77k Spy Mil. Thriller/ CLOSED for swaps: open samples

[Jerry]

7/27 Thank you David for swapping with me. As I now have three I am no longer accepting swaps so I can focus on reading my new friends' great stories. But please feel free to read description and request a sample chapter if you are interested.
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7/25 update: Thank you Judy and Harry for trading. Provided you don't hate my work and want nothing at all to do with it -EVER- I will put your names in acknowledgements. I can still take on one more and get your work back within 2 weeks.
Happy writing :)
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7/21
Hello all you wonderful writers and readers out there 😊I am looking for a beta swap for my complete/self edited 77k manuscript: Fiction Thriller (spy) /light sci-fi/ light military. It caters to readers 18 and up and contains language, violence, and sex; but these are by far NOT THE FOCUS. I can send you an abridged version with these elements toned way down, and the plot will remain solid (albeit not as spicey ;) )

I am most interested to know plot holes, inconsistencies (I am leaving a name inconsistency on purpose to see if you catch it 😉 ) stupid stuff that makes no sense (like Game of Thrones Season 8), pacing problems, clichés and tropes, or things I may have inadvertently written that exist in published works (we all know it happens). I will provide a list of other things I need to know that I will check on your work as well. I do NOT WANT you to get bogged down with grammar. I will hire a line editor for that crap after I make structural changes based on your important feedback.
I have a day job so I understand if you work too: We can work out a schedule that works for both of us.

For You: Expect a through review of your book. Although this is my first adventure into fiction, I am a very experienced technical writer of legal documents and used to peer review. I know how to offer constructive advice and will NEVER EVER INSULT you or your work or try to change the essence or main elements of what your book is about. I will LISTEN to your critique and not get defensive.

I will read most genres but here are my strengths from greatest to least: 1. (specialty area) Spy Thriller/military (Tom Clancy is my favorite author) 2. Historical Fiction, 3. Thriller, 4. Sci-Fi, 5. Fantasy (all sub genres - love dragons though), 6. Mystery 7. YA -coming of age 8. (weakest) Chick-lit
Will not do: Non-Fiction, Horror or anything excessively gory (like Saw); sexist, racist, or homophobic mesage, anything over 100k words, anything I cannot convert to Word format.

If you think we could be a match, please read this brief description:

The Diamond Islands Revolution is set on a planet in an undiscovered part of our universe similar to earth, named Poseidon. People from all nations have gathered to compete in the Poseidon World Games, an athletic competition (similar to our Olympics). Gretchen Kauffman (protagonist), her twin brother, and their crossfit team are pumped up and ready to bring back the gold for their country. Happiness and a festive spirit of togetherness fills the air of the beautiful host nation, the Diamond Islands.

Conflict: Unbeknownst to the competitors a sinister plot is at hand orchestrated by Brigadier Erikson Killian (antagonist). Sleeper cell agents from a hostile country have been activated to execute a plan to overthrow the Diamond Islands government. An assassin named Alfonz is ordered to execute the Royal Kaimana family but hesitates as he has fallen in love with the princess. A captured warhero, Lieutenant Furio Augosteen, working hard labor in a mine and only months away from freedom, is manipulated into leading a revolution in order to save his friends.

The story escalates to its climax as Gretchen has snuck out of the safety of the athletic village to hang out with her best friend, Angela, when the violent revolutionaries sweep through and begin killing foreigners and those opposed to their cause. Gretchen and Angela are caught in the carnage and must fight for their lives to escape packs of rapacious rebels.

Thank you for reading! If you are ready to book your ticket to this world please let me know.

[Judy]

Hi, Jerry,
I would love to swap manuscripts, although mine is only at 14,000 words, about a third done. If you are willing to look at it, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Mine is a historical fiction on the transition of Cole Younger from boy to seasoned soldier, skips the outlaw years, but ends with him in prison where he ironically finds peace. It is my first attempt, so I am a developing as a writer. I have done much research on his life and the border wars and live on the edge of a Younger farm. The places he experienced this story are all around me.
Let me know if you are interested.

Judy Jordan

[Jerry]

Judy wrote: "Hi, Jerry,
I would love to swap manuscripts, although mine is only at 14,000 words, about a third done. If you are willing to look at it, I would love to hear your thoughts.

Mine is a historical f..."

Hi Judy, and thank you for responding to my post.
I am a big fan of History and Westerns and have heard about the Younger Brothers. I would love to learn more about those aspects of his life you mentioned and see your fictional interpretation.

Since you have 14,000 words how about I just send you the first few chapters of my book around that same length?
Also, In my first chapter, there is a paragraph with foreplay between two characters in love. Nothing over the top but I will remove it if it you wish. It will take out some flavor, but none of the substance of my plot.

Please let me know 🙂

[Judy]

You can leave in the foreplay part.

I just want to say from your intro, I think you have a dynamic writing style. I will enjoy reading what you send me. My email is rbjrph@comcast.net.

Judy

[Jerry]

Thank you so much, Judy. I am sending it to you now from my email: jlwestii@hotmail.com. Please send me your story when you are ready. My goal is to comment back to you a week from when you send it.