Amazon exiles discussion
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Today, I shall mostly be...
message 3901:
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Brass Neck
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Dec 18, 2021 02:17PM
Slow? Positively glacial!
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Brass Neck wrote: "Slow? Positively glacial!"Sadly, the glaringly obvious could be hitting me in the face at 100mph and I'd still be none the wiser.
So long as my wit and wisdom is appreciated ..... eventually!
Ha ha! 😛Off to Mum's later this morning after picking up en-route my Amazon and eBay parcels. I hate missing my Sunday lie-in.
"I hate missing my Sunday lie-in." - There's always the other 6 days of the week?
Collette wrote: "Collette wrote: "Brass Neck wrote: "Do slasher movies have the same impact in silent and black & white?"I doubt it!"
I just got that, btw! Slow on the uptake? Moi???"
No comment.
It'll be two years in March since I last set foot in a classroom and I miss it not a jot (so good luck Mr Zadawi trying to get retired teachers back in to fill the gaps). This fact will be of relevance later in this tale.I was walking Minnie on our usual morning route through the village and along the footpath along the bank of Buck Beck which forms the boundary of the country park and which, in its current state, would have the Somme Re-enactment Society drooling with its sucking, sliding quagmire conditions when we came to the footbridge to cross back into the park. Just before the bridge are a pair of pipes which cross the beck and which have the usual 'fan' railings at both ends and welded-on upturned v-profile panels to deter the youf. However two such under-occupied 'lads' were draped in the mid-section, their backs against one pipe and legs over the other, backsides dangling and I could hear gobshite remarks being made to people walking across the bridge so it was inevitable that I would be so addressed. I mentally prepared myself so I would not descend into an agricultural Anglo-Saxon rebuff so when one turned and started inanely mouthing off I replied, "How unusual for two villages to be missing their idiots." One laughed, the other pondered briefly, "Huh?" and then almost instantaneously followed with, "Mr Y..........?" My fame/notoriety clearly persists but when I laughingly confirmed they had the right guy I continued on my way to shouts of "Legend" and, jaw-droppingly since I was obese according to NHS BMI charts when I finished, "Sex-god Y........."! Not how I ever saw myself or consciously acted (and I never had Epstein, Maxwell nor Randy Andy on speed dial, honest), but it put a momentary spring in my step even though having two teen lads calling Sex-god at you with other walkers around also caused some minor discomfort. Made up a little for waking up at 5am, opening the kitchen door to make a cuppa and catching a whiff of Minnie's rear-end firework-induced outpourings lavished all across the kitchen floor. Luckily I didn't step into it (I don't wear slippers) but not the best start to the day.
"Sex God". Ha ha ha. Pity you missed that poo pressie Minnie left you. That would have been totally funny. 😆Going to bed before the bells this year was a good idea. Nice to get up this morning and not feel knackered. Today's been spent mostly watching Rizzoli & Isles. Tonight a nice bottle of red or white (haven't decided yet) and New Town Killers on dvd. Sorted.
Watched some Bollywood schmaltz last few days (getting in sentimental mood around xmas time), then some rockets shot in our neighbourhood, scared our cat shitless, then off to bed. No alcohol since 1995 (sorry squirrels, talk to yourself!), so were able to spend wonderful time by the ocean, enjoying sun, cliffs, wind, huge waves today.
Brass Neck wrote: "It'll be two years in March since I last set foot in a classroom and I miss it not a jot (so good luck Mr Zadawi trying to get retired teachers back in to fill the gaps). This fact will be of relev..."I am glad to hear I'm not the only one experiencing the pleasure of finding a dogs liquid shite in the kitchen. The smell actually reached up the stairs and pre-warned me.
As Molly Pup is in a crate she'd fired it through the bars, making cleaning it a mite more complicated.
well, the answer is simple - let the dogs sleep where they like! - on the bed? why not? they'll keep you nice and warm, and give you a great big slobbery kiss to advise of their need to micturate, or by chance to access the garden to release a steaming stream of skittery shite! no keech splattered kitchens for me!
