LITTLE BOOK CLUB discussion
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Jaeden: Can I ask what the story's about? I wouldn't mind reading it if you'd like :)
It's about a girl who lost her father and how she tries to cope with the loss.
I would also love to read and give feedback!
Okay, I'll probably end up putting them up tomorrow or saturday. Thanks. :)
I just put them up. We already have an epilogue written and are trying to write towards that. Warning, though, the story is a very rough draft.
Jaeden: I'll check it out a bit later today :)
Jaeden: These are my personal thoughts as I read the chapters. Sort of like my running commentary per chapter. As thoughts go, I think each to their own :) Some of these may have been answered in the chapter afterwards though. Ch1: Laura sounds a little bit stuck up and like a daddy's girl.
Ch2: Why did Jason ask Jen? What's wrong with going alone? Why did she get a dress so
late?
Ch3: What happened to her dad? Where's her brother?
Ch4: why did her dad do it? Why did she have that dream?
Ch5: Why the same dream again? Pasta thought is dad trying to get her to make the family reconnect?
Ch6: why did she lie? Why was Mrs Harris annoyed?
Ch7: What does everyone look like? Why/how is Laura rich? Why is Mrs Harris trying to force Laura to read? Why didn't Laura's dad want kids?
Ch8: What did you think of the poem? What's going to happen with Ethan? Dating? What happened with Jason? They never actually broke up?
Ch9: Sounds like she's sitting next to Nick at Wendy's. Who was it in the dream? Her dad and uncle?
Ch10: says Ben instead of Ethan near the start. Why the story within a story? It's a pretty good sub story though.
Ch11; I liked this sub story better of the two. Does Laura like writing now? Why did she lie?
I really like your point of why is it wrong to go alone, or maybe even just with a friend. I don't think that that has been done before.As for What happened to her dad, you saw that that was answered in the previous chapter but that is disclosed information for a little while longer.
Also, her dreams are probably one of my favorite things in the story. She's trying to find out, while in the dream, why he did it.
I'm not sure why I put the pasta in, I thought it would be a good way to have the family to just sit down together.
The reason Laura is lying is to convince herself that her dad isn't dead and that he's just going to come back one day.
I don't know why Mrs. Harris was annoyed, I plan on fixing that.
I see what you mean by is she rich, I need to explain that more thoroughly.
I'm just going to ditch Ethan and Jason as characters, I don't see them becoming important later.
As for why Laura's dad didn't want kids, he was just scared that he wouldn't do a good job.
The reason why Laura is being forced to read is so that her mind will be open to a way of creativity.
Laura's thoughts on the poem were actually my own thoughts on it.
The story's that Laura has written are just her trying to see if she is actually any good at it. So over the course of the story you'll read a lot of her stories probably.
I really appreciate the feedback. I'll get to work on that a little today, and work on it as much as I can over the next week or two. As soon as it's redone I'll upload the redone versions and continue on to Chapter 12. Really appreciate it! :)
Jaeden: You're very welcome :) I look forward to reading the next chapter
Jaeden: You're very welcome :) I look forward to reading the next chapter
I'll comment when I have a few chapters edited. :)
I just realized that I left a chapter out. But I can use that for a flashback I guess. I'll upload it in a little bit.
Actually leaving it where it originally was.
I just finished making the changes. I have another question now. What do you want to happen next?
Jaeden: I shall have a read when I get home from work and let you know :)
Jaeden: I shall have a read when I get home from work and let you know :)
Jaeden wrote: "Okay, thanks! :)"I'm interested in reading this. Sent you a friend request so that I could.
When you guys finish to where the story is now just let me know what you guys want to see next.
Jaeden: I read Chapter 12 a while ago but I must have forgotten to tell you what I though of it. Oops; sorry. I'll do that now:Ch12: what does she want to do with her life after that? "I just want to get on with my life, I want to discover what I want to do with it." You could expand on that possibly. But I like this story the most out of all the dreams, etc. I want to know what Mrs. Harris thought of it. Maybe Laura enters a writing competition and loses then she gives up or something similar? Just some ideas :)
Read five chapters so far. Here are my thoughts. 1:Kind of confusing. You could start the chapter out in the dress store with the same thoughs, and turn them into a coversation.
2:The timeline here is a little confusing. Maybe clarify that a little. And police don't let people into a crime scene so easily.
3: When she finds out, maybe have her stand there in shock. Most people take a minute to process. And maybe have the chapter break when it goes to two weeks later. The funeral seems a little short, too.
4: Why another time lapse? Maybe these events could occur a little bit closer together? And i think it is pretty much a repeat of chapter three.
5: Where is this dream going? Is it going to end up being her motivation to find out why her dad killed himself? It seems to have some supernatural elements to it. Is that what you're going for?
Bend the Bookshelf wrote: "Jaeden: I read Chapter 12 a while ago but I must have forgotten to tell you what I though of it. Oops; sorry. I'll do that now:Ch12: what does she want to do with her life after that? "I just wan..."
Bend the Bookshelf wrote: "Jaeden: I read Chapter 12 a while ago but I must have forgotten to tell you what I though of it. Oops; sorry. I'll do that now:
Ch12: what does she want to do with her life after that? "I just wan..."
I really like those points, I'll get to work on those.
Jacob wrote: "Read five chapters so far. Here are my thoughts. 1:Kind of confusing. You could start the chapter out in the dress store with the same thoughs, and turn them into a coversation.
2:The timeline ..."
I understand what you're getting at, I can fix some of the time lapses as well. However, the dreams she is having are not yet ready to be explained, she's still trying to figure it out.
Thanks for the feedback
Bend the Bookshelf wrote: "Jaeden: I read Chapter 12 a while ago but I must have forgotten to tell you what I though of it. Oops; sorry. I'll do that now:Ch12: what does she want to do with her life after that? "I just wan..."
I'll add Mrs. Harris' thoughts in the next chapter and have her do something with her writing. Also, any suggestions for relationships troubles?
Me and a friend are trying to write our first novel, we're currently at 11 chapters and around 17,000 words. I was wondering if I were to post those 11 chapters on my Goodreads page, if any of you would read them and give me some feedback on how you would want it to continue and/or how it could be improved.
Thanks for your time guys.