Weird Things >> Spiders on Face = NEVER OKAY

[Sally, la reina]

Or some sort of horrific spider nest in the wall behind my bed. **shudder**

[janine]

if there was a horrific spider nest this would have happened more often lagomorph.

[Sarah]

Consider switching from fly-based moisturizer?

[Sally, la reina]

harumph.

"more often"

[janine]

what did i do wrong?

[Sarah]

You should have said "oftener," janine. Or "most oftenest." Or "lagomorph."

[Jim]

Sally wrote: "SPIDER IN BED ON FACE for the SECOND TIME in a year! ! ! ! ! ! !"

I would tell Sweeter that it is now his job to stay up at night and keep the spiders off of you.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Sleep with a cheesecloth wrapped tightly over your face?

[Jim]

Lobstergirl wrote: "Sleep with a cheesecloth wrapped tightly over your face?"

How many layers, are we going for the mummy look?

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Just one layer should do it. Cheesecloth is pretty finely woven.

[Cynthia]

back to interesting words...In my journalism days I loved using "brouhaha" in a headline. It was merited only on rare occasions.

[Jonathan]

You must have worked for a broadsheet, Cynthia. Brouhaha is high-brow stuff for a tabloid headline, at least around here.

[Sally, la reina]

You guys. There is no "more often" that would be worse. Giant spiders leisurely strolling across the FACE is not okay. Never. Not once a day nor once a year.

And as if a layer of ANYTHING would make it okay. A layer of burning steel that would singe off the feet of the little fuckers would not only hurt me, but it would NOT BE ENOUGH.

[Jonathan]

Arachnophobe?

[Sally, la reina]

No, I just loathe the fucking freaks.

[Sally, la reina]

Did I mention it was using my face as some sort of pathway?

[Jonathan]

How large was this eight-legged beast?

[Félix]

You're too young to have lines to follow.

[Sally, la reina]

It had a throbbing white belly about the size of two sesame seeds.

[Félix]

Throbbing, huh?

[Sally, la reina]

Pulsating. Heaving. It was probably getting ready to burst forth a million little white spider babies in my nostril.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Oh, pfft. I was picturing something large.

[Sally, la reina]

now you are dead to me.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Pshaw.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Sally wrote: "Did I mention it was using my face as some sort of pathway?"

You were probably the shortest distance between two points.

[Cynthia]

Jonathan wrote: "You must have worked for a broadsheet, Cynthia. Brouhaha is high-brow stuff for a tabloid headline, at least around here."

No tabloids for me. Only fine upstanding newspapers like the Iowa State Daily, The Iowa City Press Citizen, The Waterloo Courier and the Clinton Herald.

[[deleted user]]

Sally aren't we paying enough attention to you?

::sets up a comfortable cushion for knees to pay appropriate homage to Sally::

[Phoenix]

I for one think that spider should die TWICE for invading your face space, Sally! Spiders are just rude!

::sits next to Gail...how've you been?::

[[deleted user]]

::hugs Alecia:: I've been fine thanks for asking. ::gets comfortable, offers caramello koala::

[Sally, la reina]

::prepares to receive appropriate attention::

[Félix]

::prepares to watch for inappropriate attention::

[Phoenix]

::waggles eyebrows at Larry...was that inappropriate enough?::

::hugs Gail back...accepts some of the koala...when in Rome or Australia :D ::

[Jim]

::wonders what kind of attention Sally is expecting in the Weird Things thread::

[Carol]

I have the proper amount of outrage toward that awful spider and his mean friend of some months ago. Which is to say, a lot of outrage.

[Scout]

A fun fact under my Snapple cap said that people swallow seven spiders in a lifetime.

[Félix]

Now how could they possibly know that?

[[deleted user]]

::sneaks invisible spider into Larry's beer::

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

Maybe Snapple is referring to the people of Cambodia, who eat tarantulas.

[Scout]

Hell, why trust a Snapple cap?

**sneaks another spider into Larry's beer**

[Sally, la reina]

The people of Snapple apparently know what the spiders of Fort Collins are up to.

[janine]

Scout wrote: "A fun fact under my Snapple cap said that people swallow seven spiders in a lifetime."

that's just an urban myth. i hope.

[Janice]

Is Snapple spiking their tea with microscopic spiders?

[Aynge]

Last night I happened on Animal Planet and these two monstrous shrimps were carrying a massive starfish back to their lair. They didn't even look like shrimps. I had to wait for David Attenborough to tell me what they were. Good Lord.

[Fareeha]

that sucks. i woke up to one hanging above me while in the shower... not the best time.

[Phil]

Fareeha wrote: "that sucks. i woke up to one hanging above me while in the shower... not the best time."

A monstrous shrimp in the shower??    ::shudders::

[Fareeha]

haha no i meant a spider... gues i forgot to mention that part.

[Sarah]

Day-O!

[Annette]

'Hubbub' - 2 us but not together.

[Lobstergirl, el principe]

It was weird, and gross, watching Mila Kunis on the red carpet, next to Wolf Blitzer who was acting as if he was her date or something.

[Heidi]

OHHHHHHHH FUCK NAWW!!!

SPIDER ACROSS THE FACE WHILE YOU'RE SLEEPING=NOT FUCKING OKAY.

TWO SPIDERS ACROSS THE FACE WHILE SLEEPING=DEFINITELY CALL FOR A CAN O' WHOOPASS.

Sally, were you cussing your head off and punching things and screaming? I would've been.