Anderson, Laurie Halse - Wintergirls - Informal Buddy Read; Start December 16, 2014

[Moderators of NBRC, Challenger-in-Chief]

This topic is open for discussion of Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson




Book Synopsis:
“Dead girl walking”, the boys say in the halls.
“Tell us your secret”, the girls whisper, one toilet to another.
I am that girl.
I am the space between my thighs, daylight shining through.
I am the bones they want, wired on a porcelain frame.

Lia and Cassie are best friends, wintergirls frozen in matchstick bodies, competitors in a deadly contest to see who can be the skinniest. But what comes after size zero and size double-zero? When Cassie succumbs to the demons within, Lia feels she is being haunted by her friend’s restless spirit.

In her most emotionally wrenching, lyrically written book since the multiple-award-winning Speak, Laurie Halse Anderson explores Lia’s descent into the powerful vortex of anorexia, and her painful path toward recovery.

[Moderators of NBRC, Challenger-in-Chief]

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[Moderators of NBRC, Challenger-in-Chief]

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[Kate]

I'd like to join this discussion if that's okay. ;)

[K~Terror]

The more the merrier, Kate!

I'm finishing up a book and looking forward to starting Wintergirls today!

[Kate]

So I started reading already.

004.00
(view spoiler)[I couldn't really relate much to people suffering from food disorders but I imagined myself as Lia listening to the last messages left by my best friend. How heart-rending is must be for her knowing that Cassie turned to her for help and suddenly she was just gone! I'm looking forward to delve deeper into the story to understand Lia (and Cassie) better. (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

@Kate - I'm right there with you... (view spoiler)[ I don't understand the whole anorexia thing but have heard it has to do with needing to be in control. Seems the parents (moms) want their daughters to be perfect so they can be a perfect reflection of their mom... That sounded so sad. My heart broke for Lia too when she was listening to her friends vms.. And it's so terrible she thinks she is at fault for what her friend did. (hide spoiler)]

I'm up to 10.00 now. I had to get used to the writing style at first because I was listening on audio & it was sort of confusing. I have the kindle version too so ended up following along the first few chapters on both kindle/audio to get a better understanding of what was going on. The way it flows kind of reminds me a bit of Tahereh Mafi's Shatter Me books - which I liked. So far I'm finding this story interesting.

[Kate]

Kristin, I could see how the audio version could be confusing as there are random thoughts and crossed out words strewn in the pages. Good thing you have your kindle version with you! I wish I could concentrate like you do because audio books don't really work for me.

I just finished 17.00 now. (view spoiler)[ I like what you said about them being in control. I'm a bit surprised that Lia cuts herself too. I didn't know that was also part of the disorder. Reading her goals was just difficult. Getting to 90 will make her feel bliss but all I could do was shake my head. I also wonder what the deal with Elijah is. Maybe Cassie has some sort of message to Lia.

What do you think about the phrase "when I was a real girl"? It's sounds to me like she's pretty much separated her life before and at present. I feel bad for the broken promises from her dad. It seems like all she really wanted was her parent's time. :( (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Kate wrote: "Kristin, I could see how the audio version could be confusing as there are random thoughts and crossed out words strewn in the pages. Good thing you have your kindle version with you! I wish I coul..."

My friend warned me that the audio will "beep" over the crossed out words but even still, it was weird and I did need to sort it out with the kindle before I could listen to the audio. (By the way, audios were an aquired taste for me - I had a hard time at first listening to them. My mind would wander and I wouldn't even realize it until minutes later... Then I'd have to back up.. LOL! Now I usually prefer them because I have more time to listen to them than I do to sit and read. (Unfortunately!).

I just got to chapter 19 and (view spoiler)[ I was shocked by the cutting too.. Lia is breaking my heart. She seems like she feels so alone yet she doesn't seem to let anyone in. I guess part of that is the dad and his broken promises and a mom who seems like her work IS all she has in her life... Jennifer seems to try but I know how hard being a stepmom is.. There are usually limits to how much you can do not being a primary bio parent. Plus, she seems to be very involved with Emma and pushing her to excel..

