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Do you think the dialogue in the very short narrative is stilted? If yes, why? Thanks.
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Honestly, I personally believe the dialogue is very natural. :)
Thanks, Laura. I have been worried-sick about that all night. Thanks for your response.
Temidayo wrote: "Thanks, Laura. I have been worried-sick about that all night. Thanks for your response."Your welcome! Happy to help.
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“Dave, I was discussing a new project with Amber,” Marcus said. “I am thinking of handing the project over to you and Amber, what do you think?”
“Sir—” he paused.
“Yes, Dave.”
“Sir, you know I have problems working with Amber, right?”
“You think I don't know that, Dave?” Marcus asked.
“I split you guys up to different teams myself, you remember?”
“Yes, I recall that.”
“And besides, I did that so you guys could cool off,” Marcus said. “It wasn't meant forever.”
“Do I have your consent?” Marcus asked.
Dave averted his gaze away from Marcus. He couldn't bring himself to consent to a teamwork with Amber. Not again. Looking towards her now, she appears unconcerned. Her fingers which she kept fiddling with seemed to hold her attention. Whatever she was thinking of, he couldn't tell.The last time he had worked with her, they were for most of the time at loggerheads with each other. He had felt stressed out after the project ended. He and Amber had known each other since college; their relationship back then was not any different either.
“What about Amber?” Dave asked.
“Any word from you?” Marcus asked, turning towards her.
Silence.
“Okay, since you guys aren't willing to respond, I will make my decision,” Marcus said.“You guys are going to be working together on this project, I hope I am clear enough.”
Dave gave a nod.
Dave met Marcus’ gaze and he could tell the unspoken words.
Don't screw up.