Blurb feed back- YA Sci-fi/fantasy romance, first in a series

[Tyerone]

HI, this is the first draft and any pointers you can give me are much appreciated.

Twelve-and-a-half-year-old Travis Tuner longs for the day he becomes the victor and not the victim.

Enter Oblivion, who offers Travis the power to give his bullies their comeuppance, at the low cost of jump starting Armageddon.

Travis declines Oblivion’s offer, and they battle. When all seems lost, Travis taps into a dormant strength, driving back Oblivion. But not before he’s irrevocably changed.

Following this encounter, Travis develops a suite of powers that comes at the price of his life.

Travis resigns himself to his fate, until a summer romance, which may be his first and only shot at love, changes everything.

If Travis masters his powers, he’ll save himself and the multiverse. But defeating Oblivion won’t be easy.

Will he become the master of his destiny, or is his future set in stone?

For fans of Buffy, The X-Men, and shonen anime/manga.

[Keith]

I think I need some reason to believe that Travis has any capacity to match, let alone succeed against, Oblivion - at 12 years old.

How many years elapse before Travis gets his summer romance? What was he doing all that time?

The multiverse thing seems like it got dropped in at the end; if it's a critical part of the story I think it needs an earlier intro.

Why wouldn't defeating Oblivion be easy? He's already done one once before, at 12, and without any time to practice his skills. Seems like the second battle would be over before it even began.

[Kate]

You have 4 paragraphs devoted to the backstory of the book. I think you can condense that into 1 sentence. It's marketed as fantasy romance, but we don't know anything about his love interest.

Also this blurb is too vague/confusing. "Following this encounter, Travis develops a suite of powers that comes at the price of his life." What does that mean? He's going to die? He's changed into something else, no longer human? Why is this summer romance his only shot at love? He'll save himself and multiverse from what?

[Tyerone]

Thanks for the feedback Kate and Keith. I revised my blurb to address the issues you mentioned.