Lia is really sweet with Emma though & vice versa. Although her telling her coach her sister is a cancer patient had to have hurt.. Thought it would have had more impact than it did. But I guess Lis is very singularly focused. So many negative thoughts - and she's definitely able to figure out how to slip through the cracks at home.

I'm really wanting to know what message the hotel guy has for Lia too!! Surely we'll hear about it soon...

Was Cassie her only friend (who was actually a non friend)?? Where is everyone?
(hide spoiler)]

[Kate]

Kristin, how long did it take you to get used to the audio? I tried doing that awhile back while washing the dishes and I totally forgot about it. Haha, maybe I should practice listening to it more? Lol

So I finished 33.00 and (view spoiler)[it seems like Cassie was really her only friend. Some people tried to include her but you can tell it was more a favor to Cassie than being genuinely friendly to Lia. Oh wait she does have people she sees as "sisters" - the girls in that website where they encourage and support each other's non-eating habits. That kind of freaked me out.

These Cassie apparitions are scary too, not because of what they are but because of they represent. Obviously it is a figment of Lia's imagination strengthened by her guilt about Cassie's passing. The effect is disturbing especially when she's not letting anyone in. Do you think it has more to do with the parents why she turned that way? Or do you think Lia also contributed to the part? It seems like she is also consumed by what other people has to say (or what she might think other people say) because that phrase stupid/loser/fat/blahblah keeps on appearing in her head.

I am not yet sure how Elijah fits into all of this. It made me happy that she found a friend in him but then again the last chapter I read sounds like he started to become indifferent. But Emma! It seems like the relationship they have is special even though they aren't related at all. Maybe this would turn out to be a catalyst for good *crosses fingers*. (hide spoiler)]

[Karla]

I am up to 13.00 (view spoiler)[ I don't really like Lia. The comments that she makes about other people bother me.

On the other hand, I still feel bad for her. Losing her friend and wondering could she have done something to save Cassie? That would kill me (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Kate wrote: "Kristin, how long did it take you to get used to the audio? I tried doing that awhile back while washing the dishes and I totally forgot about it. Haha, maybe I should practice listening to it more..."

I can't remember how long it took me to get used to audio because I think it was so gradual. Maybe try starting off with more light, fun or action type books.. where you don't have a ton of details that you have to really pay close attention to. My friend recommended starting with The Help - which I guess turned out to be a good starter audio.

I'm just a couple chapters ahead at 35.00

(view spoiler)[ That "support" sister website is really creepy... I didn't know what it would be like to be anorexic but I guess I didn't picture it being a battle of wills 24/7 to stay away from eating. I figured after you got used to eating, it would get easier. (Like after you are sick for awhile and then food just doesn't sound good even when you start feeling better and you have to make yourself eat...) What a miserable life to fight that all of the time... counting all of your calories.. not to mention depriving yourself of ice cream goodness. (my weakness!)

I think it's interesting only Lia's mother noticed that she was losing weight and didn't weigh 108. Either a mom thing or a doctor thing to notice I wondered? Her dad and stepmom don't seem to notice.

Her dad and stepmom seem more like they are trying to be her friend than a parent maybe...

It is sad that Cassie seems to have been her only friend. At first I thought Lia felt guilty about Cassie's death since she didn't answer her calls on her last night, but then we see it's really more than that. It seems Lia introduced her to the whole anorexia way of life and manipulated her to stay with it. Even if Cassie was more into the bulimic side... I don't think you can blame Lia since it was ultimately Cassie's decision on how to live her life. But if I were Cassie, I think I'd need some serious counseling also!

Yea, I was wondering about the apparitions too and all of her mean thoughts towards herself. I mean, really, there is like absolutely NO joy in this poor girl's world... It's all about beating herself up and the number on the scales going down.

I think it sounded like Cassie and Lia's moms expected perfection from their daughters.. That would be impossible to live up to. I have heard that can contribute to girls being anorexic but then I think there's more to it that that too???

I hope Elijah gets over whatever it is and can be friends again with Lia... Still wanna know what the message is...

(hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Karla wrote: "I am up to 13.00 I don't really..."

