Hello all, My name is Aaron and I am am looking for someone to read through the first couple chapters of my fantasy novel (pace, character, etc). I believe that I have created a very interesting and unique world, and I am looking for constructive criticism and honest feedback (positive or negative). Preferably, I am looking for someone who like world building fantasy novels (Game of Thrones, Eye of the World, etc), but all readers are welcome. I do not think that you will find very many spelling or grammar mistakes (although I am sure there will be some)- so your work will be more in critiquing than editing.
The synopsis of my story is longer than I can describe, but to be brief, I have created a world in which a species called the refas have come to dominate. They eat, enslave, and sacrifice humans to their god.
The story follows four different main characters- including a pair of humans who live in the last free human city, a reffan princess, and a human slave. I would love to send you my prologue to gauge your interest further. Here is a brief blurb extracted from the prologue:
The slaving scaffolds were easy to pick out, because whereas only a few customers surrounded each of the other booths, hundreds of refas crowded around each scaffold, trying to push their way to the front of the action. Unfortunately, there were far more customers than there were humans. The vast majority of refas would return home empty-handed. "Famous for their hard work ethic, intelligence, and obedience, humans formed the core of every Shandan industry, working in the fields, domestically, or wherever else their masters happened to place them. Unfortunately, humans also seemed to be disappearing at a far faster rate than they were bred, the reasons, easily identifiable. "Firstly, humans, wretched though they may be, were far too succulent for their own good. There was no taste in the world quite as scrumptious as moist tender human flesh, the mere thought causing Onquip’s mouth to salivate. "Secondly, and far more influential, was the promise of the refan Gods thousands of years before. After death, the number of human limbs each refa consumed throughout his life were all to be sewn together to become slaves for eternity. The more humans a refa ate, the better their postmortem would be. Many refiis were known to have spent half of their fortunes to ensure a grand life in the world to come, and although such a decision was clearly sensible, it bade poorly for the future of both the humans and the refas."
My name is Aaron and I am am looking for someone to read through the first couple chapters of my fantasy novel (pace, character, etc).
I believe that I have created a very interesting and unique world, and I am looking for constructive criticism and honest feedback (positive or negative).
Preferably, I am looking for someone who like world building fantasy novels (Game of Thrones, Eye of the World, etc), but all readers are welcome.
I do not think that you will find very many spelling or grammar mistakes (although I am sure there will be some)- so your work will be more in critiquing than editing.
The synopsis of my story is longer than I can describe, but to be brief, I have created a world in which a species called the refas have come to dominate. They eat, enslave, and sacrifice humans to their god.
The story follows four different main characters- including a pair of humans who live in the last free human city, a reffan princess, and a human slave.
I would love to send you my prologue to gauge your interest further.
Here is a brief blurb extracted from the prologue:
The slaving scaffolds were easy to pick out, because whereas only a few customers surrounded each of the other booths, hundreds of refas crowded around each scaffold, trying to push their way to the front of the action. Unfortunately, there were far more customers than there were humans. The vast majority of refas would return home empty-handed.
"Famous for their hard work ethic, intelligence, and obedience, humans formed the core of every Shandan industry, working in the fields, domestically, or wherever else their masters happened to place them. Unfortunately, humans also seemed to be disappearing at a far faster rate than they were bred, the reasons, easily identifiable.
"Firstly, humans, wretched though they may be, were far too succulent for their own good. There was no taste in the world quite as scrumptious as moist tender human flesh, the mere thought causing Onquip’s mouth to salivate.
"Secondly, and far more influential, was the promise of the refan Gods thousands of years before. After death, the number of human limbs each refa consumed throughout his life were all to be sewn together to become slaves for eternity. The more humans a refa ate, the better their postmortem would be. Many refiis were known to have spent half of their fortunes to ensure a grand life in the world to come, and although such a decision was clearly sensible, it bade poorly for the future of both the humans and the refas."
Thank you for your time,
Aaron