Brass Neck wrote: "It'll be two years in March since I last set foot in a classroom and I miss it not a jot (so good luck Mr Zadawi trying to get retired teachers back in to fill the gaps). This fact will be of relev..."Your story(ies) reminded me of the books I am currently reading - Joanne Harris's Malbry series (yes, her of Chocolat fame). But the three Malbry books are a world away - psychological thrillers set in a boys' school (albeit a private one). I've thoroughly enjoyed Gentlemen and Players (2005) and Different Class (2016). They veer between the 1980s and 2005 and depict the wide range of teachers and boys with their many quirks, foibles and, in some cases, nasty vindictiveness. I'm looking forward to 2021's A Narrow Door which will be next cab off the rank. Highly recommended for both humour and twists.
Brass Neck wrote: "It'll be two years in March since I last set foot in a classroom and I miss it not a jot (so good luck Mr Zadawi trying to get retired teachers back in to fill the gaps). This fact will be of relev..."You must have managed to have exuded a charm, without being sinister/predator like.
Otherwise I guess the shout of Paedo Y--------, would have rung out. :0
"You must have managed to have exuded a charm" - what's with the past tense, huh?!!
The Pope giving family planning advice.Basically kill your pets and get breeding. Rofl....
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe...
Treating myself to a couple of pints on front of a roaring pub fire after enduring a two hour dental appointment.
Ahhh, just drinking purely for medicinal reasons then? ... (*giggles*)I hope that's helping to wipe out the memory and take your Mind off any pain, Sussex ... x
I'm enjoying a very large Snowball here ... all because Iceland had a flash sale on Warninks before Christmas (£8 a bottle!) and so I simply just HAD to treat myself to 2 bottles! ;o>
Purely medicinal indeed, Suzy. I might even have a third. :-)
SussexWelsh wrote: "Treating myself to a couple of pints on front of a roaring pub fire after enduring a two hour dental appointment."2 hours in the chair of doom, you're due several drinks.
I'm now on my sixth!! That really wasn't planned.
Ohhh Squirrels!!! ... you're probably going to end up in having one Hell of a Hangover as well as having Jaw ache in the morning, Sussex! ;oO
Thunder...lightening...2 am puppy letting out, in the lashing hail :0
Okay, so today it rained ... and then we had Hailstones ... followed by Sleet ... which turned into Snow ... and then it rained again ... followed by more Hailstones ... and more Sleet ... and even more Snow ... and then we had a few dry hours with a little bit of sunshine ... followed by more Sleet ... and then lots of Snow ... and our Garden is now a Winter wonderland with little Mitzi-shaped Paw Prints and funny-looking Snow Angel patterns all over the Back Lawn ;o>
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Okay, so today it rained ... and then we had Hailstones ... followed by Sleet ... which turned into Snow ... and then it rained again ... followed by more Hailstones ... and more Sleet ... and even..."Snow! Jealous. I love proper snow.
Only around an inch or two but it's lasted and is still out there ;o>
suzysunshine7 wrote: "Only around an inch or two but it's lasted and is still out there ;o>"That's Serial's mantra, surely?
Brass Neck wrote: "suzysunshine7 wrote: "Only around an inch or two but it's lasted and is still out there ;o>"That's Serial's mantra, surely?"
That was way too easy an opening for you, Brass.
"That was way too easy an opening for you"not with a one or a two i wouldn't think!
Serial wrote: "Brass Neck wrote: "suzysunshine7 wrote: "Only around an inch or two but it's lasted and is still out there ;o>"That's Serial's mantra, surely?"
That was way too easy an opening for you, Brass."
Only when you bend over Serial.
Watching Snowdrop playing like a chubby baby loon on her play tower. Also had a nice bottle of red (courtesy of my neighbour Boab) and watched a couple of good films...Population 436 and Penny Dreadful. Bedtime soon for both of us...
'Only when you bend over Serial.'You spend too much time with that mutt, Brass.
Mainly on all fours sniffing arses.
