Year-long NaNo discussion
Joey Trout
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Current synopsis (still working on it):Maya Ashtar was shipped away from earth, away from her family, along with many others at the beginning of the revolution all in the name of sameness. She lives on the planet Kyrin with all of the others who broke the aura of sameness. All the old, sick, disabled. Anyone who had any kind of serious injury. Unlike others though, Maya doesnt know why shes there. Shes not sick or ugly. She's not rebelious or spunky. She's just an average girl.
But then she runs into an underground group of rebels, where everything changes for her.
With the help of an albino girl and her secret crush, she works to take down the evil government and restore the universe to peace. Or so she thinks.
Thats what i have so far soooo... Tell me what you think! i know its pretty bad but im still working on it...
That sounds really good ! I've yet to share my synopsis because i'm really bad at summarizing . xD
Hmmm . . . sounds like something I would be interested in reading.
@Mikayla Thanks! Same here... I probably spent way too much time coming up with that XD before I had a synopsis and people asked me what it was about I was like... um, well... people XD@Elizabeth I’m not doing beta readers for a long time yet sry (unless REALLY close friends and family counts) but hang around for snippets if you’d like!
Haha Joey, no sweat. I didn't mean it like that. xD I was just implying that it sounded interesting!!
Sounds interesting, Joey! Looking forward to hearing more about it. :)
Joey wrote: "@Mikayla Thanks! Same here... I probably spent way too much time coming up with that XD before I had a synopsis and people asked me what it was about I was like... um, well... people XD@Elizabeth ..."
Haha ,yes me too both things ! xD
Here’s a short snippet from today:Today is the deadline for Artria to bring the chip. At precisely noon he knocks on the bunker door and let him in.
He grins at me, telling he most likely has the chip. I doubt he would be in a good mood if he had failed this mission. “Good to see you’re still alive.” He tells me with a sarcastic grin.
I don’t respond, just lead him straight to Jordan’s office.
Once he enters the room, he pulls a small chip out of his pocket and smiles, placing it on the desk. “You didn’t think I could do it, did you?” He asks Jordan, his pride evident.
“Honestly, no. But I’m glad you did.” He picks it up from the table.
“What now?” I ask.
Jordan stands up from his chair and grins at me. “This is the fun part. We take over the universe.” He informs, leaving the room. Both me and Artria follow him, part out of obligation, part out of pure curiosity.
Another rough excerpt ;):“DUCK!” I scream, falling to the ground and throwing my hands over my head. Ivie grabs my arm and pulls me away.
“Don’t duck, run you idiot.” She tells me sarcastically, searching for everyone else in the midst of the now flaming room. Something had caught fire and the whole room was a blaze, machinery and architecture alike burning ferociously.
I then spot who had shot the cannon and my breath catches in my chest. Artria.
What do you guys think of “The Forsaken” as a title?
^^ It's pretty good, but would you like to have my honest opinion? xD
Thanks Elizabeth! And yes, Merie please be honest (you won’t hurt my feelings I swear😁)
Okay then! I've seen a lot of spec fic titles, and to be honest The Forsaken doesn't really stand out among all the others. I guess if I knew what you were going for, I could elaborate more, if you wanted. Forsaken feels more fantasy and dystopian than sci-fi, so maybe you could add to it? (After all, three-word titles are totally underused nowadays!)
You’re right!! I’ve totally seen like ten other books called Forsaken or The Forsaken. Thanks Merie! Well, before I had Forsaken in this Barren Land but that didn’t fit that well and not many people liked it (including me)Hmm I guess I’ll just have to keep thinking
You're welcome! I must admit I'm quite... particular when it comes to book titles and names. :) I actually think This Barren Land sounds pretty cool, but that may be just me. xD
Thanks for the input! Ooh I’ll have to think about that...
Excerpt:I try to calm my breathing, get myself under control. “Why doesn’t it hurt?” I ask feebly.
She shrugs. “You’re probably on all kinds of painkillers now.” She tells me, not reassuring. She continues with the bad news. “They told us about your disease. It’s upped to a contagious level after the inflammation in your leg.” She tells me, and I see tears stinging the corners of her eyes. Does she... care? About me? She quickly turns her face away so I can’t see the tears anymore.
This Barren Land sounds really neat!! I like it's originality!!
This story sounds interesting! :DLove the title “This Barren Land.” It does kind of sound like a dystopian title, though (ooh, that could be a bit of foreshadowing; if the regime that the MC takes down was really a good one, and the results are...less than satisfying). Idk if that’s what you were going for or not. :)
Also, here’s a really nifty Titlescorer, if you want to mess around with other titles/their probability of being noticed/bestsellers: http://www.lulu.com/titlescorer/index...
What'd I say, Joey? This Barren Land sounds like a great title!
Hmm okay thanks Meriwen! You’ve brought up some really good things for me to think about. Apparently this barren land has a 10.2% chance of being a bestseller according to lulu @Merie I know thanks!!!
I haven’t done a snippet for a while so... The explosion threw us all off, enough so that we lost track of Ivie and Maya through the chaos. Somehow, me and Ashley had stayed together, and the three men who had been introduced to me were there too.
We made It outside of the mall before we realized they were gone. Ashely looks back at the entrance with a worried face. “What do we do?” She asks, her face anxiety stricken.
I motion back to the flaming entrance of the mall. “What can we do?” I ask her logically, but she still crosses her arms stubbornly.
“We are not leaving without them. I can’t abandon them.”
*throws confetti*
This is is a sci-fi novel about... people 😉
Feel free to ask questions and probe me about what it’s about!
Synopsis... to come😜