Chapter 3

[Olga]

Hello!

Here we will discuss Chapter 3 of the book.

[Nico]

This is actually about chapters 1-3 for me since I didn't really stop reading long enough to write up my opinion before that point.

I'm interested in this book if only because right now I've been thinking about gender again. I read Ursula K. Le Guin's The Left Hand of Darkness a while back, and it became one of my favorites, and that's definitely the fiction book that tackles gender the best from what I've read so far.

Alanna's struggle with gender is almost excruciating in these early chapters, and it's something that I can empathize with. I recognize it because it was definitely me. I hated being a girl a lot of the time. I never felt like I could fit in. I never wanted to have my nails done (still don't, and still have not), yet wearing a skirt was okay, especially if I could add my own style to it. I knew I looked incredibly feminine, sounded incredibly feminine, but just felt miserable thinking about say purses and didn't own one until 25 when I had so many chronic illnesses that I needed one to just... put all that illness-related stuff (before that I just used a wallet).

It took me ages to realize that being a woman could be what I wanted it to be and that many of the girls around me were restricting themselves and thereby restricting my own view of what it could be. I now no longer care. I let myself enjoy what I like without regard to what "gender" it's supposed to be identified with. And we do hurt our children and young adults this way. Me wanting to play video games as a girl was strange, and young boys wanting to play with dolls or My Little Pony makes them targets for abuse and bullying. It's happening less than it did, but it still happens.

So I found it interesting that even though Alanna tried to assume the role of a guy, she still stood out. She couldn't quite fit in yet, something wasn't right and so she was a weak link and the bully per usual found her out. I am curious about her healing, and the suggestion that if she ignores those powers and lets them lie unused it could be problematic.