:0
"Mainly on all fours sniffing arses"his own! now that's clever!
Tech XXIII wrote: ""Mainly on all fours sniffing arses"his own! now that's clever!"
He's a bendy boy, that Brassole.
Serial wrote: "Tech XXIII wrote: ""Mainly on all fours sniffing arses"his own! now that's clever!"
He's a bendy boy, that Brassole."
You wish!
The further 'adventures' of Minnie (the f^&*ing Minx). I have to pick my places where she can off-lead very carefully and our morning walks along one side of Buck Beck seemed to fit the bill with more opportunities for off-piste 'see-you-dad' exploration on one side than t'other but she does return fairly quickly when called ..... until today. She was trotting along quite nicely close to me, sniffing and peeing at will when she suddenly bolted, little legs pumping for all she was worth. I couldn't see what what attracting her as the path bent slightly around some large hedging but she'd stopped, looking intently across the field (quagmire). A chap with is dog coming the other way said a deer had run across. I looked but couldn't see anything in the field so I didn't immediately try to get the lead on. In a microsecond she stiffened and then bolted down the bank and into the field through the barbed wire and then I saw it wasn't a deer but a fox (this was about 10.30) and she goes absolutely crackers if she sees one. She charged across the field uttering the strangulated cry she reserves for squirrels which have just escaped up a tree and disappeared into the thick hedging after it from whence other high-pitched squeals and yelps emerged frequently. She did remerge after a few minutes of nervy, powerless waiting up on the path and came back to the barbed wire fence but without the stimulus of the fox appeared flummoxed by it and I couldn't really get down to it as the was a water-filled ditch alongside it. She seemed to understand when I pointed back towards the place she'd first gone through and I walked back to where there was a stile but then the bloody fox reappeared ...... and Minnie didn't! I trudged across the quagmire calling her but I didn't see nor hear anything. For the first time I faced the prospect of having to go home and await someone finding her and ringing the number on her collar so I disconsolately walked back towards the country park exit. On one of the roads edging the park a postie said, "Alright mate" to which, having seen a small, very wet and muddy black and white dog waiting just ahead, I replied, "I am now". It was only when I got and looked down at the foot of my chair to see her collar lying on the floor from giving her a good brushing the night before! If she hadn't returned to me ...........
Brass Neck wrote: "The further 'adventures' of Minnie (the f^&*ing Minx). I have to pick my places where she can off-lead very carefully and our morning walks along one side of Buck Beck seemed to fit the bill with m..."You should start training her to an Acme whistle. They're brilliant. They're not a magic bullet, you can't just blow it and expect results. But if you do reward training with one, you can have a really strong recall with the dog.
I've just started with Molly Pup.
Using this book.
Total Recall: Perfect Response Training for Puppies and Adult Dogs
Tonight's plans...a couple of Advocaats and an episode or 2 of the brilliant Monk.
"a couple of Advocaats" - is one of them Dick?
Aye, he's a regular visitor to our abode!
A challenging weekend! Blind Col asked if I'd go to Skegness Butlitz with him for the Rock & Blues weekend. I'd stayed in a twin room with him once before about 4 years ago without major issues but since then he's got throat cancer of which more later.His booking was of course carried over from last year and, being blind and having no computer or smartphone he had no paperwork but know what accommodation block we should be in and he did have a paper Covid pass and his blue badge has photo ID which were required. We went to one drive-through check-in but they had no details and sent us to the other at the opposite end of the vast camp where they also had no details but a helpful member of staff found out that he wasn't originally coming in a car so we needed to go to the walk-in check-in. There I couldn't get a signal at the desk to access my Covid pass (which disappears pretty quickly and you have to reload it - I had to go outside and restart my phone before I got it and we were in. The chalet was exactly as you'd expect, tired with twin beds with a single mains socket. It was at least warm so off we trotted for some music.
There are 4 stages with the Introducing Stage in the cold and breezy Skyline Pavilion, a glorified tent, where new bands get 45 min slots to 'compete' for votes with winner of each day being invited back next year. Three other more sheltered and warmer auditoria operate at different times but you have to choose which of the three acts that are on at the same time you want to see.
