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There And Back Again (with Veronica & Tom)

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message 1: by Andrew (last edited Dec 15, 2014 12:21AM) (new)

Andrew J. | 54 comments I've been listening to so much Sword & Laser lately in an attempt to catch up on every episode dating back to the beginning, that I feel like Veronica and Tom basically live with me. I've been hearing their voices in the car, in my room, in the bathroom, in the kitchen...This isn't meant to be creepy.

Last night I had my first dream with these two in it. Nothing weird...well, I mean there was an adventurous literary Easter egg hunt of sorts, and Tom jumped out of the jungle in a tiger costume, to which Veronica responded by pulling out a machine gun and going all shoot-every-leaf-in-the-forest scene from Predator on him, but that's besides the point.

It got me thinking how fun it would be to go on an adventure with our two intrepid book club hosts. They each have areas of expertise and a wealth of knowledge that could aid in almost any outlandish situation.

So, here's my question:

If you were able to take Veronica and Tom on an adventure (think RPG), what would their roles be? What extraordinary tale would involve these two as your sidekicks to begin with? What would their special powers be? Their heroic one-liners? So on and so forth...

This should be fun.


message 2: by Tassie Dave, S&L Historian (last edited Dec 15, 2014 02:48AM) (new)

Tassie Dave | 3639 comments Mod
Veronica & Tom are on a Quest to rid the world of the mists of ignorance that force more and more to come under the influence of Lord Bookwyrm Lem of Swaser. Those affected cannot finish anything they start and are left forever feeling unfulfilled.

Veronica is the interpreter. Her role will be to explain their quest to the rulers of each realm they pass through. She, of course, will fail to get her pronunciations correct and mistakenly end up insulting them, their ancestors, all their descendants, their neighbours, their friends and their favourite pets. Which will add the comic relief to what is otherwise a tragic story. It will also lead to the deaths of thousand of innocent people, but as they have no personal bearing on the story, their deaths are essentially irrelevant.

Tom is the wise mage who can foretell the future. Unfortunately he has been cursed to never have his revelations believed by anyone. Which forces him to interpret his reading incorrectly in the hope of their truths being acted upon. Except this results in him being thought an imbecile. As he foresaw the eventual outcome of this quest and was still alive, he just shrugs his shoulders at the seemingly pointless tangential meanderings of this group of disparate individuals and their failure to listen to his warnings.

My role will be as the loveable and irreplaceable side kick. Who will die at the start of Book 1 and never be spoken of again.

The rest of you will be redshirts who will only become important and get a name if your deaths will serve some dramatic purpose.

Each adventure will start with a generous imbibing of alcoholic beverages which will add to Veronica's belief that she has perfect fluency in the local dialect and act violently against those who don't understand her. Tom will believe the truth of his inaccurate foretelling and join Veronica in going medieval on the asses of those who mock him. We will join the story several hours later with our group of misfits waking up surrounded by the corpses of dozens of towns folk. Saving us several pages of writing and millions of dollars by not having to film long battle scenes when the eventual TV series gets made.

After many years and several trilogies of material. Tom and Veronica will reach the lair of Lord Bookwyrm Lem of Swaser. Tom will realise he has no idea what happens next. They both look at the size of the dragon's footprints, look at each other. Realise they don't really care that much, drop their sword and laser and decide to go home.






Then they hear a roar......


message 3: by Dara (new)

Dara (cmdrdara) | 2702 comments It would basically be Mass Effect. Me as Shepard, Veronica as Liara, Tom as Thane. It would be awesome.


message 4: by David H. (last edited Dec 15, 2014 09:27AM) (new)

David H. (farrakut)
Dara wrote: "It would basically be Mass Effect. Me as Shepard, Veronica as Liara, Tom as Thane. It would be awesome."
What, no Wrex? :(


message 5: by [deleted user] (last edited Dec 15, 2014 09:29AM) (new)

<3 for this thread.


message 6: by Dara (new)

Dara (cmdrdara) | 2702 comments David wrote: "
Dara wrote: "It would basically be Mass Effect. Me as Shepard, Veronica as Liara, Tom as Thane. It would be awesome."
What, no Wrex? :("


I love me some Urdnot Wrex but Tom is more of a Thane. Quiet and understated. Except when he's being a kickass assassin. Veronica would make a good drunk Tali! "Emergency induction port."


message 7: by Michele (new)

Michele | 1154 comments Let's see...

I go into an Inn (because duh!) and I spend my 5 copper - that I just looted off a dead hedgehog - on a beer. I have a rusty dagger and a backpack with one heal potion and some lame shoulder armor I found in a crate.

In the Inn, there is a poster asking for adventurers to seek out The MacGuffin of Wonderfulness - see the mayor.

I go to the mayor's house - he's kind of fat.

Tom the Jedi Paladin and Veronica the Sorceress and my rouge (haha just kidding - "rogue") are sent off in the direction of the Darkest Forest of Nasty Darkness. Tom can't get his magic lightsaber of holy power to work under stress. Veronica can't pronounce her spells properly. I can't put the pointy end of my dagger into anything meaner than a hedgehog.

Forest goblins attack us, kill our level one selves, and feast on our flesh.

We go on craigslist and buy us some level 90 badass killerz. Then we run around pwning noobs and dancing on their graves. And fishing. And cooking. And kissing various critters. Because WoW is great like that :)


message 8: by Andrew (new)

Andrew J. | 54 comments Michele wrote: "Let's see...

I go into an Inn (because duh!) and I spend my 5 copper - that I just looted off a dead hedgehog - on a beer. I have a rusty dagger and a backpack with one heal potion and some lame s..."


That was a treat.


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