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Hi Devanshi, My novel tells the dark but comedic story of Joe, an underachiever young lad, and his great great great grandfather's ghost who comes to his visit for one weekend. It takes place in the 2080, at a time when global warming, pollution, and human-caused naturaldisasters have wrecked the modern world, yet the consumers' culture is still intact. The ghost, referred to as sepia man, tries to get a grip on the new technology, fashion, unsanitary living conditions, lack of clean air and water, and above all, how people can stilllive their lives as if everything is normal under such circumstances throughout the story.
The world has gone through a natural cataclysm, and is ruled by a capitalistic dystopia. Old skyscrapers are more than halfway below the poisonous, risen, zombie fish lurking seawater, and the sun rays are scorching. It’s impossible to walk on the quays that make the streets outside without wearing portable tents.
Joe and sepia man get mocked, are lectured, and have the worst time of their lives and deaths throughout the tragically comedic story. The ghost questions Joe and his family about wars waged, and mass murdering atomic bombs. They talk about the past, books,andlove.
The story is a contemporary one, mixed with single drops of sci-fi and fantasy: The future, and a ghost. It is 65,900(ish) words, and is meant to be the first part of a five book series. I believe it is somehow similar in tone to Douglas Adam’s "A Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy" series (with its “pessimistic on a healthy dose” sense of humor), and Antoine de Saint-Exupery’s "The Little Prince"
Let me know if you are interested. I can send you the first chapter if you want, so that you'll see if it's a good fit for you or not.
Cordially,
Ali Benice
Hi, I have a YA fantasy (low fantasy, don't worry :)) currently at 66k. I'd appreciate feedback mainly on ways to lengthen the plot out a bit. Let me know if you're interested, I'll send the blurb.
Hi! I need feedback on my first draft. It’s YA fantasy and is 61k words. I will post the partial blurb below so that you can decide if you want to read it. Thanks.
How do you cope when your greatest wish is forbidden in your village?
Fifteen-year-old Kenda has always been sure of one thing—getting married young like the other girls in her village wasn’t what she wanted to do with her life. Instead, she had dreams of wealth and independence, dreams that earned her the disdain of her family.
So when Kenda is tricked into an engagement, she does what any fiercely independent teenager would do. She stages her great escape to a foreign city, but that’s where things get way more complicated than she could imagine.
Kenda uncovers a decades-old curse that has been keeping her village hostage, and learns of her own paranormal powers in the process. In order to save her village and break the curse, she must master her powers. If she doesn’t, humanity will cease to exist.
Join Kenda on her journey in this Coming of Age fantasy novel.
Hey, Ali. I'd love to read your first chapter. I have sent you a DM. I won't be able to take on other projects at the moment. But they sound lovely as well :) Perhaps I'll get a chance to read them in the future. All the best, everyone.
Hi Devanshi,HE WORLD IS DYING,
For seventeen years the Universal War has torn the worlds of men and wizards, and the Black King is winning. Soon King Kerrasar will reign supreme in a world where no one is safe.
The only hope people have lives on the Capital, Planet Earth, unaware of who they truly are. But soon they will know. Soon each one shall carry the curse and name of a Saviour, and the world's fate shall hang on their shoulders. But in King Kerrasar's world there is no place for heroes, while not all of them are sure they can be heroes.
My novel 94K YA novel that doesn't shy away from the dark realities of life with elementsc of sci-fi and fantasy. A story of war, vengeance and family drama. I would like you to comment on world building, characters, their development, plot and give me an overall opinion on the story. If you are interested please reach me at ssevov17@yahoo.com or comment below.
Best of wishes!
Hi Devanshi,I am looking for a beta reader for my YA Fantasy (108k fast-pace). It is a finished draft. And I just would like simple feedback: reader reactions, plot holes checked, clarity of the wording, do you understand how the 'magic' works, etc.
My novel:
Fifteen-year-old Dax Carter has a lot to cope with: homework, bullies, and a secret crush, not to mention wielding the psychic powers that were given to everyone by the aliens when they arrived. It’s 2035 though, and Dax still hasn’t seen an alien . . . or a monster, but that all changes in the span of one night.
First is the monster – a human turned grisly creature by illegal experiments. It breaks into Dax’s house, strangling his mom, but Dax jumps to action, knocking the savage out of the window as it flees into the night.
