Beta Reader Group discussion
Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query
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First paragraphs - YA/Coming of Age Fantasy
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The general wisdom is to start with action to hook the reader. I don't subscribe to that 100%, but it's not a bad idea. At the very least, the beginning should pose a question in the reader's mind. Something to engage them. It should also introduce the main character. I don't think this does that.I'm not sure what the slice in the sky is. All I know is that after two paragraphs of how engaging it is, the people on the ground are not interested at all. And I'm not sure why I should be either.
The quote is wordy and doesn't tell me anything either. There isn't anything that has piqued my interest or encouraged me to read any further. Sorry, that's just my two bits.
--Scott
A lot of people feel as though the first page is the most terrifying o write, and I have to agree. Those first few pages have so much important stuff to do. We need to get to know your pro-tag, feel the tone of the book, know where we are. I'm hoping the first few pages would be enough to answer these questions. But those are the kind of things you need to be asking yourself too. Good luck x
CHAPTER 1
There was a crispness in the air. It offset the rising warmth that had baked into the earth from the day just gone and refreshed the senses of those who had slumped in the heat of the afternoon. Several early stars had taken advantage of the cloudless sky and did their best to sparkle against the dimming backdrop, but they would receive little admiration tonight. A new arrival had captured the hearts of stargazers and dreamers alike; the slice in the sky.
The slice in the sky not only matched the size and brightness of the most dominating stars, but it delighted onlookers with its ability to crawl across an otherwise motionless canvas. It took the lead role in what was already a captivating evening. The kind of evening that boasted inspiration, reinvigorated dreams, and gifted motivation to any who took the time to stop and take it all in.
For the gathering on the grass below, however, such hopes of inspired thought would have to wait. Their attention remained unwillingly fixed on the zealous man who paced before them, his movement and voice providing enough stimulation to distract from the true beauty of the night.
“It is without question that our village has risen above the biggest trials ever known to this island.”