I agree Karla! (view spoiler)[ Lia isn't the most likable of characters... It's like she has a very tough outer shell and won't let anyone close, yet she continually beats up on herself. I do feel bad for her too. It must be awful to have one friend and that person dies. (Kind of like Perks of a Wallflower, right???) But then to feel guilty for your friends death - like you feel you played a part in it by not answering her calls or whatever - that would make it even much worse... The girl really needs counseling and even though everyone around her thinks so too, they let her go because she says she's "fine". :(

(hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Chapter 42.00

(view spoiler)[ Now I'm wondering how this is going to end and I'm worried... This girl is aiming for lower and lower weights and actually WANTS to be in the "danger zone"...

She won't have Emma if she goes to stay with her mom.. :(

Jennifer is getting a little nutty... She is so flippin intense at the moment.

(hide spoiler)].

[Karla]

Up through 33.00 (view spoiler)[I'm still not much of a fan of Lia's. It seems like her relationship with Cassie was not a good one. They each fed the other's disease (Lia's anorexia and Cassie's bulimia).

Jennifer is right, Lia's dad needs to wake up and realize his daughter is not okay! But, it sounds like poor Emma might end up like Lia because of Jennifer.

I how sweet Lia is to Emma, that's really her only redeeming quality. It seems she doesn't care that Emma is not her "real" sister and doesn't resent Emma in any way. (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

@Karla -
(view spoiler)[ I'm worried about Emma too. Jennifer is so pushy with her.. And focuses on her weight all ready too.. Ugh. (hide spoiler)]

Chapter 47.00
(view spoiler)[
Lia is soooo exhausting. Just eat your sandwich...
(hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Middle of Chapter 54.00
(view spoiler)[
**Sobs**
(hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Just finished it! I'll be checking back to chat and get your thoughts!

[Kate]

Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "Middle of Chapter 54.00

**Sobs**
"

Finally! (view spoiler)[She opens up! Seems like if it had something to do with Emma, it is worth waking up. This is a big start opening up to Doctor Parker. I'm proud of her because we all know it is not easy. (hide spoiler)]

End of 55.00
I like what Dr. Parker said about (view spoiler)[ ghosts are real, but they are something we create. (hide spoiler)]

[Samantha]

is it to late to join in for this book?

[Kate]

Samantha wrote: "is it to late to join in for this book?"
I don't think it is too late and I believe you can catch up fast because it is kind of a short read.

I have just finished reading the book. It is amazing how it is short yet provides a lot of room for pondering. (view spoiler)[It has been an eye-opening experience to follow Lia's journey and the reality that this is the story of hundreds of girls out there. I know it won't be easy to overcome, but it is possible. (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Samantha wrote: "is it to late to join in for this book?"

I'll definitely chat with you - it's a very thought provoking book! Like Kate said, it's a quick read - it only took me a day or two.

[K~Terror]

Kate wrote: "Finally!

End of 55.00
I like what Dr. Parker said about..."

Kate - I totally agree! I was (view spoiler)[ sooooooo proud & amazed when Lia opened up to the counselor. Although I agreed with the counselor on what she said about the ghosts being of our own making, I was disappointed with most of the rest of her response... It seemed pretty insensitive to respond that she's crazy and she'll need to go to the loony bin instead of the facility for eating disorders, then usher her out the door and send her own her way, knowing her ride wasn't there.. She had to know Lia must have been feeling pretty raw...

It was sad Jennifer wasn't there to pick her up either since they had parted on bad terms before the appointment. I actually was surprised Jennifer went off on Lia about how her actions affected Emma. At the time I thought that was a little harsh since Lia is obviously going through some serious sh*t, and it feels like no one is in her corner, but in the end, it appears the tough-love straight-up conversation was what Lia needed to hear. Nothing else seemed to get through to her and it's probably the one thing that made her finally open up and want to try to get help. I can't imagine how Jennifer must have felt when Lia went missing after the appointment when she wasn't there to pick her up...

What did you think about Elijah??? I hated that she opened up to him and just left her like he did. If he didn't think she was well enough to come with him, why didn't he call an ambulance or someone to let them know to come get her or drop her off at the hospital if she was so out of it? I couldn't really get a good feel for him... I thought he might be a big part of her story - like another friend... but he really added very little it seemed.