Afterward, Dax doesn’t get to rest his nerves, sitting face to face with an alien detective and looking into their fiery yellow eyes for the first time. According to his uncle, the aliens are harmless though, bringing peace and technology when they came to the planet.
The monsters cause the bloodshed and gore. And soon they grow rampant as the aliens conspire against the Earth, so Dax must learn to use the little power he was given to protect his family and his town. More importantly though, Dax needs to figure out who the real enemy is – monster, alien, or human – before he ends up as one of the dark monsters, just like his best friend.
Let me know if you are interested. Thanks. ddcash80@gmail.com if you prefer to email.
Hello,I would love to send you my manuscript. Here’s my book back.
"I have to survive. I need to survive. If not for myself, then for my family. For my friends. For him."
There are two types of humans in this world: Normals and the new breed of humans, the Abnormals. The 2000s has been riddled with war and radiation. This is what brought the Abnormals into existence. They have rainbow colored hair and eyes. Dahlia Faye is one of these Abnormals, with purple hair. Now that the 3000s are here, the sky is yellow instead of blue. Water is cloudy. The world is war-torn and in ruins. Genocide is on the minds of the Normals now, and they need a scapegoat. They took Abnormals from their home and relocated them to ghettos. They shoved them in and out of concentration camps and murder them. How will Dahlia Faye survive, overcome her past, and find her future.
I have a YA Fantasy completed at 93,000 words that I really need someone to take a look at. It's been revised a few times by now and at this point I'm interested in overall feedback so I know what works and what doesn't. But all kind of feedback is much appreciated.Blurb:
For leading her enemies to their death, sixteen-year-old Asaleah is cursed with the memory of their final screams, but to be a hero, it’s a price she must pay.
Asaleah and her clan have devoted their lives to Kaia, a ravenous goddess who’s promised to help them defeat the evil forces that stole their land and their freedom. Her price is their daughters, but in return, she gives them the greatest weapon of all: a horde of dragons.
As her clan’s current Reaper, Asaleah has fed countless people to the dragons, to ensure they grow strong enough to crush the enemy. Criminals, traitors, prisoners of war—each has walked to their death beside her.
The last thing Asaleah wants is to break the rules. But when her best friend is taken to the dragons, Asaleah forsakes her duty and saves her friend’s life. For her treason, she is sentenced for ritual sacrifice. Her only way out is to run.
Now, she’s alone in enemy territory and must put her trust in a young elf who knows all too well that Asaleah has spent years slaughtering her kin.
But as her past catches up, and the elf proves willing to stand up to a powerful goddess to save Asaleah, she starts to realize that these people may not be the evil monsters that mothers warn their children about—she is.
DRAGONBORN is a YA fantasy complete at 93,000 words and will appeal to fans of SORCERY OF THORNS by Margaret Rogerson and KING OF SCARS by Leigh Bardugo.
Hi Devanshi,If you get availability I would love to have you take a look at my 60,000 realistic YA manuscript A Strength Within (working title). If you are available and interested, I can send you a sample of my work to see it it's a good fit. Here is a synopsis of the book:
Sarah O´Malley is still reeling from her mother´s death two years ago. Her dad drinks too much to cope with the pain, her best friend has moved away, and her other best friend has abandoned Sarah in her quest to be popular. Sarah feels invisible to her peers, lost among the crowd, and she suffers from constant anxiety and panic attacks.
One day, Sarah meets Noah, a teen who has had his own share of struggles: he has lived in foster care for years after his parents abandoned him and his sister for drugs. Sarah is immediately drawn to him, and as their relationship blossoms, Sarah finds herself feeling braver than she has in years.
But when life threatens to take away everything Sarah has fought for, will Sarah find the strength to take control of her life?
The book is very character-driven, so hopefully it's something that piques your interest. The fact that you're 17 is great for me since you're in my ideal target audience :). I'm looking for characterization and plot pacing, but really any feedback is welcome!
Hi Devanshi,I'm looking for a beta-reader for my 61k YA/Scifi novel Black Heart : Arrival - the stunning sequel to my acclaimed novel, The Black Heart of the Station.
The Station, a city buried deep beneath the surface of a frozen, lifeless earth, is only months away from completing its centuries-long mission to return to its original orbit around the sun.
Seventeen-year-old Trajectory Specialist Trainee Trudy Barnard is studying to join the elite group that control the planet's movement. Though she's a brilliant student, Trudy is haunted by her illustrious pedigree: granddaughter of one of the Station's greatest heroes, and the daughter of its most powerful figure.