I had a few beers and enjoyed the music and both marvelled at and was reviled by the senior hooligans who bowled around the place shouting, hollering and mauling each other in increasingly sozzled condition like Covid had disappeared and they all had endlessly resilient livers. Many of these characters bragged on the unofficial Facebook page for the event about the concoctions of spirits with dissolved sweeties in them and they had endless disposable shot glasses to imbibe each other's hooch. I even saw a cheeseboard and crackers produced by one group. Whatever floats your boat I guess. Mind you with the choice of beer being limited to mass-market amber or ruby bottled ales or nitro-keg crap like Stones or Carling at eye-watering prices I can see why they do it. And so to bed .......
Col had been spitting into a baby-beaker all night, slightly less conspicuous than the big white bin-liners he been using at first but that minimal effort at discretion tends to be undermined by his insistence on putting the partially-transparent and rapidly filling container on the table, often shared with strangers. He had commented that the radiation he'd had had meant for a brief period he could actually have a cup of tea and swallow it but alas, no more. He's had a proper hospital bed installed in his hovel but as soon as he lay flat on the chalet bed it started; cough, hawk, reach for beaker, spit noisily, replace beaker on side table with a bang and repeat every 5 minutes. I slept not a wink. When he briefly slept he snored like Concord taking off! I resolved that I would not drink so I could drive the 40 miles home and kip in my own bed little knowing what was in store.
Col had arranged for a carer to come twice a day to the chalet to give him a feed and water through his tube. His usuall, carer had asked me, if Col asked, could I give him some water. I gulped and said I'd give it a go so when I picked him up she showed me what to do. That thing that stays with me is the instruction to kink the tube at the end ".... or you'll be wearing the contents of his stomach"!. As it happens he never asked. Normally the feeding, using a pump takes hours but this was to be administered by gravity and, once the mixture was thinned, it went in in 30 minutes with no ill effects on each occasion.
I left Butlitz about 10.30 knowing Col's intention was to watch the last act ending at 2am and that he can navigate his way around but I was so desperate for some kip. I put the satnav on for our house and set off when almost immediately it sent me down a turning I knew I hadn't come in on but figured it must be a shortcut and pressed on the road surface deteriorated and then I hit a big pothole which blew out the front tyre - big hole in the side. A certain German car maker in their wisdom don't give you a spare or a jack, only a container of gunk and air pump which might deal with a nail but when you can put fingers into the hole in the side, not so much. That's when you discover the limitations of the recovery cover with your insurance - £55 excess and a £3 a mile excess on anything over 10 miles. Going back the 2 or 3 miles to Butlitz wasn't an option - would there be a tyres place open with the right tyres on a Sunday and we'd have to clear out on Monday morning so back to home it was. I knew the road I'd turned onto and that I hadn't turned off but the road had become a differently named one so it took a while for the breakdown truck to find me during which the cold really started to bite - I was shivering by the time I clambered into the warm truck cab. I finally arrived home about 1.30 and in bed for 2am. At least I did sleep for about 6 hours off and on. I borrowed the wife's car to return for the Sunday and a thankfully uneventful afternoon and evening.
I reckon at least half the bands had to be replaced at the last minute due to Covid some being clearly under-rehearsed and with stand-in members but kudos for filling the holes. Oh, and the food available to those who didn't have a 'package' was also shiite and, naturally, overpriced for what it was. Never, ever going again, regardless of any Covid-impact allowances!
Brass Neck wrote: "A challenging weekend! Blind Col asked if I'd go to Skegness Butlitz with him for the Rock & Blues weekend. I'd stayed in a twin room with him once before about 4 years ago without major issues but..."I was fine all the way through that, but the words 'once the mixture was thinned'....................shudder..................poor Col, fks sake.
At least he ain't giving up on living life to the full.
What a weekend, Brass. Holy hell.
