for your young friend?
I really am doing this for you,
Love,
Mom."
I re-read the letter, thoughts racing through my head. What did my mom want me for that bad? But I couldn’t risk Sophie’s safety, so I made up my mind to go. When I finally reached Mysterium, there weren’t many people around. I took that as a good sign as I stood, waiting. I started to give up when the night started to drag on. My ribs were killing me, and Ro would find out where I went sooner or later.
It was then that I saw her, my mom, in a heavy black cloak. She seemed to be swallowed in the darkness surrounding her. I slowly crept over to her when she shot out of the darkness, she ran right past me to another man in a matching black cloak. They were speaking rapidly when Lady Gisela raised her voice. She seemed to be mad at the man, but I wasn’t sure who he was, and he didn’t seem to be part of the Neverseen. I tried to creep closer to the man, when Lady Gisela grabbed him by the neck. “We have to find her to find my son! He must fulfill his legacy!” The man seemed to nod through her grasp but she didn’t falter her hold. “You have failed me for the last time, but I can’t let you go, so I guess this is goodbye. The man fell limp and my mother let go. She brushed her hands on her dress before pushing the man into an alleyway. She let out a sigh as she rubbed her temples muttering about a washer. Why had my mother committed such a crime? I knew she was bad, but…why? No wonder she needed a washer to erase the memory!
“Whoa, back the T-rex up! What just happened to that man?” I couldn’t help asking.
She looked up, startled but then smiled “He is nobody you need to concern yourself with. Now, Keefe, I need to speak with you.”
I looked at her then at the man, this wasn’t good. I stepped back and whispered “What do you want from me?”
My mother looked at me eerily and then continued, “You think you are smart for your act with the Neverseen don’t you? Well, I figured my son would do something reckless like that. When will you learn that you must try to be what I need you to be?!”
I was confused, my mother had never needed me before except for the legacy she kept talking about. She started to continue when there were a series of footsteps coming towards us.
“You must go! I will get a hold of you another time."
She pulled out my home crystal and I looked back at the man’s body one more time as I leaped away.
Ro had figured that I stopped at Candleshade because when I got there she was standing with her hands on her hips.
“Looks like you lost your bet, I have some Gurgle Gut back by your bed.”
I sighed as she leaped us back to Alvar's place. When we made it back, Ro made me explain everything. “Just don’t tell the others about my mom’s crimes. I don’t want Sophie to hate me.”
“Trust me, nothing will make that girl hate you.” Ro answered with a teasing smile.
Okay, Books for Life, this is pretty good, except that you use 'besides' a lot and sometimes there are commas in unnecessary places. Also, indent when there's another person talking. :)
Mod
*bows* another episode of the Lemon Show, please subscribe, click the thumbs up and ring the bell for notifications.
I think I should have a channel guys
I think I should have a channel guys
Compare.