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Scout and Connor
message 5351:
by
Connor
(new)
Aug 18, 2015 04:25PM
Peter walked in and sat next to her. "Hey."
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She looked over at him. "Hey." She said softly. That morning they found she wasn't pregnant for the third time.
"So…I've been thinking about why you aren't pregnant yet and I came to a conclusion." He said
She raised an eyebrow. "A conclusion? It's not a math problem." She said defensively. "It's just not working. It's normal."
"I found a box of birth control in the cabinet a month ago. When I saw it again a few weeks ago there was some missing." He sighed. "I don't want to get in a fight or anything. I just want you to be honest with me."
Caroline bit her lip. She looked down at her lap, playing with the blanket on her lap. "I'm sorry." She whispered.
He put his arms around her abs held her. "Don't be. I understand why you did it. I lost a kid as well." He muttered
She whimpered and stood up out of his arms. "You don't understand. I mean I know you lost a baby to but I literally felt our dead son in my tummy. It was the worst feeling of my life." She began to hyperventilate.
He stood up as well. "Caroline, please calm down." He held out his hand.
"Fuck." she gasped, clenching and unclenching her hands. She was about to have a full blown panic attack.
"Caroline, breath. Breath with me." He put his hand in hers.
"I-I-I c-c-c-can-n-n't-t." She stuttered. She began to shake and curled up on the floor.
She kept breathing fast and deeply as her body shook. She cried and clung to him.
He rubbed her back. "Breath. Close your eyes and just listen to my voice."
She closed her eyes and nodded quickly.
He breathed slowly. "Deep breaths. In," he took a breath in, "out." He slowly let it out. He did it again.
Caroline whimpered and did what he was doing, calming down her heart rate and breathing.
"Listen to my heart beat." He moved one of her hands to his chest. "It beats for you and no one else. It will always be yours."
She choked on a sob. "I'm so sorry." She breathed.
"Do not be sorry. It is not your fault and never will be. Now breath." He took another deep breath with her.
She inhaled deeply and released it slowly. "I just wasn't ready...and I didn't want to anger you."
"I shouldn't have pushed you. I should have respected your first choice. Breath." He inhaled.
She breathed along with him. "I'm just so fucked up in the head that I didn't consider how you would feel." She sniffed.
"You don't have to. I worry about us both so you don't have to." He looked in her eyes.
Her eyes were red. "I will. I want to. I really do...I just think my medication caused the miscarriage." She pouted.
"We'll find a way but only when you are ready." He put a hand on her cheek. "I love you."
"I love you to. So much." She sniffled, putting her hand over his.
He kissed her forehead. "Do you want to go on the couch or stay here?"
He helped her up then sat on the couch with her.
She climbed into his lap and wiped her face against his shirt.
"I'll stop the pill." She whispered.
"Do you absolutely want to?" He asked.
She nodded. "I do yeah. It's almost been two years.."
"Okay. We don't have to try again right way." He said
She nodded. "I'm on my period anyway." She said.
"That actually explains so much at the moment." He said
"What do you mean?" She looked up at him.
"I just meant…I thought…yeah never mind." He cleared his throat.
She sat up at bit. "Tell me." She said sternly.
"If I do then you'll be mad at me." He said. "I take back what I said."
"No I do not want to. Please don't make me." He said.
"I'm making you." She crossed her arms.
He sat up. "I will tell you…if you catch me!" He jumped off the couch and ran off.
Caroline groaned. "Fuck." She muttered and dashed after him.
Caroline checked their bedroom first, then the second bedroom. "Come on Paul." She sighed.
