Beta Reader Group discussion
Covers, Blurbs, 1st Line, Query
>
Query for Poetry and Short Story Collection
date
newest »
newest »
Hi Toby,Let me say straight away I'm not a poetry guy, so take everything from here on out with a grain of salt! But these are my impressions.
The first paragraph is a good start. It gives me a good idea of what to expect, but it seems to run away. That's a lot packed into one volume (and in one paragraph). "Instilling an appreciation for individualism, self-empowerment, the intrigue of our world, and the mysteries of the universe." That's a tall order. The second paragraph really confirmed my suspicions.
There are a lot of different genres going on. And I'm curious about the word count. Is poetry usually counted in pages rather than words? It seems like 50-60 pages is considered full length for poetry and this word count seems high. You should probably research what an ideal count for poetry. I think smaller volumes of poetry are more common than novellas and wonder if you have considered dividing the content by subject and possibly joining them as a series? It would make your pitch more focused and it could be tailored to a more specific audience.
Also, I think way too many influences are listed. Not sure about poetry, but in the novel world, agents care less about your influences and more about which readers are going to like your writing. "Readers of X and Y will enjoy Enter My Domain," or similar. Usually two is enough.
Best of luck,
--Scott
Thank you Scott for this feedback. The work is comprised mainly of 16 short stories which make up about 73,800 words. There are 23 poems interspersed between the stories which make up about 4,800 words or 39 pages. They were all written together and follow the underlying theme of Existentialism. I embarked on writing this debut work before I'd known that poetry, short story collections, and dark (death, theological debates, and taboo emotions; i.e. fear, loneliness, depression, and suicide themed) writing would be harder to get representation or publication. Now knowing this I realize it's an uphill battle for me, especially as a debut title.
The short stories and the poetry follow the theme of Existentialism, but the stories themselves vary in sub-genre. This was informative. I think I will lose the line, "Instilling an appreciation..." and focus more on the underlying theme. Even though it's a harder sell.
I'll also cut this line, "elements of, but not limited to sci-fi, horror, crime thriller, adventure, and folk tale." It seems to confuse the theme and sub-genre mash-up. It's essentially a short story and poetry collection with the theme of existentialism. This seems to confuse that and introduce a muddled and varied amount of sub-genre's.
The work was written as a cohesive unit with both poetry and stories, but I may have enough poetry to submit the two separately if necessary. At this point I'm just trying to get requests for the full manuscript and find representation. After that I'm open to toying with the idea of drastic changes to work. Such as separating the poetry and short stories, cutting one or the other altogether, etc.
I used a list of influences to give a feel for the type of content I'd written and to substitute writing credits, as this is my debut work. This was helpful and I'll narrow that down to a few authors that are the most fitting. I was hoping to represent some classic authors as well as commercially successful author's as influence to vie for more interest in my own work, but in this case you're probably right. Less is more.
Thank you again for this feedback. It was very helpful and informative. It gave me a lot to work on. Thanks.
Cheers,
Toby
Toby,Now that I understand more about your project, I agree you should try to keep them together, first. But you should focus your query on the unifying idea of existentialism rather than the individual merits of each piece. I don't want to say downplay the poetry, but perhaps treat it as a variation of the short story rather than call attention to it. I think the whole needs to feel unified. This may also be the point where you go back and do a heavy edit to ensure every part is important to the finished theme.
--Scott
Dear [Agent Name],
I’ve chosen to submit a query to you because of your interest in [Personal Connection].
Enter My Domain is an exploration of imagination, adventure, existentialism, and self. The journey runs in tandem with thought-provoking short stories and dark introspective poetry. Going hand in hand, these two genres guide the reader on their voyage of self-discovery, while also instilling an appreciation for individualism, self-empowerment, the intrigue of our world, and the mysteries of the universe.
Enter My Domain is the working title of this 79,000 word collection with elements of, but not limited to sci-fi, horror, crime thriller, adventure, and folk tale. Two of the stories are written in dual perspectives--from an entirely internal point of view and from external dialog and interactions. Other story elements include a demon that feeds on the sins it invokes, a shapeshifting do-gooder, the tribulation of a professor who’s invented time travel, an astral projecting teen’s talk with a black hole, an Irish folk tale of love and loss, and even a little humor in a “clumsy slug” commentary. The poetry is a biting introspective look at existentialism, emotions, and sometimes of a theological reflection.
A few of my inspirations and influences are Edgar Allan Poe, H.G. Wells, Nathaniel Hawthorne, Jules Verne, Brothers Grimm, L. Frank Baum, Lewis Carroll, J.R.R. Tolkien, H.P. Lovecraft, Richard Matheson, Clive Barker, Douglas Adams, Terry Pratchett, David Wong, Chuck Palahniuk, Hunter S. Thompson, Neil Gaiman, J.K. Rowling, Dean Koontz, and Stephen King among many others.
I’d be happy to have you represent Enter My Domain, though I am querying other agents simultaneously. Thank you for your time, and I look forward to hearing from you soon.
Best regards,
Toby