Trudy discovers a snippet of code hidden in the trajectory software that would obliterate the Station at the moment of Arrival. When Mission Control are unable duplicate her findings, they accuse her of grandstanding, trying to grab attention.
Ordered to drop the issue, Trudy instead ignites a firestorm that pits her against the governing Council and her own father when she hacks into the Mission Control system itself, searching for answers. In a desperate race against time, and targeted for death by an unknown enemy, she struggles to unravel the mystery.
But can she unlock the secret in time to save them all?
Let me know if you're interested. Thanks for your time.
Jay Allan Storey
I have a 75,000 word manuscript that has been through stage one of editing (a read-through edit and checks on grammarly). I would like a second set of eyes to read through it and offer constructive criticism. Blurb:
Till now there has been only safety and peace on the Island of Alta. Fruit, goats and fresh water are all provided by the Island. Oceans, shoals, and mountains protect the tiny Islands from outsiders. Magic had left the Island before anyone could remember but none of the people seemed to miss it. People live on the Island without a care or worry for the world around them.
Until the ships arrive.
Ships come in the night and bring terror to the Island. Weapons unlike anything on the Island thunder into the night and light the sky with fire. The battle is short but brutal. The invaders don’t just have weapons and technology...
They have magic!
The invaders aren’t the only ones with power on their side. Three Islanders learn that they have magic on the night the ships arrive. The three of them must work together to learn how to use magic, save the people they love and keep hidden from the invaders. They’ve seen the signs and they know that magic is loose.
Is this a manuscript you'd be interested in?
Hi there. This is my first novel to write. I am looking for a beta reader to help improve my book. Any help would be appreciated. I wrote a young adult fantasy that is 73,000 words.A young group of teens goes camping when their plans suddenly change. Magic is released into the world. A team of soldiers tries to save a town from supernatural creatures. Will they survive?
Trigger warning strong language and violence.
Hello! My name is Mytchel Chandler and I am seeking Beta readers for my 82K word, YA Fantasy novel, titled The Dark and Dangerous Days of Sin Shadow. I am looking for a comprehensive assessment focused on a generalized view of the story. I.e. Narrowing in on plot holes, character inconsistency, etc. Please review the synopsis below and see if it is something you’d be interested in. Looking forward to working with you! Sin Shadow, a coming of age teen, has found his true calling in life, becoming a baker. But destiny has other plans as he discovers he has the ability to travel through shadows. When he asks his queen for capital in order to open up his bake shop, the Queen gives him an ultimatum; become the ambassador between the two sides of their world, The Land of the Light and the Land of the Dark, and stop the war from happening, or face the front lines.
He is sent to reconcile with King Nyx, the leader of The Land of the Dark, but struggles on his journey as he unearths the meaning behind his newfound abilities. Sin’s mission to harmonize the two lands turns into a desperate race against time when a foreign army from a land beyond the sea threatens to invade.
Not only must he stop the red army from conquering his homeland, garner the trust of two divided nations, parent his winged cat-son, Alonso, and wrestle with the knowledge that he may never own his own bakery, but Sin must find the answer to the question he’s been struggling with his whole life: Where does he belong?
Hi Devanshi,I have a 60K word YA science fiction book ready to read in a few days after final edits ozn the MS are done. This is book 2 in a series.
I'm looking for sharp eyes on pacing, continuity, on character believability (particularly checking for emotion that rings true), world building, and story. All suggestions welcome, I have thick skin. I would like inline comments.
Thank you in advance.
Hi Devanshi!My book's genre is YA fantasy (115K words) inspired by some elements of the Arthurian legend.
Here is a brief synopsis:
"Donovan lives among the Nirvarians, the new race of a world recreated by the Mason and his Crafters. He spends his life serving his family until the call for war erupts
throughout the land and now he is forced to travel with his brother to fight against those who threaten their lives.
But as he arrives to Dayne, Nirvaria's headquarters for war, Donovan finds himself entrapped in another battle that he has to fight, one that makes him question who he really is, and if his duty truly lies beside the Nirvarians or somewhere else."
The story is a completed first draft and since it's focused on characters, I would really like you to give feedback on characterization, pacing and mostly if characters are developed well and are believable.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Best,
Tamara
Hey! I hope you would like to beta read my fantasy NA/modern adult novel.. Fleeing from her home in turmoil, Avalon falls in love for the first time in a hidden beach paradise.