Talk about hitting rock bottom.

Interesting Lia's dad said that she wouldn't get well until she wanted to get well. So true! Seems mom knew that too and I liked what she said when Lia asked why waste their money then on these treatment centers if they didn't think they would work? And she said it was because she would be dead otherwise. In the end, it was true, she did need to want to get well for herself and I thought it was so wonderful that she wanted to do that for her little sister. This was definitely a book of "feels"!
(hide spoiler)]

[Samantha]

awesome OK thanks guys!

[Karla]

Samantha wrote: "is it to late to join in for this book?"

I'll chat with you, too. I'm about halfway through it.

[Karla]

Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "Kate wrote: "Kristin, how long did it take you to get used to the audio? I tried doing that awhile back while washing the dishes and I totally forgot about it. Haha, maybe I should practice listeni..."

I agree with you, (view spoiler)[The whole anorexia support site is creepy and sad.

Cassie and Lia's relationship was very unhealthy! The more I listen, the more convinced of that I become.

For some people, anorexia/bulimia is not just about the weight. It's about having control over at least one aspect of their lives.

I really can't stand Lia's dad! He is a jerk and he cheated multiple times on his wife! I don't blame Lia for being a bit messed up! (hide spoiler)]

[Karla]

Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "Chapter 42.00

spoiler"

(view spoiler)[I'm worried too. But, I was proud of Lia for eating part of the cookie, so she was safe to drive to the store for Emma's meds. I hope the adults get her help! (hide spoiler)]

[Karla]

Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "@Karla -
[spoilers removed]

Chapter 47.00
"

I know! I keep saying (view spoiler)[Just eat! You'll feel better. (hide spoiler)]

[Karla]

49.00 (view spoiler)[Poor Emma! (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

Karla wrote: "Chapter 47.00
I know! I keep saying [spoilers removed]"

I know! The solution seems so easy from the outside! :)

[K~Terror]

You're really cranking through it tonight girl!

[Karla]

Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "You're really cranking through it tonight girl!"

I'm not feeling well, so I'm just laying in bed, listening to the book.

[K~Terror]

Sorry you aren't feeling well but glad you have a book to listen to. The audio is interesting to get used to, isn't it?!

[Karla]

Kristin ~ Experiment in Terror Junkie wrote: "Sorry you aren't feeling well but glad you have a book to listen to. The audio is interesting to get used to, isn't it?!"

Thank you. Yeah, the 00.number.00 thing was weird at first, I thought there was something wrong with my copy, until I looked on this thread. I still find the beeping strange.

[Karla]

I just finished it. (view spoiler)[I am so glad Lia got the help she needed! I'm also glad she finally reached out to Cassie's parents. They need each other to heal. (hide spoiler)]

[K~Terror]

@Karla (view spoiler)[ - It's so lucky that she hit bottom but was still able to come out of it and find a reason to get better.

So true... That had to have been bittersweet for both Cassie's parents and Lia. I agree it was a good thing to have happen. (hide spoiler)]

[Karla]

@Kristin, I agree, (view spoiler)[She was lucky to have finally hit bottom and still be able to pull herself up. I think her love for Emma had a lot to do with it. (hide spoiler)]

Also, (view spoiler)[I can't believe Elijah stole her money! What a tool! He have called an ambulance when she passed out. (hide spoiler)]

[Samantha]

OMG I'm going through withdrawal! I had the book on my phone and started reading it. When I got to 5.00 the saddest thing happened.... it was only the sample!!!! I'm freaking out lol

[Karla]

Samantha wrote: "OMG I'm going through withdrawal! I had the book on my phone and started reading it. When I got to 5.00 the saddest thing happened.... it was only the sample!!!! I'm freaking out lol"

Wow, that sucks! I'll keep checking this thread, so I can talk with you about it when you finally get the book.

[K~Terror]

Karla wrote: "@Kristin, I agree, [spoilers removed]

Also, [spoilers removed]"

Yea - that (view spoiler)[really ticked me off! (hide spoiler)]

[Samantha]

Hey guess so I got the book yay! And I'm at 13.00. How do I discuss the book without giving spoilers away? Want to be courteous to others

[Samantha]

guys*