Pharmacy To Read discussion
12 Rules for Life
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Mod
I hope you all are taking care during this hectic time, but I am quite excited to kick off this discussion. My hope is that you all will answer these questions and also, as able, to comment on the other participants' answers, so we can really get a dialogue going.
The first two questions I want to post include the following:
1. What rule stood out as the most meaningful? Does this change depending on if you look at the book from a personal or professional perspective?
2. What rule did you learn the most from, maybe unexpectedly?
Looking forward to seeing everyone's replies.
Andrea
Mod
On a personal level, I identify strongly with the Myers-Briggs personality inventory of an INTJ. (If you have not taken this inventory, I highly recommend it). In particular, INTJs tend to be very “improvement” oriented, quickly recognizing the strengths and weaknesses of people and processes. The ability to quickly recognize problems, at its best, is applied to a continuous process of self-improvement and can be quite helpful sitting on a P&T committee, but it can also quickly slide down a slippery slope of recognizing and unapologetically pointing out problems in both other people and systems alike. Although done with an optimism/seeing the best possible outcome and with eye for the great potential, this habit is not always welcome!
As an educator, I spend a lot of time observing pharmacy students and residents looking for how to give great feedback – both positive reinforcement and opportunities for growth. I am pretty decent at it, and it is satisfying to see improvement in an individual as a result of my support and coaching. The problem is that I can take this attitude into my personal life as well, meaning I am ‘coaching’ friends and family when I should just be focusing on what I need to be doing next to be my best self. It’s also much easier to focus on someone else than yourself! I found this chapter to be a ‘kick in the butt’ to be more ‘graceful’ in my analyses (or just be quiet entirely) and get back to whatever habit I need to ‘start stopping today’ or get started on doing.
#1b: On a professional level, “#3 make friends with people who want the best for you" really stuck out to me both as a mentor and a mentee. As a mentee, identifying individuals that actively 1) desire to see my success (in life and professionally) and 2) are willing to follow this up with both the right words and the right actions (lots of people will tell you they support you but never follow through) is incredibly meaningful to me. At various points in time, these are people that have believed in me when I did not believe in myself, cut me down to size when I was getting too big for my britches/overstepping in some way and 3) have opened so many doors for me. Keeping those people central was a good reminder.
As a mentor, I was struck by the concept that some people are essentially ‘beyond helping’ – as he said “Vice is easy. Failure is too.” I will get people that come to my office wanting my assistance – is it because of genuine desire to grow? Or because they think I am an easy way up and out? I have worked with both kinds. Sometimes, my desire to help can end up with me over-extending myself. I want to be thoughtful on how to be the person in someone else’s life “who wants the best for them” but while also striking the balance of not saving someone from the deep ditch, so to speak!
#2) The part that I learned a lot from is a bit of a mesh between two rules. In rule #4, there is a part about how you cannot do anything/aim at anything if you are “totally undisciplined” and in Rule #8, “Tell the truth – or, at least, don’t lie” I began to think about how easy it can be to use the white lie, to shade over the truth, to avoid or hide from things. Mostly, in the stories one tells oneself about mistakes. It also made me think of the tougher times when I have had to say ‘no’ when students asked me for letters of recommendation and I decided against saying “I do not have the time” because that was not true – I didn’t want to write the letter because I didn’t know the person overly well or did not think they were a good candidate. Saying that truthfully but kindly is tough.
(I read somewhere else recently that “you don’t always have cut with the sword of Truth. You can point too.)
A scary part about telling the truth is that if you state things clearly, people have an equally clear chance to disappoint or even hurt you by not doing that thing. It can be easy to soften high expectations or to not be clear about things that are not going well. And it can be easy to avoid the truth within oneself too when things aren’t going well.
(Also, I have 3 cats - Muffin, Emerson, and June, and I am a strong believer that one should let a cat come say hello to you).