But when her older cousin Alice orders her return, she travels into a new timeline, a timeline where her home is saved and no longer on brink of a civil war, but as a consequence the hidden beach and other hidden cities may no longer exist, and her new love is nowhere to be seen.....
Will she find him again? And if she does, what if he’s changed? What if she sees a side of him she never thought she would.... ? Will she sacrifice her family, morals and self worth for him, or find a power within?
Message if interested!! Thanks :) x Eva
Hi. This is a young adult fantasy and it is my first manuscript. A group of teens struggle to survive after magic is released into the world.
While a group of soldiers fight to save a town from supernatural creatures.
They must fight monsters and learn about magic if they are to find safety.
Hello, I have recently finished my Fantasy book: Ashes of Revenge (107,410 words). I would describe this as a YA Fantasy book and would love to have a Beta Reader(s) read and review it! If you would only be willing/able to do a chapter or two that is fine as well! Thank you!
In the land of Fantacia, there are five Kingdoms that rule over all, each having its own species: Farian, Monstro, Mundus, Shifter, and Telik. The Kingdom's are constantly at odds and have been on the brink of war for years.
Hoping to take advantage of the Kingdom's disheveled state is Raven, a Mundus that has three-fourths of her body burned. Richard, a Farian with wings as dark as the night and an unmatched skillset with a sword. Colt, a Shifter with two different colored eyes who escaped the Shifter Kingdom and has unmatched fighting skills.
The small group wishes nothing more than to take over the Kingdom's and claim the thrones for themselves. However, one day Raven runs into the entity of Death, and he forces them to derail their plan and follow his, unknown to Richard and Colt. Raven has to go to the Kingdom that she never wanted to see again, the Mundus Kingdom. There, the group's secrets and pasts begin to slowly rise to the surface, threatning their plans. Raven is forced to do as Death says, which begins to take a physical and mental toll on Raven. However, they still have one goal - revenge.
Please PM me :)
Hi, I have a completed YA Fantasy currently at 103,125 words. I am looking for overall flow and plot, as well as holes and or slow areas, etc. Also If the ending fits with the beginning and if it works etc. Here is the blurb I have been working on:Shayleen Cooper doesn't think she’s different or unique. Just another normal seventeen-year-old who doesn't fit in. Until the eerie night, she meets the monsters that show her just how different she really is.
She has no idea what is real anymore, including her own sanity. “Family history,” she’s sure the Docs will say, as they throw her in a padded room.
As she's launched deeper in this unknown world, Shay has no choice but to fight.
No big deal right? All that stands in her way is her imprisonment, hordes of beasts, shifters, and an unknown civilization living amongst them. All hell-bent on killing her.
She discovers her unconventional family along the way, and the boy she just can’t have. But don’t they know to stay away from her? Everyone she cares about ends up dead or forever altered…
*Violence and gore as well as light profanity.
If interested message me, thanks
Devanshi wrote: "Hey, everyone.I am interested in reading and reviewing a YA book. I tap into books that rely on an emotional connection to the reader very well, and if you have well-developed, flawed characters ..."
Hi Devanshi,
I'm writing a novel series about a group of friends coming of age in New York City. It is titled Manhattan Girls and the first book should be available on Amazon now. I am almost halfway done with the second book, A Change Would Do You Good, and should be released sometime in late February or early March.
Let me know if you want to read a couple of chapters of the second novel.
Sincerely,
J.D. Fitzgerald
Good afternoon Devanshi, I was wondering if you were available to beta read at this time. I am looking for people who can help beta my debut novel, Alone in the Metal.This is a Fantasy/Sci-fi, YA novel.
There is a little racism and sexist language in this novel (Not throughout the entire book just a few scenes)
There is an attempt rape scene in the novel.
There is murder in the novel along with a few suicides. The novel also has military aspects to it as well, so there is a little fighting.
There are three different POVs in this novel, and it is all in 3rd person.
The novel is 91,655 words and about 315 pages.
I want all my beta readers to be aware, I am a Christian man and my Christian views show in my novel. I have prayers in the novel and other aspects that are derived from the bible.
Summary for “Alone in the Metal”
Alaric and Leroy, two normal brothers who live at a military orphanage that is secluded from the rest of the world. The kids here were abandoned by their parents and are now raised their whole lives to join the army. The weird thing is, none of the kids nor instructors at the orphanage know anything about where the kids came from or who their parents even are. Every time a kid asks, they get a quick response like, “You were dropped off in the middle of the night.” This doesn’t fly with Leroy, who is determined to find out who his and Alaric’s parents are and why they did not want them. Until Leroy is shipped off to another orphanage and Alaric is left alone while finding out the truth that they are not normal children, but androids created by the General. Can he escape the lie they have been forced into or is it impossible for a puppet to be free?