Brass Neck wrote: "A challenging weekend! Blind Col asked if I'd go to Skegness Butlitz with him for the Rock & Blues weekend. I'd stayed in a twin room with him once before about 4 years ago without major issues but..."Crikey! That's the true definition of friendship. I was exhausted just reading it. Lord knows how you pulled up after a long weekend. I'm sure you're making Col's illness a whole lot more bearable for him.
He would have gone anyway, I just think the idea I was going with him made the carers more comfortable in making feeding arrangements. He went on his own to another gig last night at Yardbirds a mile down the road from his hovel and is going to see John Otway solo on Friday before we decamp to Leicester for another weekend fest - I will be booking separate rooms!He must have bought up to 20 cds, maybe more and 5+ t shirts over the weekend despite the fact in winter he wears a jumper and never reveals the latter. The main point of getting the cds is of course to get them defaced with signatures, unfortunately one guy I wanted to see was on solo at 12 on Sunday and then again with a band around 4 which I had told him I'd be back for. He had of course jumped the gun and bought all of his cds at the lunchtime gig including a copy of the new one for me. "I think," he said as he dug it out of his pocket, "'e's signed them all." Sure enough my copy has "To Col, best wishes ......" scrawled across the front!
Been doing my quickie housework including bear brushing for tomorrow, so tonight I shall relax with a vodka and a couple of eps of Death In Paradise.
Listening to the 60 mile an hour wind blowing outside and trying not to feel cold. Apart from that, tonight's plans are some Birds Of A Feather on UKTVPlay, and Pulse on dvd, along with a nice bottle of red.
It's not blowing as strongly down here but, for January, it's a warm wind - no gloves or hat while walking Minnie this morning. We were walking past 10am on one of the last stretches of path where I feel confident(ish) of letting her off the leash with the Beck on one side and a 3-4m bank on the other, albeit with paths off up the bank at regular intervals but she mostly ignores those or hoofs up for a shuftie and straight back down again when ........ I heard a strange animal noise. I looked ahead to see a fox nonchalantly sitting at the entrance to its lair halfway up the bank amidst some dense brambles but with a clear path up the bank. "Oh, shi....," I thought but Minnie had heard but not clocked the fox so I produced the squeaky tugger (calm down Serial) that seems to work occasionally to distract and get her attention. She turned towards it and My heart momentarily leapt as I reached down to grab her harne..... and she was gone, up the slope but off to the left under all the brambles and then up to the top of the slope and never once taking the 1m to the right that would have brought her to the entrance. One day there will be carnage and while Minnie may be the victor I can't imagine she'll escape serious injury if she does corner a fox or enter its lair. In the meantime she did respond to my calls and frantic pressing of the underwhelming squeakers in the tuggy but it was the closest call yet. We continued our walk and crossed over the bridge over the Beck into the park; she would usually have been off-leash for this bit but there was a small woman with a big dog she was struggling to control and I'd seen the 'dog-biscuit lady' (obvious reasons) exit the park up ahead so I didn't want Minnie running off in the wrong direction to beg for a treat and she was still on. She then balked and came to a stop well behind me just over the bridge so I still hadn't released her when an adult deer suddenly bounded out from a coppice and across the path and the rough grass at which Minnie was excitedly straining at the leash and doing what in an antelope would be called 'pronking' - bouncing up and forward for a better view. Reader, she stayed on the lead until we hit home! It's like she's the shortest lurcher in the world such is her apparent prey drive.
Brass Neck wrote: "It's not blowing as strongly down here but, for January, it's a warm wind - no gloves or hat while walking Minnie this morning. We were walking past 10am on one of the last stretches of path where ..."Christ! I do enjoy these travelogues of Brass and Minnie. In the wilds of greater Grimsby.
Tune in for the next exciting episode!😲
And I thought I prattled on about Snowdrop....
Collette wrote: "And I thought I prattled on about Snowdrop...."ROFL......and then some....
Amazon exiles
Books mentioned in this topic
Time of the Child (other topics)This Is Happiness (other topics)
Time of the Child (other topics)
Mog's Christmas (other topics)
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