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TENTORIA
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Science Fiction > Need your advice. Which book description may be most appealing to you?

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message 1: by Sorin (new) - added it

Sorin Banu | 4 comments Dear Goodreaders,

For the new English edition of my book I would like to ask your advice: which is to you the most appealing title and description to be put on an e-store (like Amazon) - A or B or C? and D or E?



Title A:
Tentoria
or Title B:
Tentoria: Be ready to forget the future!
or Title C:
Tentoria: When the Island will be the only place to live.

Description D:
Halfway through the 22nd century, mankind enters into a new world war to produce the first generation of Tentorians: an army of bionic humans made up as a last ditch solution to establish peace. With functioning bodies and human intelligence, they are the first genuine success in the artificial improvement. In time, the Tentorians come officially to be a nation, showing more and more their true nature: blood and power-thirsty, human-bodied machines. Thus, in the 25th century, the great powers made up their minds to hunt them down all over the world and have them isolated inside a region called TENTORIA.

Will the springing of this nation bear consequences on the past?
The action moves back in time 500 years, to the year 2024. Cole is a 27 year old young man leading a happy life in a peculiar world: a planet Earth consisting but of a piece of land surrounded by one single large ocean, and a population of 12 million people ruled by a secret organization. As the story unfolds, he realizes the reality of his existence at break-neck speed on the edge of survival.

"TENTORIA" raises questions on human values, the conflict between virtual and reality, between present and future; on mankind’s hope of living into a concrete, non-virtual world away from the technological drug we grow increasingly addicted to while seeping deeper and deeper inside our body.

or Description E:
An army of bionic humans supposed to establish peace will turn against humanity.
In the 22nd century, mankind enters into a new world war to produce the first generation of Tentorians: an army of bionic humans made up as a last ditch solution to establish peace. With functioning bodies and human intelligence, they are the first genuine success in the artificial improvement. In time, the Tentorians come officially to be a nation, showing more and more their true nature: blood and power-thirsty, human-bodied machines. Thus, in the 25th century, the great powers made up their minds to hunt them down all over the world and have them isolated inside a region called TENTORIA.

Will the springing of this nation bear consequences on the past?
The action moves back in time 500 years, to the year 2024, and to Cole, a 27 year old young man leading a happy life in a peculiar world:
A planet Earth consisting but of a piece of land surrounded by one single large ocean, and a population of 12 million people ruled by a secret organization.
As the story unfolds, Cole realizes the reality of his existence at break-neck speed on the edge of survival.

Where is the human evolution heading?
The dystopian novel "TENTORIA" raises questions on human values, the conflict between virtual and reality; on mankind’s hope of living into a concrete, non-virtual world away from the technological drug we grow increasingly addicted to while seeping deeper and deeper inside our body.

From the readers:
“The kind of book hooking you and not letting you go until finding the truth, who lies, who dies, who loves, and in particular what was really going there!”

“The story covers an interval of 500 years, and sets forth a universe not easy to asses, as the historic events reveal themselves to the reader: do we deal here with a utopia or dystopia?”

“A book full of action that is ready to take you into a thrilling adventure along time.”

“It’s interesting how it alternates from one century to the other or from a strictly confined world to a boundless one. Liked it for having me thinking, opening before my eyes a quite possible future.”

“A narration on future...or past, on mankind’s addiction to an increasingly sophisticated technology or to a straightforward achieved happiness.”

“It was hard to put it aside. It set my mind in ‘motion’ and shaped an utterly unexpected vision over what our not too far future might look like.”


You see other better options? Feel free to share.

Thanks a lot!


message 2: by Michael (new)

Michael Lewis (mll1013) | 128 comments First of all, I love the cover. Great artwork, awesome title font. I would change the tagline at the bottom to be a bit smaller and centered as well.

As for the title and description, I like Title A. I'm not a big fan of long title names, because they just seem less authentic and more cheesy. Again, I would include one (but not both) of the taglines at the bottom, just in a smaller, centered font.

I'm a fan of concise blurb descriptions. The descriptions you have crafted would be fine on the dust jacket of a hard-cover book, but for an ebook, I would prefer a shorter blurb, just because I have a lot of reading material to choose from, so I want to get a very quick concept of your book compared to the many other blurbs I'll be reading and choosing from.

In your case, I think you could remove the 2nd paragraph from either Description E or F altogether. We'll get introduced to Cole soon enough. :-)

Best wishes!


message 3: by Jillian (new)

Jillian Bald | 4 comments Sorin wrote: "Dear Goodreaders,

For the new English edition of my book I would like to ask your advice: which is to you the most appealing title and description to be put on an e-store (like Amazon) -
A or B..."


I agree with Michael's points in the message above. I lean toward B and a shorter blurb (it reads well without the second paragraph). The bold lettering in description E is more eye-catching, so I would keep that. Great job, Sorin! Good luck!


message 4: by Sorin (new) - added it

Sorin Banu | 4 comments Michael wrote: "First of all, I love the cover. Great artwork, awesome title font. I would change the tagline at the bottom to be a bit smaller and centered as well.

As for the title and description, I like Title..."


Thanks for the input, Michael,
It all makes sense.

Cover: I will check for sure how it looks centered.
Blurb: got this message (> concise) from two others as well. I will try to reduce the Description E to half of the words.

Checked your profile and saw that you are also a writer, so I appreciate you took the time to write.
In general I appreciate any writer trying to put real time, thoughts and content online...because I learned how hard (to impossible) it is to shine without effort.

I wish you all the luck with your books and may the 5 stars be with you! :-)


message 5: by Sorin (new) - added it

Sorin Banu | 4 comments Jillian wrote: "I agree with Michael's points in the message above. I lean toward B and a shorter blurb (it reads well without the second paragraph). The bold lettering in description E is more eye-catching, so I would keep that. Great job, Sorin! Good luck!"

Thank you, Jilian,
I will definitely keep E and make it shorter. This feedback stood out.
Still thinking on what to do with the title on pages but thanks for your input as well.

I wish you good luck with your books.
Maybe one minor remark: don't know why goodreads copied the description text twice on your The House of Baric Part Three: Widows and Weddings.

My best wishes,
Sorin


message 6: by Malcolm (last edited Apr 24, 2019 03:31AM) (new)

Malcolm Connell Wardlaw | 6 comments Sorin,

The artwork is good (wish I could say the same about my book, but I'll get there...)
I would omit "when the Island will be the only place to live" from the cover, as it does not mean much to those who have not read the book.
Simple short Title A is preferable IMHO.
Description E with highlights preferable, but make the following texts much shorter. The highlights already tell 90% of what will attract readers. Less is more !
I would not bother including other readers' comments, it weakens the blurb.


message 7: by Sorin (new) - added it

Sorin Banu | 4 comments James wrote: "Sorin,

The artwork is good (wish I could say the same about my book, but I'll get there...)
I would omit "when the Island will be the only place to live" from the cover, as it does not mean much t..."


Thanks a lot for the advice, James,
I will need some inner power to get rid of that line from the cover, though I get where you are coming from.

OK with E.
With "less is more"...I hate that you are right. I wish I could ignore your comment. I cut already some text and I promise I will cut more ;)

Which is the book that you are talking about, btw?


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