Hi Devanshi,No clue if you are still taking manuscripts, but if you are, I think I might have what you are looking for.
I have a 74k YA manuscript on its 5th draft.
Here's my pitch:
Dollstone is a small and secluded Australian beach town harbouring a tight-knit religious community which resides within its own little bubble and ignores far more than it should. This town’s hypocrisies will be uncovered.
Just a heads up, maybe this book won’t be for you if you aren’t up for touching the subjects of sex work, suicide, or religion.
This character driven story follows the lives of seven young people in this town.
-Cade, a boy who hates pity more than anything else and values the fresh start that moving to Dollstone has offered.
-Elke, a girl who lost the affection of the town due to the actions of her sister.
-Phin, a high achiever who will stop at no costs to getting the achievements he needs to get his scholarship and ticket out of this town.
-Alexander, an athlete who wants to get strong enough to beat his best friend and step out of his shadow.
-Giorno, a closeted artist who wants to be valued for more than his “God-given” talents.
-Carney, beloved school captain turned sex-worker, finds that the town that once adored her no longer has the patience to hear her attempts of justifying herself; a frustratingly repetitive activity in her life.
-Vic, an angry teen who was adopted by the town’s religious leader out of an act of charity.
Hi, Devanshi. I have a completed YA Urban fantasy, currently, at 103,000 words, I would love a beta reader for. I'm looking for any and all comments and critique. Here is the blurb I have been working on:Shayleen Cooper doesn't think she’s anything but ordinary. Just another normal seventeen-year-old who doesn't fit in. Until the eerie night, she meets the monsters that show her just how different she really is.
She has no idea what is real anymore, including her own sanity. “Family history,” she’s sure the Doc’s will say, as they throw her in a padded room.
As she's launched deeper in this unknown world, Shay has no choice but to fight.
No big deal right? All that stands in her way is her imprisonment, hordes of savage beasts, ruthless shifters, and an unknown civilization living amongst them. All hell-bent on killing her.
She discovers her unconventional family along the way, and the boy she just can’t have. But don’t they know to stay away from her? Everyone she cares about ends up dead or forever altered…
*Some violence, gore and mild language.
If interested message me.
Hello! Not sure if your still following this thread, but I’d love for you to read my manuscript, if you’re interested. Working Title: Chasing Something
Genre: YA/Thriller
Word Count: 60k
Looking for: Overall feedback. Plot holes. Comments, concerns.
Synopsis:
The novel follows the lives of five friends from a local high school in Pennsylvania. There is sweet, beautiful Tammy, the glue that keeps them together; Autumn, a quick-talking blonde with a secret or two; Natalie, a Latina fighting for normalcy in her broken home; Nick, a love sick boy with something to prove; and the indignant, fifth wheel, Neena, who is incapable of distinguishing fact from reality.
Each with a problem of their own, their relationships deepen and faulter as three of them make their way to NYU, the other two choosing their own kind of love back home. But their lives never untwine, as death begins to pop up in unexpected places.
Please message or email me (hello@chasing-something.com)
:)
I am interested in reading and reviewing a YA book. I tap into books that rely on an emotional connection to the reader very well, and if you have well-developed, flawed characters that reveal their vulnerabilities to the reader, then please send me your book to review. Also, if it's a fantasy, then that's an added bonus because I'm a fantasy author myself, though I am not looking for complex, epic fantasies. Sorry, I've read too many of those.
Also, I'm only 17 at the moment. I am about to get into a BA English literature course, and I am a passionate reader and writer. I first began writing when I was only five, and I also have two published novels to my credit. Since I have experience working with professional editors, I am good at pointing out line-editing errors and weaknesses. And anyway, I would be happy to review another piece of fiction thoroughly because it is a good learning experience for the reviewer as well.
If you're interested, kindly comment below a short summary of your project and its word count. Also, do tell me whether it's a first draft because then I will not get nit-picky. Also, kindly tell me what kind of feedback you are looking for. Line-editing stuff? Pacing? Characterisation? Give me some idea so that I can better assist you.
Also, I will only be able to review one project at this time.
Thanks!