Dead Reckoning Book Club discussion
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Women Who Run With the Wolves
Women Who Run with the Wolves
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Singing the Bones - Chapters 1, 2, 3
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Yes! A lot of the stories in the book are very grim and kind of graphic. La Loba is a really comforting story to me. It's a resurrection story.. That connection to our true or wild self can be lost but we will always be able to find it again, no matter how long it takes us to get there.
I really connected to the Blue beard story. I've been through some really bad relationships with past lovers. I didn't listen to my intuition but instead found ways to reconcile or not see blatant red flags because I really just wanted to see the good in people. Similar to how the younger sister saw that the blue beard wasn't THAT blue.
Is anyone listening to the audio book? The author narrates, and it adds an intimacy. I need to check, though, because I think there might be some sections missing.
Mod
I didn't realize Dr. Estes narrated the audiobook! I would love to hear her read some of the stories.
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La Loba is a really comforting story to me. It's a resurrection story.. That connection to our true or wild self can be lo..."
This absolutely strikes a chord with me, too. What I take away most from the Bluebeard story is how even after not listening to your gut, you still have the chance to raise the alarm and say "this isn't right!" and take steps to get out of a situation. The fact that it's never too late to identify the psychic predator is a piece of hope, in an otherwise bloody tale.
Alli wrote: "This absolutely strikes a chord with me, too. What I take away most from the Bluebeard story is how even after not listening to your gut, you still have the chance to raise the alarm and say "this isn't right!" and take steps to get out of a situation. The fact that it's never too late to identify the psychic predator is a piece of hope, in an otherwise bloody tale."I love that Estes says it's part of nature, that we go through these phases of being in ignorance and then becoming enlightened. And that it's not always our fault that we didn't see the red flags. Your old life dying is just the beginning of your new life.
What do you guys think of men reading this book? Even though this book is basically made for women and majority has feminine themes, I think a lot of men can benefit from the lessons of the myths and stories. Estes using common fairytales that we've all heard in some form or another, everyone can learn something.
Also, this book is THICC. I find that I have to read it very carefully to get all the information out. I've finished the first three chapters but I feel like I have to wait a day let it all in and then I find myself wanting to reread. Anyone else feeling the same?
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I was just thinking of writing a post about the gender dynamics in the book. For me, the strong connection that Estes makes between phyiscal traits like ovaries and psychological traits like creativity does not feel on track for me. I personally am fairly apathetic about my own gender in general, and feel that my power comes from places like the base of my spine or my stomach. Even with that disconnect between what Estes considers feminine physical markers and what is my lived experience, I still find so much power in the psychological discussion excavation to find the wild woman. That's a long way of me saying that I do think people of any gender could find something to take away from this book, but it might be harder to get over the strong lines Estes draws between physical traits and psychological characteristics in some of her conclusions.
Reading through La Loba I was at first very struck by and focused on some of the grim imagery, feeling like I was trying to pry open a box or understand something that was taking me down a winding path (and it is), but by the end of the chapter I felt a physical opening of my heart and many places I want to dig deeper. A quote that stood out to me that makes much of the book so far feel more "realistic" for lack of a better word in our daily lives is this: "...the place where mind and instincts mingle, where a woman's deep life funds her mundane life." I also really loved the story of the 4 Rabbi's, and the distinction made earlier in the chapter about how when we begin to dig it is important to do so with caution and with understanding and care, lest we may walk too quickly or too boldly off the ledge.
I'm working my way through the book slower than planned, journaling and highlighting as I go, but so far really loving it.
Alli wrote: "Stephanie wrote: "Alli wrote: "This absolutely strikes a chord with me, too. What I take away most from the Bluebeard story is how even after not listening to your gut, you still have the chance to..."As I was reading too I also had some thoughts about the physical aspects/connection to inner knowing/being. Personally I have struggled to regulate my physical cycle and had a lot of medical challenges related to what is viewed/describe as part of the "feminine energy" in some ways and it was difficult reading to not internalize that physical messaging as connected to some of those lived experiences.
@Stephanie, I resonated earlier too with having to work through the book slowly and reread some parts to let it marinate. Reading so far I'd actually love to have my male partner read this book! So I think while it might mean something different to him (I'm curious his thoughts, actually) I think it could be beneficial and helpful as well. I think we all have both "feminine" and "masculine" energies within our Self.
Samantha wrote: "@Stephanie, I resonated earlier too with having to work through the book slowly and reread some parts to let it marinate. Reading so far I'd actually love to have my male partner read this book!"My brother has actually listened to the audiobook with my mother and I a long time ago. I asked him what he thought about it recently, he said it made him able to empathize with women more.
@Samantha You're so right. Estes also talks a lot about dualities in women and how we have "animus" or masculine energies and a wild woman in our psyches. The book is to help us accept both parts, regardless of our experiences.
@Ali I'm kind of the same. I don't really feel any specific power from my ovaries or places that are specifically "feminine", mostly I feel from my stomach and my heart. Maybe that could be from the fact that those parts of me are often unreliable or have caused me some sort of shame in some way. I feel like when I get to those parts in the book were she talks about these kinds of traits, it makes me want to listen to them more and take notice and care. Maybe one day I'll form more of an appreciation.
Mod
I also want to affirm that moving through the book slowly to appreciate the many deep layers of information is an excellent choice. I've also found myself slowing down (in so many ways, but especially cognitively), and I want to honor that as a need for folks. I'm going to go ahead and post discussion threads for all of the read-a-long sections. That way, we can each share our thoughts and seek support in our own time.
For my part, I am always struck by the power of the story of La Loba. There are many layers of metaphorical redemption/rebirth - bones are brought back to life, the desert becomes a place of birth, and woman is connected with her wild heart. While the imagery may be a bit grim, it is an ultimately hopeful message - you can pull the lost pieces of yourself together and find a new start. That duality of life and death, grim and glorious, runs through each story and chapter of "Women Who Run with the Wolves", because that is what it is to be connected with the wild psyche within, to contain multitudes.
I look forward to hearing about what parts of these chapters stuck with you!