Mod
Rule 4 – Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today
It’s very easy to look at Pharmacists who are having incredible success in research, publishing, or membership within professional organizations and downplay the importance of everything you’re currently doing. Add in the social media dynamic of Instagram and selfies, it’s even easier to compare yourself to others. Just as there may be someone more athletic, more talented, more decorated in a sport no matter how much you practice, the same is likely true in medicine. We’re all looking to get better and improve in some way or another. But rather than comparing ourselves to others, we need to define what better means for all of us. And when we are able to do that we’ll stop worrying about the actions of others, because you’ll have to much to do yourself.
#2
Rule 2 – “Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping”
Any chapter that starts off with a story involving a Pharmacist has my attention. And a story that goes into medication non-compliance and having equal share of responsibility between the patient and physician. I appreciate that sentiment, but also recognize things like organ rejection don’t simply occur due to non-compliance. He then uses an analogy that hit home as he described how in general we as humans take better care of our pets than we do ourselves. We take care of pets (and this likely applies to children although I don’t have any) because we understand they don’t know better, and humans don’t get that benefit of the doubt especially with ourselves. But we have to remember that we are important to other people just as much as we are to ourselves. This is one of the more powerful messages of the book to me about self-care and taking care of yourself and others. With the increased focus on work/life balance and personal well-being I thought this rule was very timely reading as I continue to improve in those aspects.
Mod
For this week, here are a couple questions to ponder:
1. What rules do you think you can apply when precepting pharmacy students or residents?
2. Have you applied any of these rules in your life? Did you have a positive result?
Looking forward to some good discussion.
Take care!
Mod
This rule spoke to me in particular, as it can be easy to let learners 'slide by' on things as opposed to having the more difficult conversations of setting expectations and being clear when they are not being met and the ramifications/implications thereof. Even the softer things - we have all had the student that asks a question that can be Googled, etc.
I remember encouraging a student to look at both the actual MAR as well as the pharmacy order entry screen - I probably mentioned it 3 or 4 days in a row of emphasizing its importance with no result, before finally directly calling them out about it. I saw the immediate change but then kicked myself for losing so many days in a row of their learning and my confusion v. annoyance over something so small. Recently, I gave a student directions on how to update their CV and an example template. They sent me back an 'updated' CV where it was apparent they had not looked at the template. I sent back a few comments and encouraged them to look at the template. Again, the next round seemed like we were not making progress, and I can feel myself wanting to avoid the tougher conversation but am hopeful Rule #5 is going to inspire me to greatness.
2) Rule #6: set your own house in order
This one always hits close to home for me. I like the concept of start stopping today and it dovetails with Covey's focus on what you can control. I have a notebook with a little habit tracker - anything from drink 80oz of water to hold my tongue can go in it. It's been interesting to watch those results.
Also, I bike on a trail where I watched kids skateboard. I have just enjoyed watching them and thinking on that rule.
Mod
1. What rules do you think you can apply when precepting pharmacy students or residents?
Rule 8 - "Tell the truth or, at least, don't lie"
I think it's something all of us likely tell to any level of learner. It's okay to not know something, but it's not okay to lie. In the words of my parents (who likely said this many times to me), it's not the lie it's the cover-up. Lying is such a slippery slope. If you're successful in lying, it can lead to bigger lies being created by lots of smaller ones. Working in medicine, we focus everything we do on the truth. What we think is right. Lying doesn't achieve this, you could argue it does the opposite in the short- and/or long-term.
2. Have you applied any of these rules in your life? Did you have a positive result?
Rule 7 - "Pursue what is meaningful (not what is expedient)
This would be a rule that is easy to appreciate, hard to achieve. Anything worth doing in life is hard. I am constantly reminding myself that most of my most meaningful achievements happened with hard work, time, and sacrifice. It's easy to try and find the easy way out, but rarely does that help you achieve your goals. The biggest example I can think of recently with this rule was training and completing my first marathon. The training was honestly hell and very challenging, but that feeling of crossing the finish line was even better.
I have enjoyed reading the comments, sorry I have not been able to participate, ID pharmacy seems to be busy for some reason. Next book I will be much more active (I hope)
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Thanks everyone!
-Nick